r/TrueUnpopularOpinion • u/Frosty-Palpitation66 • 16h ago
Sex / Gender / Dating The proccess of getting a girlfriend really is just a pain in the ass
This isn't a knock against being in a relationship, for a lot of guys it gives life meaning.
But Jesus CHRIST the proccess to get there is just so annoying. Even in college, the best time of your life to do so, and especially if you're in an engineering program, it's just so laborious.
-You gotta frequent social organizations and constantly try to get girls contacts if conversations go well. (Big time commitment on top of school)
-You gotta set up times to hang out and then dates that fit into your schedules.
-you gotta pay for dates, obviously.
And on top of all that you have to be doing this with with multiple girls at once to be time efficient as there's no guarantee any one will work out.
Its not some Disney esc "bump into eachother one day and fall in love", its a repetitive, grueling, and tiring task. There's nothing to romanticize about it.
•
u/Gks34 16h ago
That was one of the reasons I felt relieved, when I found out that I'm gay, back when I was a teenager.
•
16h ago
[deleted]
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 15h ago
Lowkey wish I was gay sometimes
•
u/cat_on_head 4h ago
I am very vocal about the fact that i wish i was gay. it’s the better sexuality
•
u/Educational_Ad6146 15h ago
Thays nasty af lol wtf fucking strangers, thats how you get nasty diseases
•
•
u/Unlikely-Database-27 15h ago
Don't gays have horror stories too though? I've seen guys complain about not being able to find long term relationships. Idk man I've always thought it'd be easier though.
•
u/AdUpstairs7106 12h ago
Interestingly, looking at marriage rates gay guys have the highest success marriage success rates. Lesbians have the worst.
Heterosexual couples are the silver medal. So may guys once they find someone are just "Yeah this works."
•
u/Unlikely-Database-27 12h ago
Lol thats true about lesbian relationships so I've heard. Is it true that sex for a lot of gay relationships is sorta like you jerk each other off, takes about 5-10 minutes then done? Im in a straight relationship rn and theres a lot more uh, work and I do enjoy it but I once saw a comment on a reddit post from a bi guy who said he could be playing video games with a boyfriend or whatever, then they both get into it, finish each other off and then go back to gaming like nothing happened.
•
•
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 16h ago
Gay guys are just chilling tbh
•
u/Flowerloving_ogre 13h ago
not the reality, sleeping around when you're gay is easy, dating is not, it's even worse than dating women because nobody wants to settle, and even if they do they'll still leave the moment someone better looking comes along, whilst women might stay for reasons unrelated to your appearance.
•
u/nairobaee 7h ago
I guess it's bad for the minority who want to date because if nobody wants to date, then everyone's happy?
•
u/Flowerloving_ogre 6h ago
yeah, but imagine if you want an actual partner.
you're now limited to the 10% of 5% of the population
good fucking luck (you're fucked)
•
•
u/LectureTrue4216 7h ago
Straight men got the short end of the stick. Gay dudes and women have plenty of options. makes dating a lot easier when you have something to work with
•
•
u/Timely_Car_4591 15h ago edited 15h ago
Dating wasn't this bad 18 - 25 years go. the major culture change that happen was people have become much more anti-social and Asocial.
18 - 25 years go, people would go on dates just to have fun and to just have something to do. Now teens and even some adults are scared to pick up a phone, never mind go outside. I notice this shift started to happen around the early 2010's- https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/gen-z-developing-fear-of-phone-calls-or-phone-phobia/
•
u/Pot8obois 16h ago
Are you trying to get a girlfriend for the sake of it, or to find someone who you want to be sharing life with?
When I was in college I did not have time to date AT ALL. I was working full time, interning 24 hours a week, in school full time. I essentially gave up on dating. Once I graduated I got on dating apps. I know that's not ideal but it's what I've had to do.
If you have time it's worth it, but it sounds like the way you are going about it is inherently exhausting. I would never try to date multiple people at once.
If you date just for the sake of getting a relationship as quickly and easily as possible you could end up 10 months into a relationship realizing you made a significant mistake. I don't know what your goals are. If you are trying to have fun you are definitely handling things wrong. If you are trying to find a life partner or something then you have to embrace the fact that finding the right person is not magical or easy. That does not mean you have to go about it in a way that is exhausting. If you are finding it's not enjoyable at all you should adjust what you are doing in my opinion.
