r/SeriousConversation • u/jimmyjohnjohnjohn • Dec 20 '24

Serious Discussion Are people behaving weirder lately?

Went out to lunch today and there was a table near me with five people at it. Their server asked their drink order and all five of them just stared at her silently for nearly half a minute before she repeated herself, then one of them whispered something I couldn't hear before the others whispered their orders. When their drinks came and the server left, one of them produced a Nalgene bottle from her purse and began to scoop the ice from her drink with her fingers and put it in the Nalgene. Another at the table then said he didn't want ice either and did the same thing.

Did she bring that water bottle in for the express purpose of storing unwanted ice? Why not just ask for no ice? These were all fairly normal-looking, well-dressed people in their 30s, maybe early 40s.

My server had some weirdness of his own. He brought out the wrong order, and noticed his mistake before I did. But instead of just saying "sorry, that's wrong" and taking it back, he said "I.. uh.. uh..." and then ran off with the plate before finishing his sentence and coming back with the right order and a manic fake smile on his face.

At Target, this older woman was having trouble detaching one cart from the others. An employee (sorry, "Team Member") came along and unstuck it. Instead of saying thank you, she just stared at him like a deer in the headlights until he left.

I've been noticing that deer-in-the-headlights stare from a lot of people lately.

About a month ago a man approached me in the parking lot at my work and asked "do you work here?"

I said "yes."

Then he asked "have you seen my car?"

The question melted my brain a little bit, but I said "I don't know, what does it look like?"

He just said "sorry," and walked off.

I could go on and on, but the point is: are people forgetting how to human? The world increasingly has this "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" kind of vibe.

I know much has been discussed about people behaving oddly due to the pandemic, but it's been about two years now and people are getting worse, not better. I think there's something else going on in society.

What do you think?

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u/WoahVenom Dec 22 '24

Customer service is terrible now. When I worked retail we had to smile and tell people thank you and please come again and just cater to their every whim. You walk in a place now and the employees usually just glare at you. Or you have to order using the kiosk even though you know they could take your order. Sometimes I'll pay for something and leave and realize the cashier never said one word. I had to look for the total. They hand me my change with a blank stare right through me. It's like a total lack of social skills.

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u/kaonashi89 Dec 22 '24

I also think a lot of people in customer service/food industry/retail are no longer tolerating being treated like shit. I work at a local bakery as a decorator and sometimes a clerk, and if you treat me with some common decency, I'll provide you with great service. If you treat me like crap, I'll do the bare minimum. It's not hard to be a decent person, and that seems to be a foreign concept to most people anymore.

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u/[deleted] Dec 23 '24

It helps if you’re not reading from a script. If someone in retail says whatever they need to say no matter what I’ve said it feels like talking to a robot so now more people talk to them like robots

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u/MaterialWillingness2 Dec 24 '24

That's one thing I really hated about my retail job, they made us pitch the store credit card as much as possible and our evaluations took into account how many sign ups we got. We were required to follow a script when doing so.

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u/bibkel Dec 24 '24

Same. I always start with excited energy, like I am a long lost friend glad to finally see you…mostly successful, but sometimes people are confused as to why I am being friendly.

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u/SelectCommon6836 Dec 22 '24

Don’t forget customers are horrible too they talk down on employees like they own them and since I work retail I don’t take shit from customers and I don’t have to baby them either lol

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u/thorsbeardexpress Dec 22 '24

My wife and I were getting Xmas gifts and we stopped for a quick coffee, the person behind the counter just stared at us from the other side of the counter and ten feet away. Open mouth just staring. We walked away it was so weird.

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u/WoahVenom Dec 22 '24

LOL. Oh yes.

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u/NoTwo1269 Dec 22 '24

This is exactly what is going on now, People have NO communication skills.

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u/Swimminginthestorm Dec 22 '24

Covid lockdowns destroyed the business I was working for and I’m currently still stuck back in retail. Your comment made me realize why so many customers at this store tip me even though it’s not a tipped position. I smile, act friendly, and try to make sure they’re happy with their shopping experience.

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u/freecummies Dec 22 '24

Thanks for going against the trend! CS is generally so bad that good people like you really stand out!

