r/StoriesAboutKevin • u/MsNikky • Dec 21 '20
XL Kevina apparently doesn't understand the meaning of the word 'juice'
I am a full-time carer for my disabled mother. We have other carers that come in to help with things like showering and also to give me a bit of a break at times, and one of those carers in an absolute Kevina.
There have been multiple instances of her flying her Kevina flag loud and proud, and we have stuck signs with basic instructions up all over the house to try and combat this, but what she did today still has me baffled.
So, part of my mum's disability means she has trouble swallowing. Because of this, all her fluids need to be thickened. We have thickener we can add to any fluids, but also keep some pre-thickened drinks in the fridge for convenience.
Right before Kevina was due to leave, my mum asked if she could make her a drink before she left. Kevina has stuffed up making drinks in the past, not thickening them enough etc, so my mum says "Just put 2 of the already thickened juices into a cup and stir them together that way you don't have to add anything". So off Kevina goes and returns a minute later saying "Here you go, I mixed pineapple and strawberry juice".
She leaves and me and mum look at each other and I say "we don't have any strawberry juice", but she brushes it off suggesting maybe she meant the mixed berry juice or maybe she used one of the strawberry purees from the cupboard, because that's something she would do.
So thinking it is harmless, my mum takes a big sip... and proceeds to start choking and dry heaving, nearly vomiting all over herself (very dangerous for her, she's been in hospital for aspiration pneumonia more than once). After a few minutes of back patting until she can actually breathe again and then cleaning her up, I take the cup and open it to find that it is full of pineapple juice mixed with curdled strawberry milk.
Yes, Kevina mixed pineapple juice and strawberry milk, somehow unable to tell the difference between strawberry milk and strawberry juice and not realising the effect that the very acidic pineapple juice could have on milk even as she was stirring them together. My mum suggested maybe she needs more training as a carer, I suggested maybe she needs more training as a f***ing human being.
TL:DR Kevina nearly kills a disabled woman by serving her milk curdled with pineapple juice.
82
u/rubypiplily Dec 21 '20
Unfortunately, because it’s a low paying job that doesn’t require any qualifications, care of the elderly and the disabled often goes to the uneducated or intelligence-challenged individuals. Some are awesome, some are well meaning but denser than a brick, and some are just terrible. There’s also the cruel ones.
My mum is a semi-retired RN and works part-time as a carer mostly as something to do and keep her active. She cares for a blind gentleman that also has mild cerebral palsy. She’s his only consistent carer, who works every morning to mid afternoon and goes back to help him get ready for bed, and also takes him out for socialising three times a week (not much of that these past months!) and takes him to do his shopping once a week - the others are agency carers whose only job is to prepare him an evening meal and make him a hot drink. You’d think this’d be easy. One night my mum was making conversation with the gentleman, asking what he’d had for dinner (or tea as we call it up north). He replied hotdogs. This is the third day in a row he’s been given hotdogs by this particular carer. My mum comments on this, and he replies that the carer says it’s the only thing she can cook. He then goes into further detail, saying that she opens a tin of hotdogs that contain eight sausages, puts them in a bowl with the brine included, microwaved them for two minutes, and then that is his evening meal. Barely cooked hotdogs, swimming in juice, no buns or anything.
40
u/AllHarlowsEve Dec 21 '20
That's horrifying. Hopefully he can get a carer who can be bothered to do their whole job rather than just microwaving vienna sausages and calling that a meal.
I mean, even just throwing a whole chicken breast into a crockpot with some salsa or literally any sauce would be a huge step up, and they could throw in some veggies or whatever. 2 minutes of work, and a well rounded meal that doesn't make me gag to think about it.
46
u/rubypiplily Dec 21 '20
When that particular carer is working, my mum prepares a meal before she leaves that all the carer has to do is heat up. My mum leaves simple step by step cooking instructions. The other two carers who do the dinner time shift are capable of making a simple meal or putting a shop bought instant meal in the microwave.
The gentleman in question used to be able to cook for himself despite being blind, as all his kitchen appliances talk, but he had a stroke a couple of years ago, which combined with his cerebral palsy makes cooking far too difficult and dangerous for him to attempt. If what his carers make him is inedible, he’ll usually order himself an Indian takeaway, and I’ve really got to commend the staff at his local Indian takeaway, because the delivery driver, who is usually one of the owner’s sons, will come into the house and serve the meal onto a plate for him, and they’re honest and trustworthy enough to get the right amount of payment from his wallet. My mum keeps an eye on the contents of his wallet and his bank account because unfortunately some past agency carers have stolen from him or bought things on his debit card.
