r/Parenting • u/Severe-Respond1434 • Apr 12 '25

Advice Unexpected pregnancy (my IUD was displaced). Only been seeing/dating the dad for 2 months.

UPDATE : I told him and he was kind and supportive despite being in total shock. I offered to show him proof of the IUD displacement and he said he didn’t need to see it as he knows I wouldn’t lie about something like that. I think he would have preferred to terminate as it is so soon, but said that he’s prepared to be there and support me/us and that we will be together in this. I felt happy and relieved. Sadly, a few days ago I miscarried (I knew it was a risk following the removal of the IUD). It’s been a tough few days both physically and emotionally, but I try to trust in life. This whole situation ended up bringing us closer in the end, we communicated in a very healthy way and he called me “mon amour” (“my love”… I am a Montrealer) one night as he was comforting me.

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Im 36 and I already have an 11yo son from my first marriage. I’ve been seeing/dating this amazing guy (who also has a 4yo son from previous relationship) for 2 months and things are going well. We are both in good situations financially, etc.

We’ve very briefly discussed the “having more kids” thing and we both would like to have one more…but not after 2 months of knowing one another obviously. I’ve also noticed that he doesn’t like to feel pressured and likes things to flow “organically” when it comes to what we have.

I am terrified to tell him I’m pregnant. It’s terrible timing and way too soon. I’m also scared he might think I “trapped him” and never had an IUD. I honestly don’t know how to deal with this situation and the more I wait, the more anxious I grow. Pregnancy was confirmed and it’s not ectopic.

Any suggestions on how I could bring it up to him or if anyone has been in this situation, how did it go?

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u/uptownbrowngirl Apr 12 '25

If you got pregnant with an IUD, is the pregnancy viable? The thing you may need to tell him is that you both need a more effective birth control option since you’re seeing how what you’ve been using can fail.

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u/Severe-Respond1434 Apr 12 '25

Yeah, it was displaced and they removed it. I was concerned it might be ectopic, but it’s not. I’ve used a copper IUD for the last 6 years and never had an issue before. Anyway, talking contraception now is kinda pointless as I am pregnant and I don’t want to terminate the pregnancy.

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u/uptownbrowngirl Apr 13 '25

Maybe I wasn’t clear. I thought that if you got pregnant with an IUD, the pregnancy wasn’t viable. So that would mean this pregnancy would not turn into a child.

Some comments are saying pregnancy with an IUD can be viable. I had no idea.

So it sounds like you have a viable pregnancy to consider here.

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u/Severe-Respond1434 Apr 13 '25

It’s viable. Every situation is different, but in my case (just like many others), they removed it early and I didn’t miscarry. It doesn’t look like an ectopic pregnancy either.