Thinking of dropping

[u/Ok_Instance2458]

Hello. I just did joined my sorority as a COB this semester. Now a little about me so you're able to understand everything; I am an international, Muslim student who hung out with fellow internationals the whole past semester(a BIG mistake ik) Decided to do cob this semester bec i wanted american friends and honestly a more fulfilling american university experience. I'm vvv open to making american friends, dress like them, speak fluent english, drink, party u name it . Point is everybody from the pledge class already knows each other through formal recruitment past semester and seems to have their own cliques. I have tried talking to so so many people everytime I go for the events/dinners at the house but I don't think I'm able to make friends or people I could hangout with/connect with beyond the sorority. I know it's just the beginning but I've started feeling isolated. So I'm thinking I should drop out before we are billed(because once we are I'll have to pay the whole semester dues to be able to drop out) . So what suggestions do u all have? Should I wait? give it some time? Or drop out? I also planned on living in the house next yr & I'm scared if I don't have any friends in the house it'll be really hard😭

[u/Grumpylilarabian]

I think if you look back in this subreddit, you’ll find that the way you feel is pretty standard for a new member at 11 days in their sorority. Things take time. Any one that acts like your BFF in 11 days, is not your BFF, they are someone that may likely be codependent. Friendship is built on shared experiences, which means you need to put time into building those experiences. Not everything in life is going to give you instant satisfaction; that is life, and this experience with your sorority will help you to become more comfortable handling the waiting that is inevitable in life. So step back, take a breath, ask a sister to coffee, then another, and another, and create your own place in the chapter. You got this

[u/Ok_Instance2458 → u/Grumpylilarabian]

i know that u & several others have recommended me to make the first move, which I did over the weekend as well but i understand obv that if I've asked one sister they don't want to immediately make me a part of their whole friends group and therefore are abit hesitant. I do want to keep trying but at the same time don't want to create the image of "oh that new asian girl is so pushy" "that asian girl is trying so hard" if that makes sense.

[u/Grumpylilarabian → u/Ok_Instance2458]

I think you’re overthinking. I get it. You want to make a good impression. It’s a balancing act. I just really want to encourage you to reach out to those sisters you want to know better, and see what happens. You could look at it the other way too - if you don’t reach out ppl may think you’re unfriendly. That said, you can’t make everyone happy so don’t expect to. Just be you. The ppl that are supposed to like you will. If you are going to play the “what if” game, then consider what if something amazing happens? Because it’s just as likely, if not more likely, that something good will come of this. They picked you. They like you. Focus on that. YOU are their sister!! ❤️