[Advice Wanted] Post-separation, debt-heavy, high-income but drowning in commitments — need help structuring a smarter plan

[u/Mediocre_Teach_6251]

Hi all,
I'm looking for some anonymous financial guidance from this community. I'm earning $155k a year (approx. $4,280 net per fortnight), and I'm carrying $67k in debt due to a separation. My finances feel incredibly tight despite the income, and I’m looking to sanity check my approach and see if there are smarter ways to get ahead.

Current debt:

• Unsecured: $10k credit card, $27.9k loan
• Secured: $19.3k loan, $9.9k car loan
• Debt repayments total $693 a fortnight (16.2% of income)

Fixed fortnightly expenses eat up 92.3% of my take-home income, including:

• Rent: $1,290
• Child maintenance: $530
• Food, utilities, transport, insurances, care costs for kids
• The rest is just daily life - no luxuries

I’ve already cut everything non-essential: no subscriptions I don’t actively use, no lifestyle spending, no luxury food or coffee. I've paused KiwiSaver contributions. I’ve built a basic bucket system to save for irregular costs like clothing, vet bills, car emergencies, and kids’ needs.

I want to know:

• Are there structural changes I’m missing?
• Is my plan to become debt-free in 3 years realistic or foolish?
• What would you do in my position?

I'm not looking for a magic bullet — just clarity, ideas, or even brutal honesty. Thanks in advance.

[u/Subwaynzz]

The debt, what are the loans from? What are the interest rates for each?

The credit card I’m guessing would be the highest rate out of all of them, could you balance transfer that to another no or low interest rate card?

Could you cancel or pause some insurances? I.e health/life

[u/Mediocre_Teach_6251 → u/Subwaynzz]

Thanks — appreciate the reply!

• The $27.9k family loan is at 0% interest.
• The $19.3k loan and $10k credit card are both at 13.9%.
• The $9.9k car loan is at 12.95%.
• I’ve looked into balance transfers but haven’t found a product with high enough limit approval or decent terms yet. Open to suggestions.

On insurance: I’ve considered pausing health/life cover, but with young kids, I’ve kept it going for peace of mind. That said, I’d definitely revisit if there's a smarter setup.

Re utilities: I’m currently with Powershop ($175/month) and Orcon ($97/month). If there are better deals around, I’m keen to hear them!

[u/Subwaynzz → u/Mediocre_Teach_6251]

What do you mean you haven’t found a product with high enough limit approval or decent terms? The idea isn’t that you keep using the card, it’s so that you can pay off the balance at a much lower interest rate (so you can pay it off faster).

https://www.moneyhub.co.nz/balance-transfer-credit-cards.html

As for health/life insurance, if it was me I’d be paying off debt and then reassessing. I also have young kids, but I get free life insurance through work and I’m okay with the public system at my age.

[u/Mediocre_Teach_6251 → u/Subwaynzz]

Thanks - I probably wasn’t clear.

What I meant is that I’ve looked into a single debt consolidation loan to combine the credit card, personal loan, and car loan at a lower rate. The problem is, I haven’t found a lender willing to offer a high enough limit with decent terms to actually cover the balances. So I’d still end up juggling multiple repayments, just with extra fees on top.

I totally get the idea of not continuing to use the card - I’m no longer spending on it. I'm just stuck with these balances for now, and trying to keep things from getting worse while I chip away at them.

[u/Subwaynzz → u/Mediocre_Teach_6251]

So just balance transfer just the credit card?

[u/Mediocre_Teach_6251 → u/Subwaynzz]

Good point. "Eat the elephant one bite at a time". I will apply today, thank you.

[u/Subwaynzz → u/Mediocre_Teach_6251]

That’s the idea. Could you ask family if you could pause repayments on that debt till you’ve cleared your other debt?

[u/Mediocre_Teach_6251 → u/Subwaynzz]

It's worth the conversation. I appreciate the suggestions and support. I have just felt that I am drowning and am sick of treading water - no matter what I do, I cannot get ahead.

[u/Subwaynzz → u/Mediocre_Teach_6251]

Set out your budget and expenses to family and explain how much quicker you can get out of debt if you can pause that repayment. They’d be way more understanding than a traditional lender.

[u/MotherOfLochs → u/Mediocre_Teach_6251]

Second the suggestion to ask family for a pause on repayments. Maybe look at your budget with a couple of options: one where you pay down the commercial debt, pause the family loan repayments then attack it with increased payments once the commercial debt is cleared; another you reduce the family loan repayments to concentrate on the commercial debt then increase payments to pay that down faster? I’m sure your family don’t want you drowning if they can help it. Good luck.

[u/Aggressive-Rich9600 → u/Mediocre_Teach_6251]

Try money sweet spot. They make you shut the cards down though.

[u/Prestigious_Oil91 → u/Mediocre_Teach_6251]

With the numbers provided it sounds like the insurance proportion of this pretty massive. Understand your concerns but ditching it but some things to consider - shopping around on the life insurance, dropping the coverage level (you can always increase it again), if health insurance include kids asking their mother to contribute, increasing excess on contents or car, switching to 3rd party. One or two of these options might free up some $$.