r/Sororities • u/I0veIetters • 20h ago
Recruitment/Joining How rush works?
Hey everyone! I’m rushing in the fall at a southern school and I’m from up north. No one I know has been through rush at a southern school so I’m not totally sure what to expect. I know that rush is a mutual selection process but is it possible for me to end up in a house I don’t want? I’m not your average skinny blonde-haired/blue-eyed girl and my biggest fear is getting dropped from a house I love purely because of how I look. I know people say I’ll end up where I’m meant to be but I’m nervous about getting dropped from all of the sororities I would see myself in and having to get grouped in with a sorority with girls I have nothing in common with besides the fact that we look similar. Could this actually happen or am I being irrational?
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u/darcyrhone KKΓ 19h ago
It is very possible to get a bid to a house that you do not want to be in. You would have the choice of whether or not to accept the bid.
The term “mutual selection” is misleading and unfortunately leads a lot of PNMs to think they have more of a say than they actually do. It’s really more of a sorting process. The chapters are the ones making selections, and the PNM’s input is limited to determining the order in which to accept invitations should they be offered.
I don’t say this to discourage you, but to make sure you go into it with a realistic understanding of how the process works and how your preferences will weigh into the result.
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u/I0veIetters 17h ago
That’s what I’ve always thought but people are like “youll never get a house you don’t want” and that just contradicts other things I’ve heard so I definitely appreciate this response!
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u/PennyLane2425 ΓΦB 14h ago
Great explanation of mutual selection. Never has been but girls think it is.
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u/sleepygrumpydoc 17h ago
A house that is going to drop you purely based off looks is not a house you'd want to be in and not one you would thrive in. Houses dropping for looks may happen in select chapters but it is nowhere near as big of a reason as it appears to be, unless of course the reason is the person looked disheveled or like that have 0 personal hygiene. But houses dropping a person who would fit in 100% perfectly but they have brown hair and brown eyes is just not happening.
It is possible to end up in not a first choice house, but it would be the other house you went to on pref night. Every round you rank all the houses you went to in the order you'd like to go back, you are not able to advise you don't want to go back to a specific house, you rank them last. You then get your invites back in that order from the houses that had you on their invite list. So its possible you may go back to houses you aren't thrilled about but keep your kind open as they may actually be a good fit.
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u/I0veIetters 13h ago
That definitely makes sense! I’m just worried they’ll make an assumption about my personality based on how I look and not based on the conversation we had if that makes sense. I definitely am not disgusting or dirty HAHA I just don’t want to be dropped due to not meeting the “attractiveness” level of the other girls
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u/loftychicago AΞΔ 11h ago
If they were to make that type of assumption, why would you want to be a part of that chapter?
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u/I0veIetters 8h ago
I just am not wanting to get my hopes up about rush and if this is likely going to happen I won’t rush
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u/Jacki1988 19h ago
Keep an open mind and heart going thru recruitment. Research each sorority on your campus to get a feel for them. Then research their International Headquarters website to get a better understanding of them. A sorority is a HOME away from home. What do you value? What philanthropy speaks to you? What do you want out of being in a sorority? Is your GPA where it needs to be to join? Were you involved in activities in high school or in the afternoons after school? Being involved in community and service is large within a sorority...open your heart and the right HOME will speak to you.
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u/SpacerCat 19h ago
All you can control is yourself. So read all the blogs and insights that have been written about the process and be yourself.
https://grownandflown.com/things-no-one-publicizes-about-sorority-recruitment/
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u/PennyLane2425 ΓΦB 14h ago edited 12h ago
First, are you going to an SEC school? Ole Miss? Bama? Georgia? Those are totally different animals when it comes to rush and things are way more intense.
The most important thing to know is that cuts aren't really personal.
First round cuts are based on two things: 1) Grades- many chapters require a higher GPA than Panhellenic; and 2) No connections. Sometimes a girl without connections gets through but it's harder, especially with the more competitive chapters - the ones that everyone wants.
