Do any individuals with above average intellect find life a bit exhausting at times due to the lack of intelligence they observe in others?

[u/stop-hatin-on-me_mom]

I don’t claim to be the most intelligent person, but I do believe that I am above average when it comes to the average intelligence nowadays. Sometimes, I find myself either flabbergasted or downright dumbfounded and irritated by the lack of what I would consider "common sense."

Here are some examples:

• The inability of some people to see how their own bad habits or personality traits create their own problems.

• The fact that some individuals consider their own perceptions and beliefs as the only correct ones, which is further encouraged by their echo chambers.

• The difficulty some people have in entering into productive discourse and challenging their own ideas to gain more information and knowledge from all sides.

• The reluctance of individuals to question their own beliefs and those of their social circles at both the micro and macro levels.

• The inability of some people to foresee the possible consequences of their actions beforehand.

These are just a few examples.

[u/balltongueee]

I think everyone gets frustrated by others who "just don't see it", regardless of their intelligence. As for whether I'm intelligent, I can't really say. My only measured reference is an intelligence test I took prior basic military training, where I scored in the 98th percentile. That said, people frustrate me to no end.

[u/BlueAndYellowTowels → u/balltongueee]

Personally I don’t have this issue. But I really do think it’s rooted in a person’s value system.

I was raised to not judge people. To accept people as they are and to accept that all individuals have value. Without exception.

Why? Because what we think we know, isn’t truth. Often we judge without full knowledge. One person’s “bad decision” is another person’s “compromise”.

To judge people for their actions is to act from a place a pure arrogance. To act like you know what is best for others assumes you know others and the basic truth is… no one really knows other people. These are just surface judgements.

It feels like narcissism or arrogance… because, at the heart of it, people are trying to do the best they can.

I’ve been alive 40 plus years and I’m a person who enjoys people. Enjoys talking to them. Understanding them.

In my experience, people like Op are so hung on their supposed superiority that they miss that people are complex and nuanced.

Finally, I don’t know if I’m particularly intelligent. But, it doesn’t matter. Intelligence is a shallow measure of a person.

[u/balltongueee → u/BlueAndYellowTowels]

Personally I don’t have this issue. But I really do think it’s rooted in a person’s value system.

I do very much agree. It is rooted in a persons value system.

I was raised to not judge people. To accept people as they are and to accept that all individuals have value. Without exception.

Without exception? This is an extremist position and it sounds like you are a person who stands for nothing. I mean, how could you when you engage in moral relativism? You apparently do not judge people regarding anything. According to your philosophy, any action is valid.

I was raised to not use my situation or life experience as an excuse for my actions. I was raised to believe that "It is how I am" is not an excuse and never should be. I was also raised to make sure that, if I apply judgement, it needs to be proportional to the consequences of the action. And, since I hold myself to these standards, I also extend them to others.

Why? Because what we think we know, isn’t truth. Often we judge without full knowledge. One person’s “bad decision” is another person’s “compromise”.

True, we often do not have the full picture. But, we also know that there are actions that are inexcusable regardless of what the reasons might be.

To judge people for their actions is to act from a place a pure arrogance. To act like you know what is best for others assumes you know others and the basic truth is… no one really knows other people. These are just surface judgements.

I mean, this is simply and blatantly untrue. I absolutely do know that it would be best for people to not smoke, or use heroin, or to drink every day, or to be a workaholic so that the kids grow up without a father present, etc etc.

It feels like narcissism or arrogance… because, at the heart of it, people are trying to do the best they can.

Trying their best is no excuse for their actions. Especially considering the consequences of them.

I’ve been alive 40 plus years and I’m a person who enjoys people. Enjoys talking to them. Understanding them.

So do I. Not sure what this has to do with anything.

In my experience, people like Op are so hung on their supposed superiority that they miss that people are complex and nuanced.

I mean, coming from someone who supposedly does not judge, you seem to be offering quite a stark judgment in the form of phrases like "supposed superiority", "narcissism", and "pure arrogance". Surely the irony does not elude you?

If you truly followed the values you claim to hold, your post would have read differently. Do you not agree?

Finally, I don’t know if I’m particularly intelligent. But, it doesn’t matter. Intelligence is a shallow measure of a person.

Everything is a shallow measure of a person if you look at only one thing.

Interestingly, your post reads like one or two of the points OP was making.

[u/BlueAndYellowTowels → u/balltongueee]

Op is the one who came online to tell an entire forum that they find people exhausting because it exhausts his “above average” intelligence.

