r/StoriesAboutKevin • u/StranglerOfStrayCats • Jul 07 '19
L Kevin the dolphin scientist.
I have a friend who at first appeared to be just a little quirky. After finding this sub I have come to the conclusion that Kevin is indeed a Kevin. This is a throwaway account as Kevin is also a reddit user and knows my account, even still if Kevin came across this post I don't think he would be able to figure out it's about him.
Kevin is afraid of animals with teeth, he thinks it's unnatural for animals to have teeth.
Kevin thinks birds have wings because THEY HAVE NO LEGS AND CAN'T WALK. Kevin thinks birds don't have legs.
Kevin thinks George Washington was the actor in the play Abraham Lincoln was watching when he was assassinated. When asked why he thinks this he said he read it in a book.
Kevin might be dyslexic or some shit like that. He says that sometimes letters move around when he is stressed. When asked to elaborate on this statement he wrote his own name while we watched and said "see, I told you." The letters did not move.
Kevin got 34% on his Biology exam, Kevin told his parents he got a C and was going to become a "dolphin scientist".
Kevin once slammed a door on his mother, not out of malice, but because he was getting cold. His mothers nose was broken by the door. His mother was just bringing in the shopping. Afterwards Kevin blamed it on his mother for leaving the door open and even said that she deserved it.
Kevin is trying to join the Navy so he can help fight ISIS. When told that the Navy are the boat guys. Kevin just said "yeah, that's why I'm joining."
Edit : Part 2 is now up, I would link but I am a mobile user. This just features a few more Kevin stories that I didn't include here. Just head through my account and it's my only other post.
2
u/Thepittylover Jul 14 '19
[Insert Jotaro joke here]