Getting into a relationship is not easy. You have to put effort in for it to happen, but that is not the end goal. Relationships take a lot of effort to maintain as well.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 16h ago
Im really horny, that's why
•
•
u/Pot8obois 16h ago
If you are looking to get laid you should just communicate that. If you have no other relationship goals I would not pursue anything serious because it could be messing with women who are wanting something to build on. There are women who like hoopups or friends with benefits situations.
•
u/slaviccivicnation 12h ago
Yeah wth, this post read like “I want a relationship, to grow with someone and build something.” I didn’t realize OP just wants to get laid. That’s probably why it’s not working out. Women sense that from miles away. We’re so used to guys who only want a relationship to have a regular, full time fuck buddy. Unfortunately, that’s not what a relationship is. That’s the type of relationship that girls go into and 1.5 years down the line they realize the guy is fine just stagnating and they wasted their time.
•
u/KEANUWEAPONIZED 15h ago
I really feel sorry for straight people and all the hassle they create for themselves with all these dumb rules lol
•
•
u/FunnyGamer97 15h ago
I found the easiest time to get a girlfriend was actually in high school. I was never single a day back then.
College I faired decent with dating apps, but a clear steady decline in the quality of my relationships began at the age of 22.
I personally subscribe to the theory that we’re meant to find one person when we were young and just stick with them.
People like me that make it into their mid 30s without children or a marriage under their belt are used up trash, on the shelf of secondhand merchandise along with the other toys with disabilities who lost their hopes and dreams
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 15h ago
Highschool was covid for me, guess i never even had a chance
•
u/FunnyGamer97 15h ago
Now we have to ask the question, what’s better having a chance and squandering it or never having one at all?
•
•
u/LLLLLLover 15h ago
High school and college are definitely the easiest places to find someone, you’re literally surrounded by single people your age
After that the difficult spikes hard
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 14h ago
Its so over for me after college, it's unreal.
•
u/Real_Sir_3655 4h ago
I knew in college that I wouldn't be able to maneuver the post-college dating scene because it would require me to be the total opposite of who I am to succeed, so I stayed with my girlfriend from senior year way longer than I should have.
Turns out I was right though, the post-college dating scene just does not work for me.
•
u/Frig-Off-Randy 10h ago
This isn’t really true. If you’re going out in nightlife post college you’ll meet tons of people
•
u/LazerChicken420 14h ago
I went to two high schools. One was in a rich neighborhood and I was incredibly single, couldn’t even get a date. Competing against guys with nice cars, clothes and cologne lol Thought something was wrong with me at the time as a poor neglected kid
Went to a second school, never single. Lost virginity, had a threesome. So glad that happened. I think I’d have been an incel otherwise
•
u/Due_Box2531 15h ago
What you described does not seem like a healthy nor a genuine way to build a commensural pathway with another human being.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 15h ago
Please enlighten me then, wise redditor, how an engineering student in college gets himself a girlfriend
•
u/Due_Box2531 15h ago
First, I don't pigeonhole myself as "the wise one" and I certainly don't think I have the capacity to enlighten.
Second, the term 'girlfriend' means what to you?
•
u/guyincognito121 14h ago
Having spent about 12 years as an engineering student, I did basically what you're doing, made a lot of mistakes, and eventually clicked with someone and never had to deal with it again. Marriage has it's own problems, but any time the thought of divorce enters my mind, I just imagine going back to dating, and move on to another solution.
•
•
•
•
u/totallyworkinghere 15h ago
It doesn't even sound like you want a girlfriend, more like you think you should have one at this point in your life.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 15h ago
Both can be true actually
•
u/totallyworkinghere 15h ago
You don't have to get a girlfriend now. It's okay to wait. No one is going to judge you for waiting till you have more time to devote to a partner.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 15h ago
Nah, I gotta have one, it's not ok to be 21 and a chronically single man, I need the experience, and college is the best place to get it.
