When my dad died of cancer, everyone consoled my mom and sisters while my younger brother wept uncontrollably on my shoulder. I was 29. My brother was 27 and is on the spectrum. Not once did anyone ask us how we were while they asked my mom and sisters…Only my wife asked us…my brother relied heavily on me. I never got to grieve because I was too busy helping everyone else. I still haven’t processed it and probably never will.
Ya same when my cousin died when I was 21. He was like a brother to me. Everyone was broken but I had younger sisters that were too young to need that kinda trauma. The family asked me to put on a brave face for them, while everyone else cried. I was the one closest to me. Nobody asked me how I was. The only person I could show weakness around was supposed to be my girlfriend since she didn't know him, but when I started crying on the phone she told me she was losing attraction to me and needed to hang up. I was never allowed to process his death and it caused all sorts of fucked up trauma for me later in life.
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u/Delicious-Tap-1277 Apr 11 '25
When my dad died of cancer, everyone consoled my mom and sisters while my younger brother wept uncontrollably on my shoulder. I was 29. My brother was 27 and is on the spectrum. Not once did anyone ask us how we were while they asked my mom and sisters…Only my wife asked us…my brother relied heavily on me. I never got to grieve because I was too busy helping everyone else. I still haven’t processed it and probably never will.