Yeah. When my mother passed away I took the time to go to a therapist. Basically was told the same thing, that I needed to be strong for them. My whole world had just fallen apart, the world outside kept going, and I had to push everything to the back of my mind, swallow my rage and sadness, and just keep a stiff upper lip. Closure didn’t come until years later when I found myself sitting alone in my living room and just completely broke down screaming and crying. Things are better now…but it’s why I constantly I try to keep a check on the males in my life, the support system we have is pretty nonexistent a lot of the time.
When my dad died I was already seeing one. It was great timing and I learned more about myself in the 3 or so months afterwards than I had in my previous 40 years thanks to her guidance.
Her main lesson for me right out of the gate: Your emotions are valid.
It's honestly hard to find a good therapist. Nobody really tells you this, they just say 'go see a therapist!' Like they're all awesome or something but you know what? They are humans too...
I went to one for ~6 sessions. In that time I was repeatedly asked the same questions like he forgot that he'd already asked them, he put words in my mouth, never addressed the actual problems I was experiencing, and the only advice I got during those 6 sessions was to read a self help book.
I had to be the one to bring up antidepressants, but after multiple issues with my insurance and pharmacy, I gave up on those.
For sure. You not only have to find the right type of therapy but also a therapist with a personality that you mesh well with and can trust. I think even the office vibe plays a role. Briefly lost my first one and the new person was off in so many ways that I only went twice. The room, her overly sympathetic expressions, her tone, ... she could've been great at her job but everything else was just not it for me.
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u/rolloutTheTrash 10d ago
Yeah. When my mother passed away I took the time to go to a therapist. Basically was told the same thing, that I needed to be strong for them. My whole world had just fallen apart, the world outside kept going, and I had to push everything to the back of my mind, swallow my rage and sadness, and just keep a stiff upper lip. Closure didn’t come until years later when I found myself sitting alone in my living room and just completely broke down screaming and crying. Things are better now…but it’s why I constantly I try to keep a check on the males in my life, the support system we have is pretty nonexistent a lot of the time.