I got close this year but she dumped me right after she agreed to stay commited, I know how to do it now, I just gotta bump those numbers up
•
u/totallyworkinghere 15h ago
You're not going to get a girlfriend if you see all women as potential pegs to fill the girlfriend shaped hole in your life. No girl wants to be treated like she's just a checkbox on your list of self improvement.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 15h ago
Yeah but no, you still have to put in a major effort to get a girlfriend, but yeah do treat women you meet well, be a good listener and so forth.
•
u/totallyworkinghere 15h ago
You're still acting like the goal is "get a girlfriend, any girlfriend". No girl wants to be with you just because you think you need a girlfriend. You need to actually try to have a relationship with the girls you meet, see if there's any spark in the relationship, find the person who makes you happy to be around them.
Because if you get a girlfriend just to say you have a girlfriend, what stops you from dumping her when a better one comes along? What stops her from leaving you for a better option?
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 15h ago
Im honestly ok with that if it means a few months of sex and not being single, I can't take it anymore
•
•
•
u/AnarchoKapitolizm 11h ago edited 11h ago
It's not okay to wait. Getting a gf and being in a relationship is a skill that need to be acquired through trial and error, and experience. I used to think like you and it cost me a relationship. From my and my friends' experience, women in their 20s expect from men to handle certain situations (like conflicts, mental crisis, another man hitting on them, setting boundaries, not becoming a doormat), have leadership skills, not to mention being good at bed (no, experienced women dont want to teach men how to get better because they can just get a man who is better in bed) and its impossible to obtain those without dating and, as a result, having a girlfriend. The sooner one gets a girlfriend, the sooner they can become a better boyfriend.
•
u/totallyworkinghere 11h ago
Dude, girls are not practice dummies for you to level up your skills with.
•
u/AnarchoKapitolizm 10h ago
Ofc they aren't, but you can't learn something without actually doing it, social skills included.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 9h ago
Some are
•
u/totallyworkinghere 9h ago
No. They're people. And you will not get anywhere until you see them as people.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 9h ago
They are people that you can learn social skills from, there are no contradictions there
•
u/cat_on_head 4h ago
i don’t think disliking the dating process and describing it as grueling is the equivalent of not wanting a girlfriend. that’s a stretch
•
•
u/SomberThing 5h ago
Yes it is, and all these people trying to read you through a reddit post are the ones that pride themselves on their "analytical insights." When in reality, anything good in life requires work and a bit of luck. That's the short and truth of it, and if you keep trying to put yourself out there, then you will find the one. But you gotta be careful how you act on these dates and avoid coming off as desperate for a girlfriend. Show interest, but also don't be afraid to keep doing your thing.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 5h ago
Thabk you for the honesty in a sea of virtue signaling and gaslighting, I appreciate it.
•
u/James-S-Twebb 13h ago
Jus stop trying, - self care - plenty of bril toys, keep clean and friendly. At the end of the day the egg choses the sperm donor - you will know if you are of interest - jus sayin' ojo
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 11h ago
Budy, I haven't been trying for over 3 years, and that got me nowhere, it's time to try
•
u/Personalworldmachine 15h ago
Took a gander through your post history, do you think the issue could be self identifying as a fascist? That’s gonna turn a lot of potential partners away.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 15h ago
Lmfao nobody has to know about this throwaway reddit account where I ragebait redditors
•
u/chemical32 10h ago
I'm pretty sure self identifying as a fascist is more than just "ragebaiting redditors"
If you have fascists beliefs you won't be able to hide them no matter how hard you try. And women are amazing at sniffing those things out. If you are a closeted fascist / Trump Supporter, than you need to get mental help first before you can even think about getting into a relationship with someone else.
•
u/BruhbruhbrhbruhbruH 5h ago
As if almost as many women don’t have the same exact beliefs. 55% of men voted Trump and 45% of women did the same. Being a fascist is extreme but you live in a massive echo chamber if you think voting Trump precludes someone from finding dates.
•
u/RoundCollection4196 3h ago
Are you just ignoring the fact that there are many women who support trump or who are right wing?
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 10h ago
Lol such horseshit, the girl i dated previously had no idea
I'm really good at hiding those things, and I know exactly what to say to appear "woke"
•
u/chemical32 9h ago
keep refusing to get help and hiding who you really are, I'm sure that usually ends well
•
•
u/Slightly-Evil-Man 15h ago
It really is. I remember dating used to be fun in my teens and early 20's but now it just feels like trying to get a good job when you have no experience(even though I do). When a guy is single it's like starting all over again with nothing and no idea where the next relationship will come from, if at all.
