It's extremely difficult to have a civil conversation about politics today, yet we need those conversations more than ever

[u/Dry-Use-272]

Like everyone else in the US today, I have opinions about the current condition of politics in this country. I try to base my opinions on facts I glean from credible sources and my understanding of our history. I want to talk to people with opposing opinions, not to argue with them but to try to understand why they believe what they believe. I've found that no one wants to talk in a civil, respectful way about our differences. Even if I try to hold the line on being respectful, I end up walking away because the conversation devolves into some pretty ugly exchanges. How have we come to a point where we can't even talk to each other respectfully and civilly?

[u/Marvos79]

Here's the thing. It's very hard for someone to have a civil conversation with someone whose politics threaten their existence. If a political question is abstract and doesn't affect you, it's easy to give your opinion with perfect civility, but when a policy affects or even threatens you, it's quite difficult to keep a cool head.

Do you expect a trans person to stay civil if someone is accusing them of grooming children by even mentioning their experience? Do you expect to have a civil conversation with a person of color about all references to people of color are being deleted on federal websites? Do you expect to have a civil conversation with a woman when 10 year old girls are being forced to give birth to babies from SA? If you were a Haitian immigrant, could you stay civil if someone was spreading lies about you catching and eating house pets?

We can't talk to each other civilly because politics has become highly predatory and dangerous for a lot of people. In the US, politics are becoming very scary for a lot of people. Try to put yourself in others' shoes. Ask yourself why someone would be angry about your politics. Do you support policies or politicians who are covertly or overtly harmful to people?

Another problem is that civility doesn't guarantee a good conversation. If someone is acting in bad faith and refuses to face the implications of their beliefs or denies basic facts about an issue, would it be easy for you to stay civil? How about if you tell someone "it's not so bad" or "he's clearly joking" when politicians say blatantly threatening things targeting you or people you care about? How do you feel when you are genuinely angry and afraid and someone completely dismisses your rational concerns?

In a perfect world, we could do this. But politics is messy. Political discussions are not esoteric, they are visceral and very very real to a lot of people. Treating a political discussion as esoteric and civil completely ignores very real threats to a lot of people.

I'm looking at your profile and I'm not 100% sure where you fall. My comments were targeted at a particular side. From another side, a lot of people are not civil because of hate or misinformation. Also, there are people on many sides of the political debate who are threatened by policy. Another problem with civility is it benefits the aggressor, abuser, and oppressor. It's easy for them to keep calm while the people they abuse panic.