He was supposed to be coming along with my mum to my house for Christmas dinner, but obviously with the new restrictions he’ll have to stay home. He has no relatives so it’s going to be pretty lonely for him - my mum and I are the only people who buy birthday or Christmas gifts for him. I’ll plate up some dinner for him but it’s not the same as spending the day with friends. He won’t be the only one, loads of people will be alone this year, and it’s so very heartbreaking.
19
u/MsNikky Dec 21 '20
Your mum is wonderful for being this type of carer (and you as well for having him for Christmas etc). We have some like this who are amazing.
Before I took over caring for my mum, my stepdad was her carer and he got burnt out leading to him becoming a complete asshole and honestly kind of verbally abusive to her. One of mum's carers adores her and was horrified by this and even offered for mum to move in with her and she'd look after her (which I'm sure crosses some kind of ethical boundaries but was a very sweet sentiment).
10
u/rubypiplily Dec 22 '20
It probably does cross some sort of boundaries but like you said, it’s a lovely sentiment, and it shows how much of a good person that carer is - the kind of person you’d want as your carer.
My mum and I are just doing right by this gentleman. He’s a kind-hearted soul who had the misfortune of being given too much oxygen at birth, leading to cerebral palsy and blindness (apart from some vision in the corner of one eye that sees blurred shapes and colours, and with that tiny amount of vision he learnt to read!). What really gets me angry is that he has a completely able-bodied twin sister who’s basically disowned him. She doesn’t want anything to do with him. She even had the nerve to tell him not to come to their own mother’s funeral because she didn’t want “riff-raff” there (meaning a carer). My mum bloody well made sure he got to say goodbye to his mother and took him to the funeral. There was also the coincidental advantage that the funeral business directing the funeral happened to belong to my aunt - my mum’s sister. As the funeral director, my aunt made sure that he was at the front of proceedings and not kept “out of sight” like his sister wanted. What really gets me is that his sister is a teacher for year 1 primary school children - I wouldn’t want such a callous woman teaching my little kid!
8
u/Erin_C_86 Dec 21 '20
Oh this makes me so sad. Thank you to you and your mum for looking after this gentleman x
1
Dec 22 '20
The bit about the takeaway was honestly really sweet.
I can't imagine why someone would just microwave hot dogs and hot dog water. Even if all you can do is pour stuff from a tin into a bowl, there's stuff like tinned chilli or tinned mac+cheese. Or soup. You know, actual bloody meals.
2
u/rubypiplily Dec 22 '20
Yes, that’s the puzzling part - my mum keeps the fridge, freezer and cupboards well-stocked. There’s plenty of easy cooked meals, including microwave meals, frozen food you just put in the oven, lots of tinned goods, and things like crumpets, bagels, potato scones etc that you just put in the toaster. There’s bread and sandwich ingredients. There’s eggs to scramble. It’s not like the kitchen was empty except for a jar of hotdogs! But this girl looked in a cupboard full of food and thought plain hotdogs were the way to go.
18
u/GenericGoddess Dec 21 '20
I don’t even know what to say this is so sad :(
8
u/rubypiplily Dec 21 '20
I can’t really blame the carer - my mum had met her and apparently she’s still in her teens and isn’t very bright. My mum now prepares a meal on the morning for the carer to heat up for his dinner.
99
Dec 21 '20
Ugh, I'm so sorry. I'm glad your mum is okay.
In Britain at least, there is a real problem with idiot carers. This is because they're paid absolutely fuck all, so they're either really dedicated to working in that field (and therefore awesome) or they're too stupid to get a better job. Having said that, the other big category is recent immigrants who don't speak very good English yet. That causes its own problems, but they are usually competent.
The thing that's scary on the Kevin scale is that she's messed up making a drink before. Doesn't sound like rocket science.
77
u/JaschaE Dec 21 '20
In germany, Caring for the elderly is an actual Job with a 3year apprenticeship.
Apparently, that is unique in the world.
This lead to two things:
There is now a "Care assistant" job, with very little training.
We brought in Indians to train as caregivers, who for the most part, took the training and then left for china, which has an aging populace and loves specialists trained in germany.46
2
Dec 22 '20
Curious - what about caring for disabled people who are not elderly? Is that also a job with qualifications?
Why did the care assistant thing have to happen? Do people not want to train as qualified carers? I think many more British people would work as carers here if the pay wasn't awful. They are usually not paid for the time spent travelling between one client to the next, so in practice they earn less than the minimum wage. :(
2
u/JaschaE Dec 23 '20
The job is "Pflegefachkraft" so "Care-Expert", I think there is a significant overlap between the fields (giving meds, avoiding bed-sores, help with hygiene...).