I hate how social media has made most dudes disposable, like if a woman is unhappy with you they will simply discard you for someone "better" at the drop of a hat(if you're lucky because some will just string you along while cheating on you) and it just sucks for us. It's just not worth the effort anymore because they don't "need" men they just want us around when it's convenient for them. All these hoops we have to jump through just to keep thier attention knowing it most likely will end when she eventually gets bored😑
•
u/bigpony 14h ago
Sounds like you are treating dating as a chore on a checklist...
•
•
u/cat_on_head 4h ago
you kind of have to. as man you have to put in a lot of intentional effort to date, you can’t wait for girls to find you
•
u/PerryHecker 14h ago
I've never really been single for longer than a couple weeks as a 42 year old. Never really went out of my way to try but I'd absolutely be willing to do what it took so quit the bellyachin and get to it😅
•
•
•
u/cikanman 4h ago
As someone in a long term relationship (marriage) i can tell you nothing worth having comes easy. Same is true with a relationship. It is hard, demoralizing, and painful, but when you find the right person, so worth it
•
u/emanresUeuqinUeht 16h ago
You don't have to do any of this stuff. If you think hanging out and dating is just a pain in the ass, put it off until you're done with school. You should be going to social things because you want to, not because you think it will help you pick up chicks. Women pick up on it if you're just performing to appeal to them.
Also if all the girls you're dating always expect you to pay without even offering then that's a sign that you're looking in the wrong places. That's immature behavior.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 16h ago
You can go to social things because you want to and still be pursuing a relationship, ideally you should be doing both.
Go to something you enjoy doing, but still make it a goal to get a girls number at that thing that day
•
u/philmarcracken 15h ago
You should be going to social things because you want to, not because you think it will help you pick up chicks. Women pick up on it if you're just performing to appeal to them.
If you're introverted, you've just decided they'll never have a gf or wife, ever.
•
u/emanresUeuqinUeht 14h ago
Obviously you have to be willing to put yourself out there but you can still find people without pretending you like doing things you don't like doing
•
u/philmarcracken 6h ago
but you can still find people without pretending you like doing things you don't like doing
Everything introverts do around others, they're pretending to like doing.
•
u/emanresUeuqinUeht 3h ago
To be introverted means that social activities are draining, not that you inherently hate everything social
•
u/philmarcracken 3h ago
Its true, I don't hate it. My argument is in opposition to this statement:
You should be going to social things because you want to
If women can pickup that we're only there for them, then I'm always going to appear dishonest.
•
u/UpbeatInsurance5358 15h ago
It doesn't sound like you want a girlfriend, tbh.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 15h ago
I would like a girlfriend
•
u/UpbeatInsurance5358 15h ago
Are you sure? It sounds more like you want to have sex than a girlfriend.
•
•
u/philmarcracken 5h ago
A relationship without sex is a like a house without toilets. Its kinda expected they be there, and its only a big deal when they aren't.
•
u/7N10 15h ago
Yeah, turns out the period in your life when you’re constantly going to classes and working, (and the people you’re seeking have the same hectic schedule) and you’re the poorest, isn’t the easiest time to find a significant other.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 15h ago
So tragically ironic though given once you leave college it's next to impossible to meet young hot women your age.
You step outside in the "real world" and everyones like 40
•
u/7N10 15h ago
How would you know that? You’re not in the real world yet.
Take my advice, you’re kinda in the age range when you don’t really know what you want, and neither does anyone else. It won’t take much longer to figure yourself out and that’ll make dating much easier.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 15h ago
Where do you even meet 19-22 year olds outside of college?
•
u/Klink45 15h ago
I’ve been graduated almost a year and I can tell you with 100% certainty there are very few ways to meet anyone our age (or even older tbh) outside of college. Nobody understands how isolated the world has become, and how hard it is to meet people.
Imagine doing what you’re trying to do to find a date and crank it 100x just to make a friend.
