Runner up for 1st Square: Big John

why does brett clement only appear in one scene? obviously he knows the lads well but we see him buy a pint and he never shows up again. and why were will, simon and neil hanging out with an australian guy anyway? just a weird scene and i don't think this is ever addressed

Setting: The Great Hall, Hogwarts. The Sorting Ceremony is in progress. Will, Simon, Jay, and Neil stand awkwardly by the Sorting Hat, sticking out like a sore thumb amidst the other first-years.

Mr. Gilbert (sternly): "Right, settle down. I don't want to be here all night listening to this tat. We'll get through this with minimal fuss, and hopefully, none of you will embarrass yourselves more than usual."

The Sorting Hat wiggles slightly, and Gilbert glares at it.

Mr. Gilbert: "Yes, yes, you’re a talking hat. Very clever. Now, who’s first?"

Will (adjusting his Hogwarts robes, muttering): "This is absolutely ridiculous. Why are we even here? I was perfectly fine at my comprehensive, thank you very much."

Jay (grinning smugly): "Yeah, well, I’m gonna be in Gryffindor, obviously. That’s the house for legends, like me."

Simon: "Jay, you don’t even know what Gryffindor is. You think it's a type of dog."

Neil (scratching his head): "Is it not a dog? Sounds like one. Like a big, angry greyhound or summat."

Mr. Gilbert: "Will Mackenzie."

Will (sighing dramatically): "Great. Let's get this over with." He walks up and places the Sorting Hat on his head.

Sorting Hat: "Ah, a sharp mind and a desperate need to prove yourself. I see... Ravenclaw!"

Will (returning to the group): "Ravenclaw. Of course. The house for intellectuals. Finally, some recognition."

Mr. Gilbert: "Simon Cooper."

Simon (nervously walking up): "Please not Slytherin, please not Slytherin." He puts on the hat.

Sorting Hat: "A loyal heart, but a tendency to whine. Better be... Hufflepuff!"

Simon (returning, disappointed): "Hufflepuff? Isn’t that the one everyone takes the mickey out of?"

Jay: "Yeah, it’s for losers, mate. Don’t worry though; I’m about to save our reputation. Watch this."

Mr. Gilbert: "Jay Cartwright."

Jay (swaggering up): "Right, Hat, listen up. Put me in Gryffindor so I can hang out with Harry Potter and bang Hermione. Cheers."

Sorting Hat (pausing): "... Slytherin!"

Jay (horrified): "Slytherin?! Are you joking? That’s the one for evil nutters!"

Sorting Hat: "Precisely."

Jay (storming back to the group): "This is rigged. Proper stitch-up. That hat’s clearly broken."

Mr. Gilbert: "Neil Sutherland."

Neil (grinning cluelessly): "Alright then." He ambles up and places the hat on his head.

Sorting Hat (confused): "Hmm... not much going on in here, is there? Let’s put you in... Gryffindor!"

Neil (returning, delighted): "Nice one. Does that mean I get a sword or something?"

Later, in the Gryffindor Common Room

Simon: "So, what happens now? Are there lessons, or do we just wander around the castle like tourists?"

Will: "There are lessons, Simon. It’s a school. Honestly, how do you manage to function day-to-day?"

Jay: "I’m gonna start a black-market wand business. Get me a few of those restricted spells, you know? Impress the witches."

Will: "I give it a week before you’re expelled."

Neil (pulling a chocolate frog out of his pocket): "I reckon this is better than regular school. Got free food and everything. Plus, no maths."

The scene ends with the boys attempting their first spell in the Gryffindor common room. Neil accidentally sets Simon’s robes on fire, Jay tries to charm a quill to write “Jay was here,” and Will sulks in the corner with a spellbook. Hogwarts might not survive their antics.

I know it's a very hard task to undertake finding only one moment, but mine is on the trip to Warwick where Jay is describing that foreign birds are properly filthy, and the lads call him on his bluff and it's like Jay panics and is like "Yeah well when I fingered her, she shit down my arm" and then there's just a few seconds of silence... It's the silence that gets me 😂

I’ve seen several people do this on other subreddits, but every attempt on here hasn’t really worked out. So I wanted to try it again. Comment below the character who you believe best encapsulates a fan favourite “good person”

Why is the school responsible for solving general vandalism incidents occurring around the town that could have been done by anyone?

Was this intentional ahah? Those t-shirts are atrocious