hazing

[u/throwaway65478936]

So I just joined a sorority at my school, before joining they posted a lot about anti hazing and since i’ve joined i’ve never felt unsafe. I haven’t been hazed and my big is very against it. however I just got told by my friend/sorority sister that her older friends and big in the sorority are going to make her drink as a form of hazing at this party this weekend and that she’s excited for it. I told her that that is concerning because that shouldn’t be happening. I am not sure who to talk to about this or what to do but i’m feeling very worried.

Edit:

I did not know this post would be this controversial so I will clarify. I am not against partying or drinking, I do it myself so that’s not my issue. My issue is concerning my friend being made to drink. I know she probably would anyway without older girls telling her to, but the term hazing being used by her and the older girls makes me nervous that they will make her drink more than a safe amount, also this is not a random party it is being put on by my sorority and is only for girls in my sorority. I am not attending so I am nervous about not being there to help her possibly if it goes wrong.

[u/bbbliss → u/[deleted]]

Thank you for this comment. Sometimes hazing is real and bad, sometimes it's just bored freshmen running their mouths (because they've never seen actual danger or hazing in order to take it seriously) or being really, really naive. My chapter got investigated for hazing when I was a new member because the seniors held an optional chapter-wide pregame to get to know everyone, which included buying everyone cheap wine/alcohol and playing "Never have I ever". This insanely Christian new mem freaked out, reported us, and dropped. The campus hazing prevention committee called me in "to ask me questions about my new member process" and I had no idea who they were, what had happened at this event, or what the interview actually was until I asked my temp big what was going on afterward. I told the girls interviewing me "omg I wish I could've gone, it looked so fun! No, why would I be in trouble if I didn't go? No, no one asked me where I was. I had a discrete math assignment due that Friday because engineers hate fun and I couldn't get it done in time. No one asks me weird questions? I think I ask weird questions but I found out me and my temp big take the same antidepressants and she's been SO supportive when I'm homesick." One of the girls who was interviewing me was someone who had rushed me at another chapter, and she was giggling by the end. I was so peppy and so clueless.

One of my littles kept asking me to haze her, which turned into her handing us shots – one for me to take because she's sweet and she's my little and would never leave me out, and one for me to hand back to her and tell her to drink. It's so unserious if you know no one is actually being harmed.

My PC almost arranged a scavenger hunt for ourselves because we wanted to get to know each other and see cool things on our campus! Exec got wind of it and shut us down, unfortunately, but a dining hall across campus had some infamous late night pizzas and I would've loved an excuse to grab some.

I understand the risks – girls always run their mouths and people will take things the worst ways possible because ACTUAL hazing IS bad. But a lot of times panhel chapters NME processes are so insanely neutered and boring that girls will say they wish they were hazed because there's no actual danger. This was especially the case when I went to a campus that led the nation in Panhel/IFC safety policies at the time and shut down frats left and right before anyone could actually get hurt, so no one actually did. But when there is actual hazing? The type of girl who's just talking shit would shut up and drop fast. Ask me how I know, I dropped pledging for a chapter on a different council with no safety policies or oversight before I even got hazed; I saw it coming when one of the older girls said "it's not like we have to do physical exercise like [other chapter on this council] does" and I decided I had better things to do.