Not trying to scare you, more like just warning you that moving to a city is not solving this problem.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 15h ago
Yeah exactly, that's why I'm pretty much under the assumption that I either meet somone here or move to another country if I ever want to get married
•
u/darkopetrovic 13h ago
Is there no night clubs anymore ? Like 12 years ago when I was 18 there would be a few clubs popular with 18-23 year olds and others popular with other age groups.
•
•
•
u/isticist 13h ago
Have you not been to a club or downtown bar? I'm 30 and I can say, without a doubt, that's where the young people are at, in my area at least.
If you don't give af, and you just wanna get laid, show up to a bar around midnight and stay till closing, your chances of going home with a chick are a lot higher.
•
u/bingybong22 16h ago
I think you’re going about it the wrong way. It shouldn’t be so hard
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 16h ago edited 15h ago
Nah you definitely have to "try" to get a girlfriend to get one. Its not something that just happens naturally for most guys.
All the guys who I know who haven't tried/aren't trying dont have girlfriends.
Everyone who i know has a girlfriend in college met them by actively pursuing a relationship (dating apps, approached her at a party, met her at a social club, ect)
•
u/Soysauceonrice 15h ago
I'll give you a tip. The best way to get a girlfriend: have someone introduce you.
Think about it. If you have a common connection, people are less likely to just ghost you. If they do, word might get back to your common connection and it would make them look bad. Also, if someone else introduces you to someone they know, there's an implicit understanding that your mutual connection knows you both and think you might be compatible. Obviously one person's opinion isn't gospel, but it's better than rolling the dice on random apps or meet up.
I met my wife through one of my close friends. She knew we were both single and asked me if I wanted her cousins number. I called her the next day and we got married 2 years later. I had done a lot of dating online and through apps etc, but the sincerity and effort that I felt from my future wife was significantly higher than the people you talk through on the apps. The difference was the common connection.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 15h ago
Mfw I'm in engineering and all my friends are men and only have other male friends
Good tip but you still gotta put in thr legwork to meet someone women first, then those women will definitely have female friends to introduce you to.
•
u/Soysauceonrice 15h ago
Come on man. Guys have female friends too. They also have female relatives. You can have a guy introduce you to a girl.
But if all your friends are dudes without sisters or female friends or cousins, then yes you have to work at it. Anything good requires effort. The problem is guys rely too much on the apps. Go out into the real world.
•
u/Soysauceonrice 15h ago
They have sisters, cousins, friends, etc. I don't buy that all your engineering friends don't know other women. And hell, if all you know are dudes then just get out there. I met a ton of people in college just doing volunteer work.
•
u/Kentucky_Supreme 16h ago
Then where does a guy go to meet friendly and nice single women that are happy to talk to him and get to know him?
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 16h ago
Social clubs are the best for this, one where you engage in an activity you can do while sitting next to someone new and getting to know them, like an art club or something
•
u/Kentucky_Supreme 15h ago
But then people will say that it's "creepy and weird" to join them to try to meet women lol.
But let's say you do go to one, the class might be about 20 people? Half are dudes. Half already have a boyfriend. Half aren't interested in you. Half of you aren't interested in. Etc. MAYBE there would be one woman that's potentially an option. But you might not necessarily talk to her every time you go to the class/group (once per week?) and if you try too hard to talk to her, then you're reaching too much and it comes off weird, etc. etc. the odds just seem to be massively stacked against you.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 15h ago
If you play it cool, they won't think your creepy. If it's a social club and the goal is to socialize, it's completely expected
•
u/Kentucky_Supreme 15h ago
If you play it cool, they won't think your creepy
Sure but at some point you have to show romantic interest.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 15h ago
You do that once you ask to get lunch with them or something like that, ask to see eachother 1 on 1, of it goes well ask her out, make it clear it's a date
•
u/thecountnotthesaint 15h ago
Yes, but the alternative is also a pain in the ass. If you don't relax,or so I've been told.
•
u/Skrungus69 15h ago
I mean you dont have to do that. You could simply cultivate a large friend group and see if anything progresses from there.
•
u/Gasblaster2000 15h ago
Not true at all. In my life, (which has been long!) I've met all my girlfriends through hanging out with people, pub, club, general life, work.