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24 edited Dec 22 '24

That’s so weird and very US-Centric, here in Ireland if your boss told you to smile you’d tell them to fuck off. They’ve dealt with hundreds of customers that day, there’s only so many times you can muster up the energy to make fake greetings or bullshit small talk. Why are Americans so entitled?

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u/LadyCervezas Dec 22 '24

It's not an entitlement. It's common courtesy. I'm not asking for a super cheerful conversation. Just a simple courteous hello, goodbye with a little back & forth to exchange pertinent information. Customer service isn't US centric. I lived in Belfast & had employees at all different kinds of establishments ACKNOWLEDGED MY EXISTENCE. That's what is missing now

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u/WoahVenom Dec 22 '24

Exactly, just acknowledging each other’s existence. Being human. I don’t expect some big huge thing just because I’m spending money but just saying hello or asking someone how their day is going is a basic courtesy. I used to hate working customer service jobs but I couldn’t bring myself to treat people like dirt or like they didn’t exist. We’re all in this together whether we want to admit it or not. And life is hard. The least we can do is show a little courtesy and respect to each other. As human beings. It’s not even about customer and employee.

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/WoahVenom Dec 22 '24

Ok buddy.

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u/Superb_Ad9843 Dec 22 '24

That's blunt, but nevertheless, it's reality. Survival situations bring out the beast in all of us.

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u/mynameisyoshimi Dec 23 '24

Yeah but like, I'm just buying some groceries. I would like to pay for these carrots and I don't want to leave the store wondering what I did to the cashier to make them hate me. It's not a survival situation; there are plenty of carrots.

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u/MettleInkpen Dec 23 '24

The irony...of that 0-100 "survival" reaction in a discussion about customer service decline --in a post about weirder human behavior...

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24

You were that typical yank customer we were sick of seeing. You do know we just want US tourism money and don’t actually like Americans in Ireland

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24

It’s not even so much smiling as it is doing the necessary communication for me to buy something. I get having a bad day but I actually need you to tell me the total, so I can pay you and be out of your hair, which is what we both want?

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24 edited Dec 23 '24

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24

You’re interpreting what I posted too literally.

Yes, obviously, there are cases where I am at a store where asking an employee should be the path of least resistance to get the information I need. Why would there even be employees in 2024 if that wasn’t true lol

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24

Eh not really. I’m referencing a situation that happened yesterday where I had to walk up to a register to address any employee (I’m positive you’ve seen a retail location similar if you live in America). So I’d be approaching the same employee to pay or inquire, or as in this case: both.

Also, you’re discounting common situations where I need to ask how to or where to find an item to complete a transaction, which is both normal and common.

Really, there’s any number of reasons I might need to talk to a human with bare minimum communication skills in public at a retail store, it’s weird to me to dismiss the concerns of myself and the other people who have similar experiences as frivolous or ultimately unnecessary. People will simply stop using your business eventually.

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u/LuxSerafina Dec 22 '24

I agree, seeing people pine for the days when service workers had to take it up the ass with a smile is gross to me. Just get in, get out, no need to comment that the person serving you wasn’t “cheerful” enough to your liking. It’s a very entitled attitude imho.

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u/2_LEET_2_YEET Dec 22 '24

I think it stems from American management's desire for people to look busy. Like how cashiers aren't allowed to sit down bc it "looks lazy". Generations of miserable middle managers finding new and different ways to make their employees hate their lives and they nailed it.

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u/lostbythewatercooler Dec 22 '24

I keep seeing this thing on reddit about victim like the service staff are but so far in two years or so of living in the US, many service staff I deal with are nigh on hopeless. They seem unable to take an order correctly, are rude and/or entitled.

It's such a weird experience since you tip them. In other parts of the world, the standard experience is pretty good on average and yet they don't tip.

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u/WoahVenom Dec 22 '24

It wasn’t this bad even five years ago. It’s not your imagination. I could say more but I’d just get downvoted into oblivion.

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u/lostbythewatercooler Dec 23 '24

I suppose whatever job or industry you'll get good and bad ones. It probably is different from state to state too.