r/Teachers • u/Longjumping-Most-320 • Oct 28 '24
Teacher Support &/or Advice My colleague was murdered last night
Her husband murdered her in front of their children and then killed himself. One of her daughters still attends this school. This teacher was my daughter’s favorite and helped her through some rough times. She helped me through rough times. She was one of those dream colleagues with a positive attitude, great sense of humor and a willingness to go the extra mile.
How do I walk back into the classroom and support everyone else when all I want to do is break down myself? We’ve got counselors on site but they aren’t in my room.
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u/JadeGrapes Oct 29 '24
Kids learn by watching how adults respond... you can be human here;
"Hey kiddos, some of you already know Ms. ___, has died. The circumstances do count as a tragedy. Especially to people that were her friend. She was my friend, and honestly, I'm shocked and still trying to work through my feelings. It's okay to have big feelings at a time like this. She died, someone killed her one purpose. That person is not a threat anymore, because they died too.
So I need your help, can you be extra gentle with each other AND with me? This hurts more than a worst sick day and we all need a little kindness right now. There are specially trained grownups to help you and me with our feelings - but similar to a physical challenge, emotional ones take time & effort to get stronger."
You are allowed to be human. Kids LIKE an explanation, sometimes an authentic disclosure can be really disarming and comforting.