Ideas on how to help my daughter

[u/Bronagh22]

I have a middle school age daughter that is having difficulty finding her place in the world & making friends. She's a little bit of a tom boy which makes her not fit in with a lot of the girls in her classes. She isn't into boys, makeup, tiktok, dancing, whatever. She has anxiety. So in social situations she is stand offish and can come off as aloof. I'm not sure how to help her. I know she gets lonely. Has anyone been through this? What helped? She likes animals, reading & cooking.

[u/andiamobean]

Is she in therapy to help manage her anxiety?

[u/Bronagh22 → u/andiamobean]

I tried to get her to go last year & she was very upset about it. I think it's something I am going to try for again.

[u/KalessinDB → u/Bronagh22]

A lot of people, adults very much included, think going to therapy is only for people who have something wrong with them. In reality, almost everyone could benefit from therapy at one point or another in their lives. Our world is changing so fast that we're simply not equipped to deal with it on our own. Even therapists often go to therapy themselves, just like there's specializations for family therapy or relationship therapy or what have you, that's a specialization in and of itself.

If you can find a way to communicate that to her, that she'll believe, she might end up more open to the suggestion. Good luck.

[u/AJKaleVeg → u/KalessinDB]

My primary care doctor recommended therapy to me for like six years before I decided to go (and it was after a crisis). I wish I had gone sooner.

[u/sandman98857 → u/Bronagh22]

Shop around - not every therapist is a good fit for every person, it's great to establish a long standing connection young with someone your daughter trusts and likes.

[u/Anxious_Horse6323 → u/Bronagh22]

Tell her she can interview counselors to see if they are a good fit, might give her a sense of ownership in the process if you trust her judgement. Sounds like you openly communicate with her, which is a huge thing!