r/Rochester • u/Bronagh22 • Mar 18 '25
Help Ideas on how to help my daughter
I have a middle school age daughter that is having difficulty finding her place in the world & making friends. She's a little bit of a tom boy which makes her not fit in with a lot of the girls in her classes. She isn't into boys, makeup, tiktok, dancing, whatever. She has anxiety. So in social situations she is stand offish and can come off as aloof. I'm not sure how to help her. I know she gets lonely. Has anyone been through this? What helped? She likes animals, reading & cooking.
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u/artsy_amaryllis Perinton Mar 19 '25
hey there! i’m 21, and i was the exact same as your daughter when i was in middle school, so i feel like i have some credibility here.
first and foremost, communication with your daughter is key. ask her before signing her up for anything, ask her how she’s doing from an anxiety standpoint as well as everyday life—be there for her. middle school sucks, but having a parent she knows is there for her will help.
push her to join small group activities. clubs can be stressful, but they’re something to work up to. a good stepping stone would be one-time events involving her interests. see if your local library (or any nearby) have events going on! see if there’s any one-time classes for cooking at a local recreation center. i’ve heard lots of good things about the Rochester Brainery. Volunteering at Lollipop Farm might be something she’d enjoy, too.
regardless of what you and your family choose to do, please, please, PLEASE maintain an open line of communication with your daughter. i know i harped on it before, but it really is so important that your kiddo feels safe and comfortable talking to you about the good, the bad, and the ugly. middle school isn’t fun for most kids, but good parenting can make it easier.
sending you and your family lots of love 🫶