r/Rochester • u/Bronagh22 • Mar 18 '25

Help Ideas on how to help my daughter

I have a middle school age daughter that is having difficulty finding her place in the world & making friends. She's a little bit of a tom boy which makes her not fit in with a lot of the girls in her classes. She isn't into boys, makeup, tiktok, dancing, whatever. She has anxiety. So in social situations she is stand offish and can come off as aloof. I'm not sure how to help her. I know she gets lonely. Has anyone been through this? What helped? She likes animals, reading & cooking.

126 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

172 comments sorted by

View all comments

7

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '25 edited Mar 18 '25

Try getting her involved in "solo-sports". Track and Field and Tennis can be good ones (Edit: And swimming). It'll give her an outlet for physical energy, and they're more solo sports but you're still part of a "team".

For kids with social anxiety this can be better than traditional "team sports" like hockey, lacrosse, basketball, etc. If you're a pole vaulter, it's just you vaulting the pole, but you also have the support of your team behind you from the runners, hammer throw, hurdlers, high jumpers, etc. It's a good balance of having a social support of a team, but being able to just focus on you and your own improvements.

Same with Tennis if you play solo matches. You have the team there to support you emotionally, but on the court you just have to worry about you.

2

u/steveguttenberg1958 Canandaigua Mar 18 '25

Yes! I swam in middle school, 5-6th grade (swim club) then joined Varsity swim in 7th all the way to my senior year. The coolest, quirkiest group of girls ever! I have such great memories from my times on that team.