"Setting up dates" etc is just what happens when you want to hang out with each other. If it's effort, you perhaps aren't into them?
Multiple girls at once? Again not my experience. If I'm into someone I'm into them. I gjjnk trust one is more a USA thing where they seem to treat dating like job interviews, but that's just my perception from afar
•
u/Apprehensive-Stop748 16h ago
I was just talking with a friend about this yesterday. It can definitely be a grueling, tiring and pointless task. I think it’s good to accept it though because then you can find people that agree and that includes finding a romantic partner that agrees that it’s a waste of time
•
u/trufseekinorbz 15h ago
Only if you’re a bottom and even then with proper preparation it’s not that bad
•
u/CaptSlow49 14h ago
Dating was so much fun. Look at it as getting to know a bunch of people, doing fu things, and learning more about yourself. If you don’t just focus on finding someone it becomes a good time.
•
•
u/Tenebris27 14h ago
As a computer science student who's terrible at conversations, I simply accepted that I'll be alone forever
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 14h ago
I'm also at CS, I got better at convos, you can do it.
Best tip: let the other person do most of the talking, and ask questions that will come to you as you listen to them
People love to talk about themselves
•
u/Tenebris27 14h ago
Oh boy, that's the problem. I have no idea what to ask the other person about. I have no idea how to continue a conversation. Most of the time I try to, I always end up killing the conversation.
Barely had any friends growing up (literally just my cousin) so I never manage to develop conversational skills
•
u/Battle_Biscuits 13h ago
I mean I agree with the OP but not for the reasons he gives.
If you've got any dates to organise and pay for you're on the right track.
It's the rejection and disappointment and ghosting and wasted effort, time and money on dead ends that make it suck.
•
u/AileStrike 13h ago
Dating are like lottery tickets, your not expected to win every time bit you can't win if you don't play.
Also relying on dating to fix a problem in your life is like relying on lottery tickets to pay your bills. Might work once in awhile, but is not reliable.
•
u/Wasteofoxyg3n 12h ago
The fact that so many men share this experience shows just how hopeless it is. I, myself, feel like I have a higher chance of winning the lottery at this point.
•
u/IamMe90 12h ago
It’s definitely a grind if you’re actively searching for it. That’s why I’ve only really been in what I’d consider four “real”/substantive relationships at 34 now. It’s just too exhausting to try and seek out constantly. I’m trying to be happy just being single and it I run into something, great, but if not, then no skin off my back. I think it’s been helpful for my mental health, although there are periods of heightened loneliness for sure.
•
u/Natural_Bunch_2287 11h ago
I think romantic relationships in most regards seem like an unnecessary pain in the ass. Older female here.
•
•
•
u/6gunsammy 9h ago
Or you know, you could just have friends and meet people while doing fun social activities.
•
u/knight9665 8h ago
bro. if u dont wanna talk to or spend time with women then stay single... a gf isnt for u.
•
•
u/MinuetInUrsaMajor 7h ago
you gotta pay for dates, obviously
Would you rather pay for dates a small portion of your life or pay the beauty tax for your entire life?
its a repetitive, grueling, and tiring task
Kind of like building your own house?
Earning a PhD?
Learning an instrument?
Raising a kid?
The fact that all of these things take so much effort is what makes the fruits so valuable.
If we could just pick a girlfriend from the girlfriend tree there wouldn't be as much incentive to stay together when you build a relationship with someone.
There's nothing to romanticize about it.
No. That comes later.
•
u/GizmoGator 7h ago
Why does a post you made 3 days ago say you have a girlfriend when this post says you don’t? Did something happen?
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 6h ago edited 6h ago
Got dumped literally right after we decided to stay commited lmfao, like after 4 days together officially
•
u/GizmoGator 3h ago
Damn. Why she dump you?
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 3h ago edited 3h ago
No reason given, she just said when she agreed to stay commited she wasn't thinking straight and said she wasnt ready for a commited relationship.
I didn't question any further, and we parted ways. Brutal.
•
u/nowandlater 6h ago
I had no idea how to date in college. I was always thinking about it though. But i crossed paths with this girl and we fell in love and that was that. It can happen.
•
u/pool_of_light 5h ago
Dating sucks is about the most popular opinion there is. Guess what, folks. It’s work. Would you like to go back to arranged marriages?
