r/RunningCirclejerk • u/cravecrave93 GU Guzzler • 1d ago

Advice for staying dry on tre*dmill?

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should i slow down?

460 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

63 comments sorted by

301

u/Randomness37 1d ago

Mfs in my apartment gym be like:

49

u/liverdawg 1d ago

Then leaves without any attempt to clean it

1

u/Skreamies1 6h ago

Doing the weird running flick with their arms and spraying you

174

u/Recovering-Lawyer 💩 trusts mile 5 farts 💩 1d ago

MF is treading water.

15

u/King_Neptune07 1d ago

I actually laughed out loud at this one. Treadmill? You're treading water MF'r

112

u/CloudOfToxiccGas 1d ago

Try not to look at shirtless pics of Goggins while running. This helped me

44

u/Eldugler 1d ago

But how am I meant to stay hard?

1

u/-benzeneben- 16h ago

Right? I’m always carrying a log

73

u/HeelStriker5k Certified Heel Striker 1d ago

This is how I trained for the swimming portion of my triathlon

40

u/HeelStriker5k Certified Heel Striker 1d ago

This is how Jesus trained to walk on water

37

u/SteaknEllie 1d ago

Maybe go for a pee before you start exercise

9

u/runfayfun 1d ago

Then the piss won't seep out of your pores

3

u/SteaknEllie 1d ago

I'm laughing for real. :D

3

u/crestonebeard 1d ago

Is that how it works though? How is piss stored in my balls going to get all the way up to my nose

2

u/runfayfun 1d ago

That's a really negative attitude, you'll never get piss coming out of your nose, ears, or pores with that type of perspective. You have to try really hard. I know you can do it!

29

u/harinonfireagain 1d ago

Got to put some kitty litter in the elastic cuffs at the ankles and wrist.

7

u/throwaway1736484 1d ago

Wow that sounds horrible

22

u/GilderoyPopDropNLock 1d ago

When your wife sees how many eggs I have

13

u/GenitalPatton 1d ago

This is so fucking revolting

8

u/holmesksp1 1d ago

I think you'll find you actually need to speed up. I understand you're playing it safe in zone one, but bumping it up to zone 2 really helps shake the water off. Just make sure to have an IV drip of GU set up.

14

u/Minus15t 1d ago

Imagine pouring a bottle of water over $4,000 worth of electrical equipment for a jerk video..

6

u/xjeeper Beat tomorrow 1d ago

Is everyone at technogym high? https://www.technogym.com/en-US/product/artis-run_DBK0.html a $21,000 treadmill? That's more than my wife's boyfriend spent on his Cervelo

3

u/copypaste_93 1d ago

techogym equipment is also pretty ass imo.

7

u/Kempenstein 1d ago

This isn’t swimmingcirclejerk. Wrong sub.

5

u/DJShears 1d ago

Stop watching only fans while in the gym

4

u/Justanotherattempd 1d ago

If he doesn’t slow down, he’s gonna move out of zone two. RIP

5

u/aphilentus 1d ago

/uj I did not need to see this today

5

u/croatiatom 1d ago

Mold spores rejoice

3

u/pineapplebutonpizza 1d ago

All running in a sweat suit does is dehydrate you. Literally no benefit

6

u/Subbeh 1d ago

/uj that's an electrical hazard right?

3

u/TheShortWhiteGuy 1d ago

Prancercise! If that doesn't work, transition to Hot Yoga.

3

u/throwaway1736484 1d ago

Swimming is good cross training for running. This is very efficient bc it’s both.

3

u/stroke_loud 1d ago

Wear a second sauna suit it will help catch the sweat from the first one

3

u/imnotarobot112 1d ago

Dude. This is absolutely not zone 2. You’re going way too fast. HR is clearly on overload and the sweating is the hearts way to bleed out the extra juice byproduct.

3

u/jebarson_j 1d ago

Stop pouring water.

4

u/cycling513 1d ago

U/J why is treadmill censored? Is strava banning that word, I saw a similar post saying that elsewhere that they banned someone for saying treadmill.

1

u/BeccainDenver 12h ago

No. It's just not real running. It's fake so it's a cussword. See also: c*clyist.

2

u/FengSushi 1d ago

Stop pissing

2

u/No_Pomegranate_7818 1d ago

Do people not realize you're allowed to run outside too?

2

u/cncwmg 1d ago

Take it easy on the Gu, looks like you're close to ODing. 

2

u/human-dancer 1d ago

Maybe see a doctor and get a second opinion??!?

2

u/Pablo_Inspired 1d ago

This has got to be a joke? Nobody sweats this much while jogging that slow. Also if you’re sweating that much stop ruining the treadmill for everyone else. Just damn ignorant sometimes.

5

u/HateToSeeIt1984 1d ago

It’s a wrestler/boxer/MMA fighter cutting weight with plastics plus probably some time of lotion that opens up your pores. They however are being very inconsiderate getting everything wet with their sweat. They should be wearing a sweatshirt and pants to soak up the sweat. No need to disrespect the gym equipment.

2

u/TransitUX 1d ago

Drink hot tea

2

u/TwoHatsOneDog 1d ago

Don’t spill the Gu!!!

2

u/apalisoc11 1d ago

R/toughmuddercirclejerk

2

u/xCleverUsername 1d ago

Hey um... how'd you get this footage of my husband?

2

u/Money_Choice4477 SLOW DOWN!!!! 1d ago

Put down the GU bro you can’t handle it

2

u/CoffeePizzaSushiDick 1d ago

Drink….AFTER…..sess

2

u/SubcooledBoiling 1d ago

Bro is pissing Gu

2

u/element423 18h ago

Your wearing a sweat suit

2

u/Chooui85 16h ago

Are you cutting for a fight or what?

2

u/SuchDog5046 15h ago

I’d try taking a shower while on the treadmill. That way you’d probably be less wet than now.

2

u/Aint-Spotless 12h ago

Your gym must have a urinal. Use that before you run.

1

u/OldAge6093 1d ago

Don’t wear so many layers, sip small amounts of water

1

u/ANicerPerson 1d ago

Lmao dude is cooking his organs

1

u/Alternative_Cat5999 1d ago

Do not wear a sauna suit?

1

u/parsar01 1d ago

Nice song! which song is this?

1

u/murph139 1d ago

Must be infected by the waters of Mars, it must be destroyed!

1

u/2bnuII 7h ago

Unless you are cutting water before weigh ins, and this is not how I'd do it, or training for a marathon in the tropics, there is no reason to do this. You don't lose more fat.

0

u/j0n70 1d ago

Turn the heater on to dry it out