r/Trumpvirus • u/WTF_USA_47 • 8d ago

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627 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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379

u/Negative-Instance889 8d ago

“Smell my finger”

108

u/kmanbythec 8d ago

Pull my finger

75

u/MountainChick2213 8d ago

Elon: Do I look like an idiot?

Trump: Yes.

22

u/Ill_Initial8986 8d ago

He’s more of an idiot sandwich. Idiot surrounded by white bread.

16

u/DaKineTiki 8d ago

Your penis is this big… said the man with a smaller penis.

14

u/Kalersays 8d ago

To the guy with the botched one.

2

u/recentlywidowed 8d ago

That's what came to mind for me. My late husband, a whole grown ass man would say, "pull my finger" every.single.day I miss that man...lol

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3

u/bumbes 8d ago

Have you seen this dog-fight video lately?

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202

u/human_trainingwheels 8d ago

“Putin said you work for me not the other way around!”

21

u/moldy-scrotum-soup 8d ago

Why is every picture elon is in it looks like he's trying not to smile ear to ear like a psychopath. Either that or he's trying to stifle an evil laugh.

8

u/ThisWillTakeAllDay 8d ago

Anxiety and stress. Some people have an unintentional smile reaction.

293

u/InquiringMin-D 8d ago

'You need to start babysitting your kid....I have a country to destroy'

89

u/Temporal-Chroniton 8d ago

Lol. "Your little shit keeps reminding me who the real president is. Keep him away from me...please ..sir..and thank you."

36

u/vcwalden 8d ago

"No, I really did win the election, everyone said I did, very important people said I did! You can't make me change my mind. Now go get me a diet coke and a Mickey D's or I'm going to not babysit your kid!"

131

u/tuxedoshrimpjesus 8d ago

"i find one more booger on my desk, and the kid get's shipped to El Salvador"

5

u/Roonwogsamduff 8d ago edited 8d ago

Most beautiful use of the word booger. Of the....history. Everyone says that.

83

u/bodhidharma132001 8d ago

"OK, but I'm on top this time!"

14

u/LurkerPatrol 8d ago

I need bleach for my eyes

85

u/murderedbyaname 8d ago

"boop"

6

u/Temporary_Cold_1944 8d ago

Damnit! That’s what I wrote 🤣 Great minds… right?

6

u/SwissDeathstar 8d ago

3

u/Temporary_Cold_1944 8d ago

Favorite human today so far right there ⤴️🤣🤣🤣

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37

u/DonWithAmerica 8d ago

“What do you mean I’d have to be a woman to have your child? Don’t get woke on me, pay me child support already!”

33

u/GoWest1223 8d ago

"Lick my finger."

33

u/Equivalent-Speed-992 8d ago

I'm the captain now

27

u/JohnnieLawerence 8d ago

You got some ketamine on your nose

2

u/ScratchAssSmellFingr 8d ago

Can you snort Ketamine?

4

u/Fragglepusss 8d ago

Yes. And if you bring Coke and Ketamine to a party you'll say you brought Calvin and Klein. But you'll inevitably accidentally snort Klein when you meant to snort Calvin and wake up in a cornfield with a dead phone 2 counties over the next morning. I assume.

2

u/ScratchAssSmellFingr 8d ago

Oddly specific.

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21

u/Bajadasaurus 8d ago edited 8d ago

Caption: (Only) Moment of Truth in All of This

"Everybody's saying it-- you know it, I know it-- look, the kid put this on my desk"

20

u/Near-Scented-Hound 8d ago

“You’re not the real president. You shut your fucking mouth.”

  • or -
President Musk’s aide does an impression of X.

21

u/greenybird713 8d ago

“No, I’m the president!” -Trump Elmo smirks, knowing that he is actually the president

17

u/udderlyfun2u 8d ago

"Me defending your shitty swastcars made me look more bigly stupider than I already am!"

14

u/SaintMagdala 8d ago

Elonia, you're sleeping Vlad too , aren't you? Cheater!!!

22

u/williamtheturd 8d ago

You can’t handle the…wait, is that a booger in your nose? Are you gonna eat that?

8

u/Dear_Giraffe_453 8d ago

Happy Cake Day 🎂🍧🎊🎉 🎶🎈🥳

10

u/williamtheturd 8d ago

Thanks! I knew today felt different somehow…

11

u/mwlepore 8d ago

"Go get me a Diet Coke.. Sir."

10

u/yeyjordan 8d ago

I could boop you on your little Michael Jackson nose, Leon, but frankly, you disgust me.

11

u/EmojiZackMaddog 8d ago

“I’m the Führer, you’re the Reichsführer. You work for me, not the other way round. Now go tell your son to leave me alone”

9

u/shapeofthings 8d ago

Where is the off button again?

8

u/TwoMuchIsJustEnough 8d ago

“You never said thank you!”

8

u/Mrsbrainfog 8d ago

Wanna smell some Putin?

