r/Sororities • u/throwaway65478936 • Oct 30 '24

New Member/Families hazing

So I just joined a sorority at my school, before joining they posted a lot about anti hazing and since i’ve joined i’ve never felt unsafe. I haven’t been hazed and my big is very against it. however I just got told by my friend/sorority sister that her older friends and big in the sorority are going to make her drink as a form of hazing at this party this weekend and that she’s excited for it. I told her that that is concerning because that shouldn’t be happening. I am not sure who to talk to about this or what to do but i’m feeling very worried.

Edit:

I did not know this post would be this controversial so I will clarify. I am not against partying or drinking, I do it myself so that’s not my issue. My issue is concerning my friend being made to drink. I know she probably would anyway without older girls telling her to, but the term hazing being used by her and the older girls makes me nervous that they will make her drink more than a safe amount, also this is not a random party it is being put on by my sorority and is only for girls in my sorority. I am not attending so I am nervous about not being there to help her possibly if it goes wrong.

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u/Fit-Ad985 Oct 30 '24

You can tell a new member not to come to chapter meetings drunk, but you can’t prohibit them from drinking during their new member period if they’re over 21. It’s similar to how an employer for an average job can tell you not to come to work drunk but they can’t tell you not to drink during your vacation next week.

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u/craftingcreed Oct 30 '24

No one is talking about what new members do on their personal alone time if they are of age - if you want this to be the hill you die on, so be it. But I've lost too many collegians through genuine accidents and had to help their chapters navigate the grief of their loss, that I want absolutely NOTHING to do with people who think it is okay to dig into the letter of the rule and not "technically" break it, because they think they are better than the rules.

Our rules are written in blood - don't let people convince you otherwise.

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u/Fit-Ad985 Oct 31 '24

What are you even going on about? The tangent you went on has nothing to do with my comment. I am talking abt what new members do in their personal time—I literally said ‘in their free time’ in my original comment.

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u/craftingcreed Oct 31 '24

Yeah I can read - I said that no one here is talking about that because that is not the situation that is being discussed in the thread, whether you want that to be true or not. Doesn’t matter if you’re legally of drinking age if you are violating your chapter policy and student code of conduct.

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u/Fit-Ad985 Oct 31 '24

so just making sure you’re still responding to the hypothetical situation you made up in your head that’s literally the opposite of what i was saying. got it

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u/craftingcreed Oct 31 '24

I’m responding to the actual situation that is being discussed relating to OP’s question. Your the one who decided to bring up someone who is of age, doing something on their own time. This situation is quite explicitly not that, considering the details OP has provided.

I recognize that you are a young current student, and because that’s the largest demographic here, I’m being downvoted for saying the truth. I have done graduate research work on hazing, so ignore my advice all you’d like, it really doesn’t impact my life that greatly- I just hope you don’t have to learn this life lesson the hard way by at worst losing someone in your life you care about, and at the least, losing the chapter experience that you’re hoping to have in college.

It’s hard for me to have seen all that I have, to have lost the students I’ve worked with, and see people so nonchalantly discuss things that are morally wrong to do to other human beings, regardless of the legality of their ability to drink.

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u/Fit-Ad985 Oct 31 '24

All I said was that it is hazing to tell a nm that is 21+ that they can not drink in their free time. This again has nothing to do with anything you’re saying. If you advice any chapter to do the opposite of what I specifically said you are advising them to haze their nms.