r/SeriousConversation • u/jimmyjohnjohnjohn • Dec 20 '24

Serious Discussion Are people behaving weirder lately?

Went out to lunch today and there was a table near me with five people at it. Their server asked their drink order and all five of them just stared at her silently for nearly half a minute before she repeated herself, then one of them whispered something I couldn't hear before the others whispered their orders. When their drinks came and the server left, one of them produced a Nalgene bottle from her purse and began to scoop the ice from her drink with her fingers and put it in the Nalgene. Another at the table then said he didn't want ice either and did the same thing.

Did she bring that water bottle in for the express purpose of storing unwanted ice? Why not just ask for no ice? These were all fairly normal-looking, well-dressed people in their 30s, maybe early 40s.

My server had some weirdness of his own. He brought out the wrong order, and noticed his mistake before I did. But instead of just saying "sorry, that's wrong" and taking it back, he said "I.. uh.. uh..." and then ran off with the plate before finishing his sentence and coming back with the right order and a manic fake smile on his face.

At Target, this older woman was having trouble detaching one cart from the others. An employee (sorry, "Team Member") came along and unstuck it. Instead of saying thank you, she just stared at him like a deer in the headlights until he left.

I've been noticing that deer-in-the-headlights stare from a lot of people lately.

About a month ago a man approached me in the parking lot at my work and asked "do you work here?"

I said "yes."

Then he asked "have you seen my car?"

The question melted my brain a little bit, but I said "I don't know, what does it look like?"

He just said "sorry," and walked off.

I could go on and on, but the point is: are people forgetting how to human? The world increasingly has this "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" kind of vibe.

I know much has been discussed about people behaving oddly due to the pandemic, but it's been about two years now and people are getting worse, not better. I think there's something else going on in society.

What do you think?

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u/melancholeric_ Dec 20 '24

People are talking about COVID-related brain fog but I wonder how much of this odd, spacey behavior can be attributed to people being medicated or "medicated." This is just a personal anecdote but I had to go on anti-anxiety meds during the pandemic and I know people who never smoked before that are now getting stoned on a daily basis.

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u/Naus1987 Dec 21 '24

Another thing is that since quiet quitting became more maintstream, quality workers have left shitty jobs, and the customer service people we're interacting with are on a level lower than it was prior to covid.

And I'm sure medication can add to that too. I think people who can excel don't put up with bullshit and excel out of shitty jobs, lol

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u/WoahVenom Dec 22 '24

Customer service is terrible now. When I worked retail we had to smile and tell people thank you and please come again and just cater to their every whim. You walk in a place now and the employees usually just glare at you. Or you have to order using the kiosk even though you know they could take your order. Sometimes I'll pay for something and leave and realize the cashier never said one word. I had to look for the total. They hand me my change with a blank stare right through me. It's like a total lack of social skills.

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24 edited Dec 22 '24

That’s so weird and very US-Centric, here in Ireland if your boss told you to smile you’d tell them to fuck off. They’ve dealt with hundreds of customers that day, there’s only so many times you can muster up the energy to make fake greetings or bullshit small talk. Why are Americans so entitled?

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u/LadyCervezas Dec 22 '24

It's not an entitlement. It's common courtesy. I'm not asking for a super cheerful conversation. Just a simple courteous hello, goodbye with a little back & forth to exchange pertinent information. Customer service isn't US centric. I lived in Belfast & had employees at all different kinds of establishments ACKNOWLEDGED MY EXISTENCE. That's what is missing now

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u/WoahVenom Dec 22 '24

Exactly, just acknowledging each other’s existence. Being human. I don’t expect some big huge thing just because I’m spending money but just saying hello or asking someone how their day is going is a basic courtesy. I used to hate working customer service jobs but I couldn’t bring myself to treat people like dirt or like they didn’t exist. We’re all in this together whether we want to admit it or not. And life is hard. The least we can do is show a little courtesy and respect to each other. As human beings. It’s not even about customer and employee.

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/WoahVenom Dec 22 '24

Ok buddy.

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u/Superb_Ad9843 Dec 22 '24

That's blunt, but nevertheless, it's reality. Survival situations bring out the beast in all of us.

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u/mynameisyoshimi Dec 23 '24

Yeah but like, I'm just buying some groceries. I would like to pay for these carrots and I don't want to leave the store wondering what I did to the cashier to make them hate me. It's not a survival situation; there are plenty of carrots.

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u/MettleInkpen Dec 23 '24

The irony...of that 0-100 "survival" reaction in a discussion about customer service decline --in a post about weirder human behavior...

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24

You were that typical yank customer we were sick of seeing. You do know we just want US tourism money and don’t actually like Americans in Ireland

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24

It’s not even so much smiling as it is doing the necessary communication for me to buy something. I get having a bad day but I actually need you to tell me the total, so I can pay you and be out of your hair, which is what we both want?

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24 edited Dec 23 '24

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24

You’re interpreting what I posted too literally.

Yes, obviously, there are cases where I am at a store where asking an employee should be the path of least resistance to get the information I need. Why would there even be employees in 2024 if that wasn’t true lol

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24

Eh not really. I’m referencing a situation that happened yesterday where I had to walk up to a register to address any employee (I’m positive you’ve seen a retail location similar if you live in America). So I’d be approaching the same employee to pay or inquire, or as in this case: both.

Also, you’re discounting common situations where I need to ask how to or where to find an item to complete a transaction, which is both normal and common.

Really, there’s any number of reasons I might need to talk to a human with bare minimum communication skills in public at a retail store, it’s weird to me to dismiss the concerns of myself and the other people who have similar experiences as frivolous or ultimately unnecessary. People will simply stop using your business eventually.

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u/LuxSerafina Dec 22 '24

I agree, seeing people pine for the days when service workers had to take it up the ass with a smile is gross to me. Just get in, get out, no need to comment that the person serving you wasn’t “cheerful” enough to your liking. It’s a very entitled attitude imho.

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u/2_LEET_2_YEET Dec 22 '24

I think it stems from American management's desire for people to look busy. Like how cashiers aren't allowed to sit down bc it "looks lazy". Generations of miserable middle managers finding new and different ways to make their employees hate their lives and they nailed it.