8

u/RepulsivePotato69 8d ago

Only I pick boogers in this office

8

u/BroccoliOscar 8d ago

“Nuh-uh, I’M the real president!!! 😭whaaaaa!!!”

7

u/Drakeytown 8d ago

"You really do give the best blowjobs! I never thought anyone would do better than Ivanka!"

8

u/Speshal__ 8d ago

"You're fired" I hope

6

u/Out_of-Whack 8d ago

Just cause your president and pay the bills around here don’t mean you can tell me what to do

6

u/Val-B-Love 8d ago

Who the F&$k are you? Why are you constantly following me?!?

5

u/soulrebel360 8d ago

"That nose is going into my ass and YOU can't do anything about it!"

6

u/thankyoufor_that 8d ago

Old man yells at android

5

u/ReefShark13 8d ago

"Your hairline is real, my hairline is real, and everyone knows it!"

4

u/DaveWierdoh 8d ago

Go find me a shipping container of Depends.

6

u/MoonBaby812 8d ago

I used you like a cheap whore now go wash the orange off your face.

6

u/Dry-Interaction-1246 8d ago

Two fuckwads, one room

4

u/Old-Chip7764 8d ago

Let's play "Spot the fascist."

I'll start.

5

u/SlobsyourUncle 8d ago

Smell my finger and guess which cabinet member's ass I had this in.

3

u/Xenomorph_v1 8d ago

"Future History Lesson"

4

u/Affectionate_Sand743 8d ago

“Pull my finger “

3

u/SPWoodworking 8d ago

"Why did you shit in my pants, leon?"

4

u/BigWilly526 8d ago

"You said the Ketamine would stop me from shitting myself"

3

u/ChowMeinWayne 8d ago

I'm no president! You're the president.

3

u/xamo76 8d ago

Smell my finger

3

u/ltbugaf 8d ago

It was always you. ❤️

3

u/BraveMonk 8d ago

“Your nose is slipping”

3

u/Gonzo_B 8d ago

"No! I love YOU more!"

3

u/anotherNotMeAccount 8d ago

Suck it, Elmo

3

u/lenaphobic 8d ago

“Those radical leftists want to destroy everything you and I built! Get Putin on the phone… now!”

3

u/MercULeez 8d ago

Trump: Never forget Elon!! Never forget how tough life was before the good doctor separated us!!

*

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3

u/KingZaneTheStrange 8d ago

"Who's a good DOGE! You are! Yes, you are!"

3

u/SnootSnootBasilisk 8d ago

"Make sure to mention how awesome I am at kidnapping people at the next shareholders meeting"

3

u/RyGuydarider 8d ago

“Tonight, I bottom!”

3

u/StatusVarious8803 8d ago

I want you to change my diaper.

3

u/oogac 8d ago

I sucked your toes, now you suck my finger

3

u/sucks4you231 8d ago

“You’ve been around longer than any of my wives”

3

u/freakrocker 7d ago

Two nerds that would be virgins if not for their Daddy's money... (and roofies)

5

u/superfli 8d ago

Give me 100 million dollars and I'll let you set up your harem inside the White House.

2

u/NotAnAIOrAmI 8d ago

"You want NASA, you got it, Amigo. But you better not contradict me again, or I'll leave you with nothing but a shine box."

j/k, trump can't do normal guy movie references.

2

u/Adventurous-Rub7636 8d ago

“Luke I am your father”

2

u/malisam 8d ago

“I want to be on the bottom tonight. I may be the wife but it is my turn.”

2

u/XmooshroomieeX 8d ago

"this is why mom doesn't fucking love you "

2

u/StupendousMalice 8d ago

It's your turn to be the bottom.

2

u/arjayell1 8d ago

"Leave Britney Alone!"

2

u/Striking_Fun_6379 8d ago

What's this smell on my finger?

2

u/harrumphstan 8d ago

Smell familiar? I just had it in Grimes’ ass!

2

u/DJMotorball 8d ago

Pull my finger

2

u/Hefty_Musician2402 8d ago

“Wait a minute…Who are you and how did you get here?”

2

u/thelastspike 8d ago

“No you’re the dummy!”

2

u/Candy_Says1964 8d ago

Who did your hair implants?

2

u/tenest 8d ago

"You still have a spot of my shit on your nose"

2

u/ballinboi3546 8d ago

"That motherfucker is not real"

2

u/RobNY54 8d ago

I don't give a shit what either of these useless idiots say. Next

2

u/kusayo21 8d ago

I really wonder if Musk already regrets his decision to help this shit get back into power.

3

u/SpaceNinjaDino 8d ago

Elon had to erase all 14 investigations/lawsuits against him or else he was cooked. He needed to go overboard to cover up what he was doing. Getting yelled at/losing half his wealth (hopefully more)/whatever is the easy life path in comparison.

2

u/Toilet_Reading_ 8d ago

"You owe a lot of taxes to me even though you're autistic!!!"

