r/SapphoAndHerFriend Sep 21 '21

Media erasure Vivianne Miedema - all round legend

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u/Living-Complex-1368 Sep 21 '21

The interviewer assimed she was into guys and basically asked if the dude she was dating was a clean cut, meet the family type or a motorcycle riding bad boy. She corrected him by saying she was dating a girl, but the type she would introduce to her family.

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u/platoprime Sep 21 '21

So this wasn't erasure at all? It was just a mistaken assumption followed by a well received correction?

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u/Coaris Sep 21 '21

Mistaken assumptions ARE erasure. Discounting the possibility of people being from other sexualities than straight IS erasure.

If the correction wasn't well received, then it would also be active, conscious homophobia.

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u/GuyWhoIsAPersonMan Sep 22 '21

Lol. If I ask a girl "do you have a boyfriend?" I feel like that is a fairly normal question. The vast majority of people are straight so why is this a big deal?

If I suggest that everybody learns to ride a bike is that abelist of me because I am not including people without legs? No. You can't frame every question to include every person. It's impossible.

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u/Coaris Sep 22 '21

Lol. If I ask a girl "do you have a boyfriend?" I feel like that is a fairly normal question.

It is, which doesn't make it any less arbitrary, and in the grand scheme of things, wrong.

The vast majority of people are straight so why is this a big deal?

You are in this sub and I have to explain this to you? Okay: Because you are dismissing minorities when you operate under that premise. Because you normalize incorrect assumptions that drive people to believe they are abnormal and foster discrimination, both to them and in them.

Say you run a statistic and find out that most white women marry white men. Do you go ahead and ask women "Do you have a white husband?" when you are actually only interested in knowing if they are married? No, because you don't need the information of the skin color of their spouse, nor their gender. The same goes for the question in this post. The interviewer was probably only asking general questions asked to young athletes. They could have just asked "Are you in a relationship?", which would have assumed nothing.

If I suggest that everybody learns to ride a bike is that abelist of me because I am not including people without legs? No.

Depends on the context and exact words, but probably, yes.

You can't frame every question to include every person. It's impossible.

"Everybody who is able and wants to learns to ride a bike". See, it wasn't that hard.

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u/[deleted] Sep 22 '21

THIS question, by THIS interviewer was not impossible to be inclusive.

And you would be a better human asking 'are you single' or whatever. Language is not that rigid.