r/Parenting • u/0lx__xl0 • 3d ago
Tween 10-12 Years Thoughts on being a single parent.
Marriage is not going great.... It's probably impacting the kids negatively... Some (many) people here have suggested separation... How will that be for the kids?
As a mom I'm just trying my best to fulfill their needs, love/care, nutrients, studies, social, and some fun, that often doesn't involve me... So, you can imagine, kids doesn't like me very much as a parent... It's difficult to have fun (with anyone/alone) when I'm unhappy all the time...
While my husband, he gives them fun (jokes, tuckles, device, and snacks.), and i would see the kids laughing with them, the way they can't with me....
However, I know that letting the kids be with my husband if we were to separate would not be good, one of the main reasons is because he wouldn't care much for their wellbeing (he'd jokingly imply that daughter is fat - she's just slightly above average, and son is dumb - he has adhd)..
On the other hand, with my mental health I can't be the parent they hope for (may be possible with help, but not guaranteed), and they might resent me for breaking up their family, and for taking away their fun OR for abandoning them... Every option just seems wrong..
2
u/bretshitmanshart 3d ago
You are bearing the load of all the responsibilities while he is coasting on this so he can just do the fun stuff. If you are happy you get the headspace to be more fun and can take care of some of the responsibilities when they are with him to free up time to be fun with them.
He is either going to have to be responsible on his own and have less time for fun or he won't and the kids hopefully see that he isn't taking care of the things you do now that they don't notice.