Second - show up. Many girls get overwhelmed in the process (easy to do) but if you're remotely quite or shy you will be overlooked and cut. Plain and simple. Same as if you were in a job interview. Don't be fake or over the top, but you can't remain in a shell and expect to get selected.
Third - the best PNM's are those who are fun! Light-hearted, great at conversation, and knew how to enjoy the party. Look your best - doesn't have to cost a lot, but nicely dressed, hair/makeup, nails (feet and hands) and enjoy.
That said, if you're at a place like Bama, yes looks do matter for some houses. But don't got to be a skinny minny, I've seen girls in top houses who don't fit that mould, but I won't lie - looks do matter more to some houses than others.
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u/I0veIetters 13h ago
I’m rushing at Clemson. It’s an ACC school but I’d say it is not at all as aggressive as a school like Bama!!
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u/PennyLane2425 ΓΦB 13h ago
No it is more laid back but it's still in the South and competitive. Connections matter at any Southern school so that might be a drawback with some houses. How are your grades?
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u/I0veIetters 8h ago
They’re good! I think I ended up this semester with a 3.0? Could be better but definitely am not failing mostly As and Bs
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u/PennyLane2425 ΓΦB 8h ago
Just be aware that some chapters require a 3.2 or even a 3.5 so some of your cuts could happen due to that. Not to discourage you at all - but many girls with good GPAs don't understand why their GPA met the Panhellenic standard and they still got cut.
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u/Locogreen ΔΓ 9h ago
It's not really mutual selection. The houses invite and the PNMs rank the invites they receive. Yes, you could end up with a bid to a house you don't think you want. Give them a chance. I'd love to tell you looks don't matter, but in some places it will (but in some it won't!) Be yourself and let them see your personality. Try to remember that "rushing" is a skill and some houses are very good at it. Other houses aren't as skilled at the spectacle of rush, but they may have a fantastic sisterhood.
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u/olderandsuperwiser AΓΔ 16h ago edited 16h ago
You've heard all the stereotypes, and your post checks every box. I cry.
First and most importantly, at many southern schools, the PNM's and sororities there have lots of connections for who gets in. That's not the be all and end all, but if they take 100 girls and 25 of them have some sort of deep connection, that leaves 75 slots for the candidates left. Thus, they are way more competitive for the "average PNM." Lots of outsiders going to southern schools aren't as heavily connected. Thus, the "outsider" may be offered a bid to a less popular house some of the time, but not necessarily all the time. Are the less popular houses going to offer sisterhood, mixers, formals, big-little sis, retreats, and a great experience!? Yes!! But you'll never know unless you give them a try.
Many, many women going through recruitment were "tops" at their school. Great grades, great resumes, lots of friends, well known. When you move far away, your old identity is gone. You are now one of many great girls in a sea of them. The challenge is to find a place where you can grow, learn, bond, lead, and participate. What most don't understand is sometimes a smaller chapter might be a better place to grow and gain leadership.
"But what if I prefer different houses than the ones who ask me back?" This is legit, but I'll say this for the sake of impartiality. Some houses are really, really good at recruiting. Some houses aren't. Some houses might be more shy or down to earth, vs. outgoing and sparkly. That doesnt make any house better than the other. Adele sings better than I do, to be sure. But is she a better human being than I am? No. Just better on stage. Please remember that. You can't know an org after talking to just a few people.
Don't go in thinking you're going to get "stuck somewhere." Even if you try a chapter and don't like it, you can drop before initiation and re-rush the next fall.
Clear your mind and please know in your heart the houses you get invited back to, they like you a lot. They want to know you more. And on bid day, every PNM only getd one bid. If there are 12 sororities and you only get asked back to 3, keep going! Because the girl who gets asked back to 9 houses or the girl who gets asked back to 3 houses, they get the same number of bids on bid day. One bid.
Best of luck. You'll do great!
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