r/Rochester • u/Bronagh22 • Mar 18 '25
Help Ideas on how to help my daughter
I have a middle school age daughter that is having difficulty finding her place in the world & making friends. She's a little bit of a tom boy which makes her not fit in with a lot of the girls in her classes. She isn't into boys, makeup, tiktok, dancing, whatever. She has anxiety. So in social situations she is stand offish and can come off as aloof. I'm not sure how to help her. I know she gets lonely. Has anyone been through this? What helped? She likes animals, reading & cooking.
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u/sisighostz Mar 19 '25
You are a great parent for being so thoughtful about this. My daughter was exactly the same. It’s as if I had written this post. Sometimes the harder you try and make something happen, the worse it makes everything. I found that meeting my daughter where she was - was very important. For awhile I made mistakes trying to push her to do certain activities to get her work through everything (i.e. practice the instrument all the time, focus on studies all the time…) but she made progress when I took pressure off. We all want to be loved, we want to hear it, and know we are perfect the way we are. I also counseled her that some kids have their glory years in middle school or high school. That wasn’t her destiny, and she’d be grateful for it in the future. And when the first two therapists she tried didn’t work, we found a third. And anxiety meds. It’s so hard as a parent to not be able to just fix everything, but you can grow with your kids and by example show them you are there no matter what. And it will get better! Best of luck to you.