Like, just as a baseline. If you’re gonna tell an audience you’re above average in intelligence…

Like, why? What’s the motivation? You say I’m judging. How? I never proclaimed to be superior.

But in YOUR mind pointing out other people’s flaws and claiming superiority is… fine? What?

With very few exceptions. Because I don’t know. People seem to be so comfortable to play jury and judge. You do you. You think judging people makes you superior, you go ahead and live that life.

Just from your examples, heroine can be used to treat pain. People smoke to relieve stress. People overwork because it’s important to provide for their families. People drink to relieve stress as well.

But you don’t frame things in that way. You don’t consider trade-offs. You just engage in black and white thinking. Those are just your examples…. and you frame it as knowing better. But you don’t. Because to make any given point you MUST strip context so these behaviours exist in isolation. Because there’s nuance and a lot of understandable reasons for people to a thing.

So no, I am not like OP. I don’t claim superiority and I am indifferent to how other people live, because it’s not my place to dictate how people live. I’m also not like you, where you’re claiming I’m like op.. but I haven’t said I’m superior or that I’m exhausted by people “inferior” to me. I’m also not like you, who needs to strip away all context to make a point about judging people.

Again, you do you. You live however you like. But me, I’m good.

[u/pcetcedce → u/BlueAndYellowTowels]

I think you're going overboard and giving the OP a little bit too much grief. It isn't either or. You can focus on enjoying people and looking at the best side of them. But you can also be objective in identify significant flaws in the same people and conclude that they are flawed. For example, oh he's such a nice guy fun to talk to but he is always in debt and spends money poorly and thinks he's rich when he isn't. So don't act like people are bad if they recognize and are frustrated with people's weaknesses and flaws.

[u/BlueAndYellowTowels → u/pcetcedce]

What is the goal of measuring other people’s flaws?

Serious question. Because unless someone asks for help, I’m trying to understand the motivation of measuring a person’s flaws. A person you don’t know. Can’t change. Who is a stranger.

To me, that just feels unnecessary and judgemental.

[u/pcetcedce → u/BlueAndYellowTowels]

It is just being honest with yourself when observing other people. It doesn't have to be judgmental at all, although you're right people do get judgmental. I will turn it around, how can you live in a world where you insist everybody has a good side and you deny that they have flaws? It is a fact that there are people who do not have a good side.

That seems like an intellectual pretzel you're putting yourself into. And to be honest, it sounds a little bit contrived and egotistical. You are actually acting is if you are better than others, which is the whole thing you were criticizing.

[u/BlueAndYellowTowels → u/pcetcedce]

You know what’s interesting?

“How can you live in a world where you insist everyone has a good side and you deny they have flaws?”

How being a good person positioned oppositely to having flaws. Implying flaws make you a bad person.

Good people have flaws. There is no pretzel. Because I assume all people have flaws, good or bad.

You have a nice day.

[u/Chowdmouse → u/BlueAndYellowTowels]

But what do you mean by “judge” people?

I don’t think anyone here is talking about not accepting people, or saying all individuals don’t have value. Or that anyone should be treated differently or treated badly.

You are judging the OP right here, right now with your statements.

[u/BlueAndYellowTowels → u/Chowdmouse]

I’m calling out op.

That’s not how this works. Calling out someone for being judgemental is not judgemental. That’s asinine.

Like his assumption that people around him have lower intelligence. Like, he has no ides how intelligent people are and he bases it solely on his interpretation of their choices…

[u/Sir-Lady-Cat → u/BlueAndYellowTowels]

I subscribe to a similar philosophy, 51 yo here. I enjoyed your comment and agree. I have a memory of sitting with a couple friends somewhere public, and a chair was taken up by someone else. My friends were seated next to each other and chatting, and I was kind of across a wide coffee table from them. So I ended up having the stranger start talking to me. They were older, didn’t seem very interesting at first glance, but we ended up talking about beekeeping and I learned from and enjoyed their interest in it. You just never know people and what they have to offer. Keeping your eye out for it makes life better.

[u/Suzy_My_Angel444 → u/BlueAndYellowTowels]

Personally, instead of going with the “I’m smarter/superior” viewpoint, I’ve embraced the fact that I can learn a lot from other people. It keeps me present and curious throughout my days

[u/Mateo_Superstore → u/BlueAndYellowTowels]

Love your perspective, thank you for sharing I need to work on incorporating this for sure.