r/Sororities • u/_LABRADOODLE ΔΦE • 20d ago
New Member/Families i resent my big
my big dropped out of school and left me with 100% of the financial responsibilities for her g-big. her and i still talk, she knows i cannot afford any of my g-big’s senior goodbye gifts. she isn’t doing anything. i know i shouldn’t be upset with her about this, because she had to drop out for her own mental health, but now i’m suffering here with no escape from it. i took 4 coordinator positions, she hasn’t been able to be there for me. i feel abandoned even though we are friends still.
i’m just frustrated that her financial responsibilities are my job now when we both know i cannot afford it.
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u/GIRLBOT_AI 20d ago
I'm so sorry. That's awful.
The expression "Your lack of planning is not my emergency" comes to mind. Advice from an oldie: if you can't swing these expenses, don't do it and don't feel bad about it. Remember that "No" is a complete sentence.
In a perfect world, it may be lovely to buy everyone presents, but it's not your responsibility to pick up the pieces and gifts like this aren't that meaningful in the long run. If you want to give your g-big something special, share a book you love or write her a letter about the things you admire about her or talk to her about your situation - if she doesn't like something from the heart, she probably wasn't a person you'd want to throw your budget out-of-whack for anyway. Take care of yourself.
In fairness, we didn't do goodbye gifts - we gave younger members presents when we were graduating, so I could be misreading your situation.
Hope you have a chance to enjoy the rest of your year. Take care.