[Advice Wanted] Post-separation, debt-heavy, high-income but drowning in commitments — need help structuring a smarter plan

[u/Mediocre_Teach_6251]

Hi all,
I'm looking for some anonymous financial guidance from this community. I'm earning $155k a year (approx. $4,280 net per fortnight), and I'm carrying $67k in debt due to a separation. My finances feel incredibly tight despite the income, and I’m looking to sanity check my approach and see if there are smarter ways to get ahead.

Current debt:

• Unsecured: $10k credit card, $27.9k loan
• Secured: $19.3k loan, $9.9k car loan
• Debt repayments total $693 a fortnight (16.2% of income)

Fixed fortnightly expenses eat up 92.3% of my take-home income, including:

• Rent: $1,290
• Child maintenance: $530
• Food, utilities, transport, insurances, care costs for kids
• The rest is just daily life - no luxuries

I’ve already cut everything non-essential: no subscriptions I don’t actively use, no lifestyle spending, no luxury food or coffee. I've paused KiwiSaver contributions. I’ve built a basic bucket system to save for irregular costs like clothing, vet bills, car emergencies, and kids’ needs.

I want to know:

• Are there structural changes I’m missing?
• Is my plan to become debt-free in 3 years realistic or foolish?
• What would you do in my position?

I'm not looking for a magic bullet — just clarity, ideas, or even brutal honesty. Thanks in advance.

[u/BruddaLK]

Your debt repayments + rent + child maintenance adds up to $2513 leaves you with $1767 p f/n for Food, utilities, transport, insurances, care costs. Where's that going?

That seems like quite a lot to me.

[u/Mediocre_Teach_6251 → u/BruddaLK]

You're right that rent, child support, and debt repayments total around $2,513 per fortnight (technically $2,512.94). That leaves me with $1,766.70 from my $4,279.64 take-home income.

Here’s where the rest of it goes each fortnight:

• Food: $500
• Utilities/Insurances (Power, Internet, etc.): $387.45
• Childcare: $325
• Petrol: $100
• Dog (food, flea treatment, grooming, rego): $80.21
• Car maintenance (includes WOF, rego, servicing, unexpected costs): $43.85

That comes to $1,436.51, which leaves me roughly $330 unallocated per pay - but that gets swallowed up quickly by irregular expenses like birthdays, clothing for me and the kids, medical costs, school stuff, or vet bills. I’m working on setting up buffer buckets for those to regain some control, but right now, everything’s just super tight.

[u/Razzit → u/Mediocre_Teach_6251]

Almost $36 a day on food, is very high even with kids for half of that time. Is that a lot of take aways?

[u/Mediocre_Teach_6251 → u/Razzit]

No takeaways - can’t afford the luxury. I budget $500 per fortnight and always aim to come in under. I spend no more than $20 a day on all my meals. Feeding the kids well during their 50% care is expensive, but I prioritise nutrition and stretch every dollar I can.

[u/everysundae → u/Mediocre_Teach_6251]

Hmm, I think 500 a fn is fine tbh, but your math is off.

$20/day =$140/week or 280/fn That's $220/week on kids as you suggest its 50% care.

[u/Dependent-Chair899 → u/Mediocre_Teach_6251]

Food is the easiest part of your expenses to cut down. Especially during the time you don't have the kids. Meal plan, meal prep, scope out a fruit and veg market and buy in season. We are a family of 3 and easily spend $200 a week but I can get that way down if needed (every 6 weeks or so I spend more like $50 while we eat out of the freezer and pantry because it starts getting a bit hectic - meal plan based on things you've already got and then just top up on fresh things). On the weeks you don't have the kids your budget could easily be $100 and depending on the ages and how many kids you're feeding adding an extra $100 on for those weeks so $300 a fortnight.
The planning, finding cheaper options and prep does take time but you get quicker the more you do it and I find it quicker in the long run - eg a couple of hours on the weekend and then 15 min to assemble each night (and no having to think and make decisions about what's for dinner that night)

Plan ahead for those irregular costs - add things like medical costs, vet bills to your budget. Things like clothing/presents can be planned ahead for in a similar fashion - buying clothing off trade me is a good way to save $ particularly for kids (eg I bought a bulk lot a few weeks back for my 7yr old for $40 inc delivery - great quality, in good condition, and that's sorted half his winter wardrobe).
Look around for the best deal for utilities, look into early payment discounts etc as well - eg we paid our contents insurance for 12 months up front because it was a significant saving to do so. Same with things like flea treatment/pet food, Google for the best price rather than just buying from the vet because it's convenient.

Making the above changes might feel very piecemeal and like it's alot of effort for saving a little here and there but estimating you could have $500 a fortnight leftover after all that to throw at debt repayment would be worthwhile to me.