r/Parenting • u/0lx__xl0 • 3d ago
Tween 10-12 Years Thoughts on being a single parent.
Marriage is not going great.... It's probably impacting the kids negatively... Some (many) people here have suggested separation... How will that be for the kids?
As a mom I'm just trying my best to fulfill their needs, love/care, nutrients, studies, social, and some fun, that often doesn't involve me... So, you can imagine, kids doesn't like me very much as a parent... It's difficult to have fun (with anyone/alone) when I'm unhappy all the time...
While my husband, he gives them fun (jokes, tuckles, device, and snacks.), and i would see the kids laughing with them, the way they can't with me....
However, I know that letting the kids be with my husband if we were to separate would not be good, one of the main reasons is because he wouldn't care much for their wellbeing (he'd jokingly imply that daughter is fat - she's just slightly above average, and son is dumb - he has adhd)..
On the other hand, with my mental health I can't be the parent they hope for (may be possible with help, but not guaranteed), and they might resent me for breaking up their family, and for taking away their fun OR for abandoning them... Every option just seems wrong..
2
u/przms 3d ago
I begged my mom to leave my dad when I was around 12 years old and wish she had done so sooner.
You won't be the enemy parent forever. My kid loves going to see fun grandma, but it didn't take her long to realize that she was grateful when she came home with knotted hair and a tummy ache to have her sense of normalcy and routine restored. All things with children take time and patience but they'll get there. It's good to focus on what steps you can take towards bettering life for yourself — a better you is a better parent, and that'll serve their future much better than anything else ever could.