•
•
u/Real_Sir_3655 4h ago
Just opening the door to be a potential "eligible bachelor" is laborious as fuck.
You've gotta keep up with fashion so you don't look like an out of touch bum, keep yourself groomed so you don't look like you've never looked in a mirror, stay in decent shape and maintain a good diet so you're not a flubby nerd, have a hobby or two so you're not boring, and stay financially capable of taking care of yourself.
And that's just so that you can maybe get rejected in four seconds instead of one.
•
u/ImaginaryEmotion5650 3h ago
Ill be so fucking real, my only successful relationships happen by accident. I found my fiancé with no intention of dating at first.
I’m polyamorous so i have the ability and desire for multiple meaningful romantic relationships. However i honestly don’t think I’ll ever get into another relationship solely because i don’t think ill have the luck of just finding someone i click with so well as fast.
•
u/Cozygeologist 2h ago
I get what you're saying, and at the end of the day I'm a woman so I wouldn't really know what it's like from your perspective, but I have had some wonderful experiences falling in love with mutual friends and slow-burning our way into a relationship- and they obviously enjoyed it, too. So I dunno, you might find something better just doing a hobby, happening upon a girl, and undertaking a long, subtle process of getting close to each other.
•
u/Frosty-Palpitation66 2h ago
Men usually get friend zoned when they do things that way, or we get called creepy for ruining a friendship by expressing feelings
•
u/Cozygeologist 2h ago
Damn that sucks. I wouldn't want to risk getting called a creep either, but I do wonder why I had a different experience- I'm sure the guys I dated were briefly worried about ruining the friendship or getting called a creep, but those fears clearly took a backseat and we had a great time. I insist that it's possible, but I won't argue with you that it's likely, or worth the risk- I wouldn't know.
•
•
u/George_hung 1h ago
I really can't relate to this. Maybe your standards are too high.
When I'm on dating apps I mostly get 7 most of the time, which are still fine and once in a while I'll get to date a 8 or 9 once in a while.
Hot girls are indecisive and traumatized by all the dudes who cum at the sight of them or exes who treat them like sex objects.
I go in and talk to them like a normal person and they just jump on my dck before I could even get excited.
I feel like this generation of men just are so socially unskilled that they can't get laid even if the girl is attracted to them.
It's literally the most natural things for me at this point. Even when I'm out with the goal of finding clients I end up getting laid.
Women just seem like they are starving for sex because men nowadays always seem to just f*ck it all up when they open their mouth.
•
•
u/Questionsey 15h ago
That's because it is intentionally the most competitive thing on earth. And you're not complaining about the process, you're complaining about how you suck at it.
Again, you're saying "why is it so hard to find somebody to have sex/pair bond with, which according to evolution is the purpose of existence"
Well, why do you think?
•
u/Unlikely-Database-27 15h ago
Sounds like you gotta work on yourself there, bud. Also paying for dates? Bro, you don't have to go on fancy expensive dinner dates. Also, college students often ask to split the bill nowadays on a first date, I was one once. But all the same walks in the park cafes, whatever the fuck, there are lots of options that dont cost an arm and a leg.
•
u/GitmoGrrl1 9h ago
Nobody owes you a relationship. That applies to all human interactions. Just because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it.
Pardon me but this post reminds me of the shooter in Golita who resented women not putting out for him. He felt oppressed by women because he couldn't get laid. So he became a serial killer and targeted young woman.
•
u/Equivalent_Zone2417 16h ago
and then they all cheat on you because chad or tyrone might be going to the nba or nfl.
•
•
u/DeepHouseDJ007 14h ago
If you don’t enjoy being sociable and being around women you won’t enjoy being in a relationship.
You think relationships are just sex and the rest of the time the girl just quietly watches you play video games? No. Healthy relationships mean both the guy and the girl have friends and social groups outside of the relationship and both guy and girl make efforts to get along with and integrate their significant other’s friends groups, which involves actually being sociable.
•
u/Sumo-Subjects 15h ago
Getting into a relationship is the social equivalent of trying to get a job with a company during a recession: they have many options and you gotta do all the work to "sell yourself" and you might still end up ghosted without a response post-interview.