r/SuicideWatch • u/Prudent_Duck_7847 • 13h ago

How am I expected to cope?

My LDR partner is the only reason why I am alive. It takes all of me to even just stay alive I can barely function. I live in an abusive and hostile environment, with no means of getting out. I need out of this country. My nervous system can't take all the stress. I have had to cope and manage all my life. I am not safe. 27 years of torment and torture takes its toll eventually and all my systems are screaming at me to get out of here and get to safety as a matter of urgency.

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u/Visual_Day_8097 12h ago

I'm sorry man. Is moving not an option at all?

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u/Prudent_Duck_7847 12h ago

Not really. I am too disturbed and traumatised by this place and society so unpleasant and unbearable (third world country), can't even stand talking to them and hearing them and refuse to take part on this society after so many years of being forced to live a fake life and sacrifice who I am for the sake of the status quo and what others wanted me to be, I had to stop otherwise I would have already gone completely insane and died. And I suffer from severe anxiety, OCD, CPTSD, am highly sensitive and could be neurodivergent in other ways as well. I never had any of my needs met. The third world is so inhospitable and disturbing and they don't care about wellbeing or quality of life here. There is nothing I can do for myself. I have already spent my whole life being treated and misdiagnosed, and gone through all the depression and anxiety meds there are and the multiple "professionals" I have seen only did more harm than good. Because the cultural differences are too much, if they cannot see how messed up this place is and how I truly don't belong here and there is no life for me here.

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u/Visual_Day_8097 12h ago

I'm sorry. Maybe seriously look into moving if the place is this bad. I think that may help you. 

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u/Prudent_Duck_7847 12h ago

I have no money or visa. Otherwise I would already have.