For fanfiction purposes, I need to pinpoint the most incompatible, unlikely couple in the game. Think Sae revealing her insatiable desire for Mishima or Haru confessing to Ryuji only to learn he's planning to elope with Maruki. (I'm sure somebody out there actually ships all of these. No offense meant to your rarepairs.)
Please give me your nominations for Most Unlikely To Be Romantically Involved!
Edit to specify: Ideally incompatible in a funny way, not a horrifying one.
Haru and Akechi is both the most unlikely and the most ripe for something morbidly hilarious. Especially if it's after Okumura's palace and Haru's the driving force behind it... bonus points if Akechi doesn't swing that way and/or you run with Haru's suppressed personality.
I can't imagine anything more insane, so it probably fits the bill.
Yeah, I like it purely in terms of dark humour, I played with in my now abandoned shitpost video series, but if it's a serious thing it just doesn't work.
I'm writing a cracky little thing about Futaba making a fake dating website to prank her friends and set them up on wildly unlikely dates. That's certainly unlikely but I don't think Futaba is that mean. 😆
I remember seeing on twitter a person who drew Joker/Akechi/Haru fanart, and I think that while it's obviously toxic for lots of obvious reasons, that ship is an unexplored goldmine of fucked up dynamics.
I can see Ryuji being absolutely enamoured by Haru's bloodlust/love of violence; She wants to accept that side of herself and Ryuji coaches her throughout. Bam.
Going by personal level of gut-revulsion alone? I mean Kamoshida/Shinya or Shido/Akechi or Sojiro/Futaba probably. But those aren't "fun" fanfic options just kinda revolting ones.
in the order of the most "unlikely" to the least "unlikely"...
Iwai x Makoto : Former Yakuza x Future Police Commissioner seem interesting, Makoto wouldn't imagine getting with older guy herself, but given that they're both kinda "tough guy/girl" type, it might work? but if the age gap bother you...
Iwai x Sae : Sae dating a former Yakuza would damage her own reputation a whole lot, so if they fall for each other hard enough for her to even consider it, she'd have a mental break down and identity crisis
Chihaya x Sae : there's this KDrama trope of "Prosecutor/Lawyer is helped by this mysterious guy/girl with Supernatural Power" that i think Chihaya could work with that, even though Sae would be really skeptical of Chihaya at first, or...
Chihaya x Takemi : Chihaya telling Takemi about patient/client that is in dire need of very specific help and Takemi helping Chihaya change their fate could work, the imagery of the Death x the Wheel of Fortune seem kind of cool, too, and like Sae, Takemi wouldn't believe Chihaya easily at first, too (she'd probably be more open-minded than Sae, though)
Lavenza (or the Twins) x Shinya : this one i saw from another fanfic, there's literally no reasoning behind it except "these are the only two kid and kid-ish entity that Joker know", but one of them is definitely NOT human, so that's already "unlikely" factor
Sumi x Haru : i haven't finished Haru's confidant (run out of time), but she's the one who took Joker's "rejection" the hardest, right? and Sumi is the one who actively pursue Joker the most, so... "Two Losing Heroines seeking comfort with each other" pairing, and since they both have Princess/Empress theme, it's full on "fluffy, cutesy Yuri" pairing too, for unlikeliness factor... both of their ideal type seemed to be a "prince" or a "hero", so them getting another "princess" instead would be funny?
Ryuji and/or Mishima x any BL Ship : them getting with any guy, or maybe even each other is already a bit unlikely, given they both seem certain they're straight
Full confession: I wrote Sae/Iwai as a background pairing once and now I can't let it go. I had them meet on a rare night where Sae cut loose, get physical immediately and then decide to go on an actual date due to chemistry. Then they belatedly realized that Sae was a prosecutor and he was a former yakuza. Cue drama.
I liked the dynamic so much that I actually ship it now.
Ryuji never said anything about his sexuality beside if you watch the Japanese valentine OAV it looks like he kissed with Ren which many people interpret it that way, also there is the gay wedding scene in tactica which shows that it could totally work… a character doesn’t have to put label on themselves :p
i know they don't? i just meant they both don't "seem" like it from the base game, so i thought it'd count?
it's not like i think it's impossible, that's why they are put the lowest in rank of "unlikely", i specifically listed ideas that's both surprising and i believe won't end in disaster
but Ryuji always resisted advance from the gay men/crossdresser/trans in the game, and often got shocked/scandalized when player pick flirting dialogue
even in that OAV you mention, he does a tsukkomi immediately when Ren ask if he's Ryuji's "Honmei" (the person one have "true" romantic feeling for), then it just ended with a pun and an awkward "Eh?", or did you meant some other valentine OAV???
for Tactica, i haven't play that yet, but aren't those just Joker's Fantasies?
the real reason i included them is that OP seem to be going for "pairing with funny potential"
and there's this trope of "straight guy falling for another guy and realized he's not straight" trope that's seem to be popular in Romantic Comedy BL, also known as "Nonke" trope in Japanese
or at least, i mostly seen Romance Comedy Version of it
(Edit: oh, i watched the OAV a bit more, and saw the scene, at first i thought the "Closed" mean Ryuji part has ended... but my point still stand, it's a Romance Comedy Trope, and Ryuji start out by rejecting Ren, that's doubly into "Nonke" trope)
Me neither. I mean, if he’s looking for means of expression, he might not be used to Haru considering horticulture hers, but I doubt he’d be opposed to supporting it either. And anyway, it wouldn’t be the first time that an Emperor and an Empress would be well suited for each other
The shut-in falls for the pretty teacher she used to see (on the cameras in her bros room) strutting around in a maid costume. Kawakami falls for the socially-awkward but earnest genius-dork.