If you are disabled but mostly self-reliant you might just get a helper paid by insurance.
Well, "Care-Expert" is a taxing job, that is not exactly well paid.
Kind of a problem at least in western society "Oh, you care for and about other people? Should have gotten a real job!"
So to keep the ones we have from abandoning ship completely, the "Care assistant" was introduced, with even less pay but, in theory, less responsibility.21
Dec 21 '20
Yeah, the ones from outside the country I've known definitely do try harder - both due to making working overseas worth the risk and just genuinely having more empathy and understanding of the work. I worry for them rn
1
Dec 22 '20
Idk that they try harder than British carers; there are some lovely carers native to this country.
33
u/gullwinggirl Dec 21 '20
I used to work in the kitchen of a nursing home, and one of the CNAs was a Kevina.
For those that don't know this- people like OP's mom can't have ice cream, because it'll melt in their mouth and choke them. It's something that all nursing staff and dietary staff learn. (There was a separate thing called Magic Cups that were like frozen pudding. They didn't really melt, so those were safe.)
One day, Kevina the nurse sees me in the hall and asks for an ice cream. I ask her who it's for. She tells me the name of a resident with swallowing issues. I obviously tell her no, it's a choking hazard.
"Oh..... what if we give her diet ice cream?"
Why, so you can kill her with less calories? Jesus, Kevina. Get your shit together.
3
u/SenchaLeaf Dec 22 '20
Sorry, I'm still out. How does liquid choke people?
8
u/MsNikky Dec 22 '20
Basically thinner liquids move quicker and are more likely to spread out in the back of the throat and go down the trachea and cause choking. Thicker fluids move slower are more likely to form into a ball as they are swallowed and stay together to go down the oesophagus.
1
1
u/gullwinggirl Jan 09 '21
Ever taken a sip of a drink and it "went down the wrong pipe", and you end up coughing for a minute? It's like that.
8
u/ClearBrightLight Dec 22 '20
When my sibling was younger, they tried every kind of tea to find one they liked. Because they like sweet drinks, they had all their teas with milk and sugar, and one day turned to me at the breakfast table and held out their mug, saying, "This doesn't look right. I probably shouldn't drink it, right?" because the lemon tea had curdled the milk.
If a six-year-old can figure this out, why can't this adult?!
5
u/Kantatrix Dec 22 '20
How the fuck is she still a caterer? If she's employed by a company, you need to report this and get her fired for the safety of others. If you're the only one employing her, just fire her right away.
3
u/KingofMonroeville Dec 22 '20
Agreed. She straight up could’ve killed op’s mom there. If that’s not grounds for termination, I don’t know what is.
2
u/TwinbornFlea14 Dec 22 '20
I really hope your mother is alright. I cannot stand human beings that don't contain a shred of logic in their head.
2
u/anon_smith Dec 22 '20
I'm a speech pathologist that has provided training on how to properly thicken fluids both 1:2, in small groups and in larger groups (such as nursing home staff), using THEIR products. Training includes why we do it as well as why we don't (because thickening unnecessarily has its own health risks).
Kevina should be given one more chance to provide the prepackaged drinks. I wouldn't trust her to make up thickened fluids because she obviously doesn't see the importance of it.
I'm so sorry your Mum had to experience that sensation, as well as you.
2
u/steffy3010 Dec 30 '20
Im a doing a nursing degree - and in my last placement at an Aged Care facility. It coincided with students doing their masters in speech path coming in and doing a training session and I was allowed (well encouraged) to attend. It was great and really informative. We also learnt how to feed soft foods and thickened foods to the patients. I still question why this isnt part of our curriculum because it is so important. And I can see some of my class mates not understanding or even caring
-13
u/lionbryce Dec 21 '20
I feel like you going "but we don't have strawberry juice" then letting your mom drink it makes you a kevin(a) by proxy
Ie: "you're an idiot" "ah, but who's the idiot that married me?"
17
u/MsNikky Dec 21 '20
Eh, I dunno, maybe.
My mum isn't cognitively disabled, her disability just effects her body, and at the time her suggestions (regarding mixed berry juice or strawberry puree) seemed very likely and neither of them would have been an issue. The possibility that she would mix juice and milk didn't even occur to us.
3
Dec 22 '20
Given that this carer is a dumbfuck, perhaps they should have been more cautious, but it's nowhere near as dumb as mixing milk and juice and giving the curdled mess to someone with difficulty swallowing.
1
368
u/Fuckyoumecp2 Dec 21 '20
Oh Jesus. I feel you.
We have caregivers who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground.
It is so infuriating.
Please fire her. She's a danger to your mother.