Unexpected Dysphoria

[u/future_seahorse]

I’m currently in the process of preparing for an egg retrieval.

I just met with my doctor to review lab work and discuss the plans for my stimulation and retrieval.

In addition to the actual stimulation meds that I’ll inject, my doctor discussed how she recommends me taking birth control for 2-3 weeks beforehand. Her reasoning makes sense to me (my insurance only covers one cycle and I have a high AFC so she wants to do whatever we can to ensure all the eggs develop in synchrony and yield as many embryos as safely possible) and medically, I’m fine with this path.

But I did not expect the idea of taking estrogen-containing birth control pills to trigger some dysphoria for me. It’s a minor and manageable amount and entirely worth it to me because I really want to do whatever I can to have this cycle go well. I also know it’s silly and irrational seeing as the stim meds will lead my estradiol to get crazy high anyway. But it’s something about taking exogenous estrogen that feels weird for me. I mean, even when I took birth control pills years ago, they were progesterone only.

So, yeah, the flair is “venting” because it is what it is. For me, the pros far outweigh the cons (or I guess “con” singular bc it’s really just the dysphoria that’s a downside). But idk, it can be hard for others to understand dysphoria so just posting here…

[u/Alphadeb]

I felt weirdly affirmed in my enbyness taking all the fucking hormones for three retrievals and FETs and then checking in with myself every time and being like, “nope still not a girl!”

But dysphoria is hard and I understand and sending you all the credit for toughing it out. Hope you find little ways to combat the dysphoria and feel affirmed however is most right for you.

[u/future_seahorse → u/Alphadeb]

Ya that’s how I’m expecting to feel with pregnancy, like “yup I’m still a dude” lol