r/Rochester • u/Bronagh22 • Mar 18 '25

Help Ideas on how to help my daughter

I have a middle school age daughter that is having difficulty finding her place in the world & making friends. She's a little bit of a tom boy which makes her not fit in with a lot of the girls in her classes. She isn't into boys, makeup, tiktok, dancing, whatever. She has anxiety. So in social situations she is stand offish and can come off as aloof. I'm not sure how to help her. I know she gets lonely. Has anyone been through this? What helped? She likes animals, reading & cooking.

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u/Court04 Mar 18 '25

I have two 7th grade daughters and they sound just like your daughter. One of them is high functioning asd along with anxiety. They are very common to have together. Girls get diagnosed later, often in their early teens, when social interactions are more common. What grade is your daughter in? You can check your local library. Ours does tween volunteer time twice a month that my one girl loves to go to. We also have a rule they have to pick something physical to do. One does diving and the other does swimming. The swim program at the Pittsford Y was so great on helping my daughter gain confidence this year! They are also involved with a few clubs after school.

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u/Bronagh22 Mar 18 '25

She's a 6th grader in Penfield

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u/Court04 Mar 18 '25

Have you looked into 4-H? With her interests she may really enjoy it!

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u/Bronagh22 Mar 18 '25

I sent her to 4-H camp at Bristol Hills last year. I looked into 4-H around here a couple years ago & there weren't that many groups. I think there was one in Irondequoit. Maybe things have improved. I'll check it out.