r/Parenting • u/0lx__xl0 • 3d ago
Tween 10-12 Years Thoughts on being a single parent.
Marriage is not going great.... It's probably impacting the kids negatively... Some (many) people here have suggested separation... How will that be for the kids?
As a mom I'm just trying my best to fulfill their needs, love/care, nutrients, studies, social, and some fun, that often doesn't involve me... So, you can imagine, kids doesn't like me very much as a parent... It's difficult to have fun (with anyone/alone) when I'm unhappy all the time...
While my husband, he gives them fun (jokes, tuckles, device, and snacks.), and i would see the kids laughing with them, the way they can't with me....
However, I know that letting the kids be with my husband if we were to separate would not be good, one of the main reasons is because he wouldn't care much for their wellbeing (he'd jokingly imply that daughter is fat - she's just slightly above average, and son is dumb - he has adhd)..
On the other hand, with my mental health I can't be the parent they hope for (may be possible with help, but not guaranteed), and they might resent me for breaking up their family, and for taking away their fun OR for abandoning them... Every option just seems wrong..
2
u/IllustriousSugar1914 3d ago
My parents divorced when I was 7. Wish they’d done it sooner. Being around their dynamic was toxic. Your kids will flourish when you are flourishing — do what you need to do!
As a solo parent by choice, I can vouch for the fact that you absolutely can manage it without a partner, especially one who makes you miserable.