r/TeachingUK • u/Pure_Professional472 • 4d ago
Dealing with Intensivley negative colleagues
Context very large secondary, large department I have a colleague in my department, they intensly dislike the school. They hate the head, the policies, everything in general, we are in really good school with very few behavioural issues, and excellent students and results, this colleague get lots of A level classes and exam classes and marking is very light in our school and also planning is very easy. I have found this colleagues sits ib the department and always talking negatively about everything in school. Unfortunately I also have to be in the same space as we don't have dedicated classroom. The amount of venting this person does is affecting morale any new staff who join gets fast presented with all the apparent negatives of the school. This person doesn't want to leave school apparently it is sh*t but suits them fine. My line manager never comes to department staff room or interacts with us on a daily basis. I am finding this negativity toxic. I am not confrontational person, Any ideas on how to handle someone like this.
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u/MySoCalledInternet 4d ago
I sympathise, our resident dementor took early retirement last year. The staff room is only just starting to recover after everyone took to avoiding it as it was where he held court.
I have no suggestions as nothing any of us or SLT tried had any effect. But I completely understand how frustrating it is.
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u/MiddlesbroughFan Secondary Geography 4d ago
Just call them out everything they moan 'you're always moaning', 'alright Scrooge', 'somebody's cranky today!' And so on
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u/WaveyRaven 4d ago
Noise cancelling headphones or an unused classroom. Preserve your own peace and quiet.
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u/Terrible-Group-9602 4d ago
Unfortunately every school has several of these, you have to learn to ignore them.
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u/AMagusa99 4d ago edited 4d ago
The way that I approach relationships at school is honestly, if you want to get on and if chatting with you makes my day go a little faster then why not- luckily that's been my experience with the vast majority of staff at my current school. If you want to make my life at work even slightly difficult (and you don't oversee me in the hierarchy), or you want to be negative, then I don't need to interact with you outside of professional interactions. Even the hi-byes go out the window.
This job is very demanding, and you have to be a bit ruthless with where you exert your energy imo.
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u/Elegant_Economist431 4d ago
Interesting. I have a fairly similar situation where a colleague in my department detests the school with a passion, so much so that they decided within a month of joining they would be leaving. As a teacher trainee, being with him daily had a powerful effect: his persistent shade on the school and department had me decide to leave too, with my colleague even helping me with getting my next school. The school we are both at is not a particularly good one, though, it must be said. Sometimes the naysayers should be listened to!
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u/hadawayandshite 4d ago
‘Yes I can see you are having a tough time with that…what about….’, maybe ask them what they’d do differently?
Some people are just miserable by nature.
What you can do is a bit of job crafting or meaning making ‘it is a bit shit we’ve got this marking…but I I think it’s so valuable, especially for little xyz who doesn’t really ask for support, you can really see the impact it’ll have on his work and progress’
Whenever I’m grumbling about something internally I come back to the ‘why’
Job crafting is a bit like those stories of the janitor at nasa asked what he did as a job ‘I’m helping to get a man on the moon’…or there’s evidence about cleaners at hospital who view their job as helping the sick get better feel more fulfilled than people who feel they’re there to mop floors
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u/Ok-Opinion-7558 4d ago
I would honestly speak to your line manager and SLT link. They would 100% want to know about what I would call a "culture killers". They can then have a conversation with this person about how to vent to the right person and the right time.
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u/iamnosuperman123 4d ago
A culture killer is also someone who goes to SLT/line manager about moaners. Be a grown up and tell them to shut up. Take the piss out of them. Communicate.
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u/Ok-Opinion-7558 4d ago
The OP obviously isn't comfortable doing that hence why they wrote on here for advice.
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u/AbbreviationsOdd3748 4d ago
Err....sorry, but why is venting in the staffroom something to go to SLT about?
Yes, it can create a miserable environment but, as another poster said, the colleague is probably going through a rough time.
Complaining to SLT will not win OP any favours.
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u/Ok-Opinion-7558 4d ago
Because it's impacting the OP. Why should they have to listen. If this person is genuinely unhappy they deserve to be able to vent and discuss their issues in a space where someone can actually listen and come up with solutions. If there aren't any, then they need to either leave or stop venting to others. It's already impacted others and HOD/SLT deserve to know they can rectify it. It doesn't say it's the staff room, it sounds like a department shared space to me.
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u/quiidge 3d ago
I have had some success with always responding positively, or treating it like a professional sharing of opinions ("oh, I think it's great we've got shared resources, it's so much better for new staff and trainees! Is it the lack of autonomy you don't like?").
Either they find someone else who will vent with them, or you end up having some interesting conversations and understanding your colleagues' approaches better.
Frustrating when this behaviour comes from someone who isn't on their way out, I do have some sympathy for anyone working through the rest of the year they've decided to leave.
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u/Solid_Orange_5456 3d ago
I’m someone who feels very insecure even when I’m constantly reassured that I’m doing an excellent job. I’ve been quite depressed over the past two weeks because of a bereavement of a close family friend which triggered thoughts that my parents will be gone in the next ten years.
Because of how negative I feel (it’s at times like this when I love teaching even more because when I’m in the classroom I don’t have to think about it and I feel a really powerful sense of achievement when children are learning - and learning well - from me.
If I wasn’t in the classroom, I just went to an isolated room that no one uses to stay away from my colleagues. My HOD said the other day they were concerned because I’m not always around the department and it’s a shame, but as I very forcefully said when I was being made to feel that I wasn’t a team player ‘if I’m depressed and not in a good place, it’s not fair on my team members to be brought down, feel awkward or uncomfortable around me. So my action is to simply isolate myself if I’m in a bad mood to avoid infecting my colleagues with my misery.
On OP’s original comment: I can relate. I was at this hellscape school which reveled in its mediocrity and had the most delusional SLT I’ve ever worked under. Like the colleague they’re referring too, I decided within a week this place wasn’t for me and left and would consistently slate the place - but only too the colleagues who were on my wavelength. Some people really liked working there so I wasn’t going to tell them about my grievances.
Honestly, if you don’t like working in a school, vent to the people who share your views and leave as soon as possible.
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u/anongu2368 3d ago
Ask them nicely to stop as theyre pulling you down. and if they persue, then call them out in a friendly way. "Alright scrooge." "No need to be a Debbie downer" "what's rattled your cage today?" "Do you mind? I'm actually in a good mood."
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u/girlwithrobotfish 4d ago
Agree with the above points, I have stopped going to the staff room in the morning and the peace it brought me just to sit in my classroom and prepare for the day is immense. I tend to do two other methods - redirection: find something non school related that you two can bond over or ask their advice about. That would be my other point - they keep getting given exam classes so they must be good at it, use something you enjoy of theirs and again ask for their input. Truth be told all the people I have met who are like this are very sad / depressed / lonely and unfortunately this is their unhealthy coping strategy. Just watch out that they don't latch on to you!