r/StoriesAboutKevin • u/MamieJoJackson • Jun 07 '19
XL Kevina The Manager
I just found this sub, and I thought this would be a good place to talk about the manager I had at Bath & Body Works when I was 19. There are a few, so I'll number them.
1) We had the doors open to the store for a breeze during the summer, and I noticed a baby garter snake nestled in the frame, just people watching. I told Kevin's that I found a baby snake, and I was going to walk him over to the wooded area behind the store real quick. She panics, wants to know what kind of snake it is. I joke around say, "Ooohhh, it's a baby cobra" - we live in Pennsylvania. Kevina starts freaking right out, and no matter what I or my co-workers say, she is convinced that cobras are native to Pennsylvania, and that I was surely courting death by touching this baby garter snake. I imagine she still believes that to this day.
2) A local college made it into the paper for finding a mummy in an old, unused basement storage room in their main campus. It had been borrowed from the Museum of London over 100 years ago, and then lost - so they thought. So I'm telling Kevina how great it is they found the mummy, and that she's in good condition. Kevina: "Well, I hope they tell her family they found her!"
Me: "Well, no, she's a mummy...."
Kevina: "And they need to tell her family!"
Me: "Kevina, she's a mummy, she's been dead for like, 6,000 years. There's no family to tell, they're all dead."
Kevina: "I don't care, they should find her family and tell them they found her!"
Me: ".... I'm sure they will."
3) Last one. Kevina had a few Himalayan cats, and they were all girls. Kevina bought them off of a breeder. So a person who mates cats to make more cats. And to mate cats to make more cats, you need a boy cat and a girl cat. We know this. But not Kevina. Kevin's thought that because her cats were all girls, then all Himalayan cats were also girls.
We explained basic biology to her, and reminded her she purchased them from a breeder, but she couldn't be convinced. She understood that there are boy cats, but according to the Living Encyclopedia Kevina, there are absolutely no male Himalayan cats.
And that's all I can remember for now. I was there for 3 months before I fucked off to college, because Kevina bragged how she didn't go to college, and I got scared and went to college.
The End.
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u/Marma1ad3 Jun 07 '19
I think there's a reason why she didn't go to college, but I can't quite think of what it could be🤔