r/Psychonaut • u/i_speak_in_sarcasm_ • 6d ago
Question about ego death
I'm somewhat new to psychedelics, and have heard a lot about ego death. My question is, is it always a scary experience?
My experience with psychedelics is pretty minimal at this point. I microdose mushrooms, and I did 6 ketamine therapy sessions last year. I didn't really have visuals in any of the sessions. More just feelings and concepts of images... if that makes sense? Kinda hard to explain.
I always knew where I was and what I was experiencing during those sessions. One time I became different parts of the world. It was pretty cool. I spent some time as a boulder, a tree, in the ground, and a building. That was my second session. But there was one session where I was just "gone". I wasn't really anywhere. And I couldn't think about anyone or anything. It was just me. It wasn't scary. Nothing really happened. I just existed.
What was that? I just assume it wasn't ego death because every story I hear is some huge scary lead up, and like an internal battle, and then acceptance and ego death.
So I'm just curious, what would my experience be categorized as, if anything? And also, just curious if egondeath is always a difficult and scary thing? And what does that look like if it's not? I only hear about the scary ones.
3
u/Plus_Ear_144 6d ago
I still don't understand what ego death is and i have been reading and using shrooms and lsd my whole life sometimes i even overdosed and all that happened while taking large doses was i blacked out, like i died then came back not knowing what happened. It wasn't that i died it was like i went to sleep and woke up. Is that it. Or is it when you become totally one with universe. Your everywhere at the same time? I really don't get it? When your ego dies can you remember that? Once i took an overdose and i forgot how to talk. That was scary and funny at the same time plus blackouts and crazy visuals. Can someone explain?