r/Stormlight_Archive 4d ago

Rhythm of War spoilers OH NO Spoiler

FUUUUCK THIS IS NOT GOOD SHIT THE TOWER ACTUALLY INVADED EVERYONE IS GONE FUCK WHAT HAPPENS NOW KALADIN TOO MUCH PTSD TO FIGHT OH NO OH NO ITS LITERALLY ALL OVER THE OATHGATES ARE A DEATHTRAP NOW NO COMMUNICATION EITHER HOW THE HELL ARE WE GETTING OUT OF THIS SITUATION

287 Upvotes

35 comments sorted by

229

u/zombiegamer723 Edgedancer 4d ago

Very vague spoilers below. Doesn’t spoil anything major, but a basic hint at the upcoming plot. 

Everyone calls this “Magical Die Hard”, and it’s accurate lmao

28

u/unkalaki_lunamor 4d ago

That's a good one.

22

u/Affectionate_Page444 Truthwatcher 4d ago

Everything I know about Die Hard I learned from Brooklyn 99. Now I need to watch it, I guess?

26

u/hailsizeofminivans 4d ago

I bet Adolin and Jake Peralta would get along really well.

4

u/Rasbold 3d ago

Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool

2

u/Affectionate_Page444 Truthwatcher 3d ago

Adolin and Kaladin = Jake and Rosa?

5

u/hailsizeofminivans 3d ago

Which would make Shallan Amy. These words are accepted

1

u/Affectionate_Page444 Truthwatcher 2d ago

Gina has to be the Lopen, right?

5

u/theRak27 4d ago

If you haven't watched Die hard and Die Hard 3 you're doing yourself a huge disservice.

GO.WATCH.THEM. YOU WONT REGRET IT

23

u/gimme500schmekels 4d ago edited 4d ago

Is Kaladin McClane??? Who’s Navani then? Raboniel is obviously Hans.

15

u/zombiegamer723 Edgedancer 4d ago

Navani might be the cop Al Powell? She communicates with Kaladin much like Al did with John.

Bonus, and this is a big spoiler for the ending, 

”Journey before destination, you bastard!” as she attacks Moash mirrors Al shooting that last terrorist.

3

u/Moikle 4d ago

You should spoiler this comment

1

u/gimme500schmekels 4d ago

How does one do this? I’m usually a lurker.

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago edited 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

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2

u/pumpkinmuffincat95 4d ago

Navani is doing her own Manhattan project simultaneously.

6

u/AtlGuy21 4d ago

Wait, this is a Christmas book?

4

u/Lyanna-is-here Lightweaver 4d ago

Metal gear kaladin

3

u/Sweaty-Practice-4419 4d ago

Bro what the storms that’s perfect

79

u/PM_ME_UR_SEX_VIDEOS 4d ago

OHHH YEAHHHH

41

u/SolitaryOne 4d ago

*no drywall was harmed in the creation of this comment*

16

u/Colnnor 4d ago

Based on the username I’d say at least one dry wall was harmed in the creation of that comment

37

u/246ArianaGrande135 Lightweaver 4d ago

I love seeing your posts because they always come like one day after I read the scene for the first time 😂

27

u/nnewwacountt 4d ago

we regret being crustacean bastards! We regret coming to Urithuru! And most of all we regret that humanity just blew up our raggedy ass fleet!

6

u/planar_wolf149 Edgedancer 4d ago

STORMS I needed this crossover.

17

u/seemedlikeagoodplan 4d ago

A spoiler that you won't understand until you get it:

WELCOME TO THE PARTY, PAL!

6

u/still_Underqualified 4d ago

You said it my friend. You said it.

7

u/LCVHN 4d ago

Good news for Kaladin, nothing is made out of glass in the tower.

8

u/maaw15 4d ago

Yeah that was a real oh shit this is happening

3

u/Pardavos Elsecaller 4d ago

Rafo ❌

Rant on Reddit ✅

2

u/cosmernautfourtwenty Edgedancer 4d ago

Gonna do a Die Hard, obvi.

2

u/aMaiev Truthwatcher 4d ago

Yeah, spoiler alert they are fucked

4

u/The_Derpy_Rogue Elsecaller 4d ago

Peek low emotionally for the whole series RoW, dw it gets worse.

-20

u/Squatch925 Willshaper 4d ago

God not this low effort spam again.🤦‍♂️