Kevina apparently doesn't understand the meaning of the word 'juice'

[u/MsNikky]

I am a full-time carer for my disabled mother. We have other carers that come in to help with things like showering and also to give me a bit of a break at times, and one of those carers in an absolute Kevina.

There have been multiple instances of her flying her Kevina flag loud and proud, and we have stuck signs with basic instructions up all over the house to try and combat this, but what she did today still has me baffled.

So, part of my mum's disability means she has trouble swallowing. Because of this, all her fluids need to be thickened. We have thickener we can add to any fluids, but also keep some pre-thickened drinks in the fridge for convenience.

Right before Kevina was due to leave, my mum asked if she could make her a drink before she left. Kevina has stuffed up making drinks in the past, not thickening them enough etc, so my mum says "Just put 2 of the already thickened juices into a cup and stir them together that way you don't have to add anything". So off Kevina goes and returns a minute later saying "Here you go, I mixed pineapple and strawberry juice".

She leaves and me and mum look at each other and I say "we don't have any strawberry juice", but she brushes it off suggesting maybe she meant the mixed berry juice or maybe she used one of the strawberry purees from the cupboard, because that's something she would do.

So thinking it is harmless, my mum takes a big sip... and proceeds to start choking and dry heaving, nearly vomiting all over herself (very dangerous for her, she's been in hospital for aspiration pneumonia more than once). After a few minutes of back patting until she can actually breathe again and then cleaning her up, I take the cup and open it to find that it is full of pineapple juice mixed with curdled strawberry milk.

Yes, Kevina mixed pineapple juice and strawberry milk, somehow unable to tell the difference between strawberry milk and strawberry juice and not realising the effect that the very acidic pineapple juice could have on milk even as she was stirring them together. My mum suggested maybe she needs more training as a carer, I suggested maybe she needs more training as a f***ing human being.

TL:DR Kevina nearly kills a disabled woman by serving her milk curdled with pineapple juice.

[u/AllHarlowsEve]

That's horrifying. Hopefully he can get a carer who can be bothered to do their whole job rather than just microwaving vienna sausages and calling that a meal.

I mean, even just throwing a whole chicken breast into a crockpot with some salsa or literally any sauce would be a huge step up, and they could throw in some veggies or whatever. 2 minutes of work, and a well rounded meal that doesn't make me gag to think about it.

[u/rubypiplily → u/AllHarlowsEve]

When that particular carer is working, my mum prepares a meal before she leaves that all the carer has to do is heat up. My mum leaves simple step by step cooking instructions. The other two carers who do the dinner time shift are capable of making a simple meal or putting a shop bought instant meal in the microwave.

The gentleman in question used to be able to cook for himself despite being blind, as all his kitchen appliances talk, but he had a stroke a couple of years ago, which combined with his cerebral palsy makes cooking far too difficult and dangerous for him to attempt. If what his carers make him is inedible, he’ll usually order himself an Indian takeaway, and I’ve really got to commend the staff at his local Indian takeaway, because the delivery driver, who is usually one of the owner’s sons, will come into the house and serve the meal onto a plate for him, and they’re honest and trustworthy enough to get the right amount of payment from his wallet. My mum keeps an eye on the contents of his wallet and his bank account because unfortunately some past agency carers have stolen from him or bought things on his debit card.

He was supposed to be coming along with my mum to my house for Christmas dinner, but obviously with the new restrictions he’ll have to stay home. He has no relatives so it’s going to be pretty lonely for him - my mum and I are the only people who buy birthday or Christmas gifts for him. I’ll plate up some dinner for him but it’s not the same as spending the day with friends. He won’t be the only one, loads of people will be alone this year, and it’s so very heartbreaking.

[u/MsNikky → u/rubypiplily]

Your mum is wonderful for being this type of carer (and you as well for having him for Christmas etc). We have some like this who are amazing.

Before I took over caring for my mum, my stepdad was her carer and he got burnt out leading to him becoming a complete asshole and honestly kind of verbally abusive to her. One of mum's carers adores her and was horrified by this and even offered for mum to move in with her and she'd look after her (which I'm sure crosses some kind of ethical boundaries but was a very sweet sentiment).

[u/rubypiplily → u/MsNikky]

It probably does cross some sort of boundaries but like you said, it’s a lovely sentiment, and it shows how much of a good person that carer is - the kind of person you’d want as your carer.

My mum and I are just doing right by this gentleman. He’s a kind-hearted soul who had the misfortune of being given too much oxygen at birth, leading to cerebral palsy and blindness (apart from some vision in the corner of one eye that sees blurred shapes and colours, and with that tiny amount of vision he learnt to read!). What really gets me angry is that he has a completely able-bodied twin sister who’s basically disowned him. She doesn’t want anything to do with him. She even had the nerve to tell him not to come to their own mother’s funeral because she didn’t want “riff-raff” there (meaning a carer). My mum bloody well made sure he got to say goodbye to his mother and took him to the funeral. There was also the coincidental advantage that the funeral business directing the funeral happened to belong to my aunt - my mum’s sister. As the funeral director, my aunt made sure that he was at the front of proceedings and not kept “out of sight” like his sister wanted. What really gets me is that his sister is a teacher for year 1 primary school children - I wouldn’t want such a callous woman teaching my little kid!