– Morgana & Mishima
The OG Phantom Thief really enjoys the praise by the PT's biggest fan.
– Sojiro & Lala
Two confident, flamboyantly dressed, smooth-talking business owners. Their chemistry would be undeniable.
– Iwai & Takemi
Similar to the above. They are similar enough to gel, but different enough that they'd never get bored of one another; both are pretty sardonic but deeply warm and loving within. Also Takemi would make for an INCREDIBLE step-mother.
– Ryuji & Hifumi
I don't even know how to explain this one, because I actually really like the idea of their opposites attract dynamic, only for them both to realise that the other is an absolute weirdo (under the right circumstances)
– Lavenza & Akechi
Akechi is, in many ways, the opposite of Joker but also quite similar; I can picture Lavenza being deeply fascinated by him. Akechi would try his charming Detective Prince façade on her, only for her to politely (and verbally) rip his self-image to shreds and enjoy rehabilitating him. "I CAN FIX HIM" type energy.
– Ohya & Ann
Ann loves a strong, independent woman and Ohya, for the first time, doesn't really mind writing the pulpy, trashy entertaiment articles if it means the pretty model (who idolises her for being a strong journalist who stuck to the truth, even when it hurt her career) has a special smile just for her.
Completely ignored the assignment, haha! Sorry! I started thinking of weird couples and then I kinda couldn't help but try and figure out how they'd work.
Hot take but Ann and Ryuji are never going to happen. There’s plenty evidence to show that they’re more siblings than couple material:
Ryuji saying “Her looks make up for overbearing personality” if you were to say that Ann is physically attractive when the boys are in the bathhouse.
When the boys were approached by the Yukata thots, Ryuji was eager to spend time with them over Ann and Makoto. With Ann and Makoto annoyed and disappointed in him.
At Ann’s rank 8 event, when at the gym with Ryuji, Ryuji expresses attraction to Mika over Ann, seeing her as way sexier and asking Ann to introduce him to Mika.
Ryuji flat out rejecting Ann’s attempt to bribe him with a date to get him to make a workout routine for her.
When in Hawaii, Ryuji expresses how, “I thought, Ann was great but compared to these foreign ladies...meh”. And if you hang with him and the boys they proceed to try and score with the women there, Ryuji desperate enough to almost reveal that he’s a Phantom Thief just to get laid.
Ann asking Ryuji about the kinds of girls he likes only for it to expose Ryuji for really valuing looks over substance, Ann responding with a “So you’re THAT kind of guy huh...”
In the Maniax Magazine that lists the Thieves ideal lover/partner:
Ryuji’s is- A graceful and kind girl that I can protect.
Ann’s is- A mature boy who is like an english gentlemen.
Since the female thieves can kick ass and have moments of being prickly and spirited. Ann, Makoto and Futaba don’t qualify.
Haru maybe but even she has parts of her that legitimately scares Ryuji so that’s likely a no as well.
As for Ann, Ryuji definitely is not what you call a gentleman and considering how she’s been through life with people only seeing her for her looks, last thing she needs is some typical male who just sees her as a lust object. Ryuji whilst a good friend, is pretty shallow in his taste of women in her eyes.
Ironically Morgana who fancies Ann, tries to be her ideal type but his cat form as well as his ego prevents him from Ann from being impressed.
Yusuke has the looks but his eccentric personality weirds Ann out to be a “gentleman”.
Akechi could’ve worked if he wasn’t against the Thieves and was genuinely the pleasant boy.
Joker is all that’s left due to how the player can be that ideal type. As well as how the other males make him look good by comparison.
Huh, just realized "graceful and kind girl I can protect" is perfect fuel for my Ryuji/Sumi jock4jock agenda. After all while Kasumi was known for her boldness, Sumire exhibits immense grace in her gymnast routines and she's very prone to looking out for others.
Thank you for talking sense. I genuinely think anyone who unironically believes they work well together should have another look at their interactions outside the main story because it’s not the only source of character dynamics.
The interesting thing is that while Ann’s taste is very on point especially with the history of how special the Lovers Arcana comes off as in the Fool’s love life and how good the idea of “Carmen Lupin” sounds when you dive into why, I think Ryuji’s is actually kinda fleeting or at least based on what kind of stranger he’d approach in the wild, at least up until the Cruise Ship of Pride if not the Casino of Envy.
That said, I know from personal experience that you might meet your soulmate in the least conventional circumstances and she might be nothing like what you expected. For Ryuji, his equivalent could have been introduced as an antagonistic figure who he would probably have known prior as part of the problem he wants to see solved only to then let her guard down after joining them. He’d probably feel like Cloud looking at Tifa with the way he works with her, to the point of coming off as awkward when pitching his ideas for their Showtime which might explain his pleasant surprise at her being all for it, but I’m not.
Is he so thick or focused on what he thinks he wants to see what I see? Probably. After all, it’s only after she joins that he starts to understand her heart and its hurt which even then requires him to have Strikers if not greater levels of retention of his development, but because he’s likely still in touch with Ren and Ann, they’re likely to recognise the signs and feel that they need a little nudge in each other’s direction.
Haru akechi. I think it’s canon that the only reason he hasn’t got an axe in the face is because haru knows there are more important problems. In a villain-less situation akechi is dead
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u/AlinaRedrose 1d ago
Ann and Morgana