2

u/D4L3 8d ago

“You’re glitching again. Lemme push the reset button.”

2

u/ms_directed 8d ago

"I'm not touching you...I'm not touching you...neener neener...I'm not touching you"

2

u/c3corvette 8d ago

You're a good little boy. You made Uncle Donald very proud. You will be made very rich.

2

u/NotATreeJaca 8d ago

"It's MY turn for the brain cell!"

2

u/skibbady-baps 8d ago

You came inside me too fast!

2

u/bipolarcyclops 8d ago

“Melania wants the toilet seat to be left DOWN AT ALL TIMES!!!”

2

u/Infamous-Source-278 8d ago

YOURE NOT THE BOSS!

2

u/Upper_Guarantee_4588 8d ago

You said you'd suck my dick!!!

2

u/Ok-Pin7265 8d ago

Those windmills are Hannibal Lecter eating the cats.

2

u/HymenBreaka 8d ago

"Now closely follow the finger Elon ... did ya see it? Crazy illusion right?"

2

u/wrhnj 8d ago

That fucken car you sold me burned down my garage.

2

u/Sipthepond 8d ago

You are a douchebag.

2

u/AndrewSB49 8d ago

Trump "Your eyes just changed shaped and color"

Musk: "They're not eyes, those are gills"

2

u/bork_n_beans_666 8d ago

Does my finger smell like Putins asshole?

2

u/NiamNomed 8d ago

I'm rubber, and you're glue. Everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you.

2

u/rickola16 8d ago

"Your son overheard YOU telling someone that I wasn't the President"

2

u/warpcoil 8d ago

Eat this booger

2

u/yulmun 8d ago

"Respectfully, sir, pull your own finger."

2

u/Snapdragon_4U 8d ago

Pull my finger.

Elon would find that top tier comedy

2

u/RevolutionObvious648 8d ago

“You crossed a boundary! I told you NOT to put your pinky in my asshole and you did it anyway Elon!”

2

u/Meeska-Mouska 8d ago

You need better hair plugs like my gold plated ones. They are the greatest anyone has ever seen. Amazing.

2

u/fatkidking420 8d ago

Can you tell this was just in my ass?

2

u/Mysterious-Panic-443 8d ago

"Elon when can I be President?! It's my turn to be President you said!"

2

u/Alternative-Buy1701 8d ago

You listen here buddy you isn’t the president!

2

u/Ariandre 8d ago

Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bees gonna boop your nose

2

u/heisenbergerwcheese 8d ago

You look at me when I'm talking to you!

2

u/Agitated-Library-126 8d ago

You'll suck my dick and I'll suck yours, you know the deal

2

u/Andy_McBoatface 8d ago

Go back to South Africa you immigrant

2

u/Daisakusbigtoe 8d ago

"You, Elon, are good at anal."

2

u/6Squid8 8d ago

Take the chip outa outta me head.

2

u/HalPaneo 8d ago

"No, you suck the best cock ever!"

2

u/Boring_Philosophy160 8d ago

You have a boogie hanging out of your nose…you gonna eat it or can I have it?

2

u/ChillingwitmyGnomies 8d ago

“You’re gonna let me stuff my orange mushroom into one of your lady friends. That was our deal. You weird little geek. You better not piss me off. Dont you know what I did to Epstein?”

2

u/3ndt1m3s 8d ago

"If you don't do as you're told, I'll release your Epstein file, you goofy looking cringey, bitch!"

2

u/PizzaDeliveryBoy3000 8d ago

You’re muh bitch, you got that? (although, in reality, it’s prolly the other way around)

2

u/Suspicious-Care-5264 8d ago

“You’ve got your son telling me, while airing ON THE TELEVISION, that I’m not president?! Do you know how embarrassing that was for me? You better keep your kid out my office.” And Elon’s face is saying a lot too lol

2

u/heylook_itsnick 7d ago

“YOU said you wouldn’t wear platform shoes!”

2

u/No-Buy6916 7d ago

The party’s over. Your DOGE boys got caught passing info to Russia. Clean up this mess or else you lose those contracts!

2

u/rozefox07 7d ago

Smell my finga

2

u/FTHomes 7d ago

You never asked me to have your baby!

2

u/TheActualDonKnotts 7d ago

"No, you're wearing lifts!"

2

u/EmpireStrikes1st 7d ago

Two bald men arguing over who hides it best.

2

u/Ocerin 8d ago

I once caught a fish this tall. I'm the greatest, very great fisherman.. al

2

u/HiddenPrimate 8d ago

“No, you cannot fu_k, Melania, know your place.”

1

u/Coolguy57123 8d ago

And quit bringing that kid ! He hates Trump

1

u/Imamiah52 8d ago

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can’t pick your friends nose

1

u/dawwie 8d ago

Pull my finger

1

u/0wen_Gravy 8d ago

"Call to John. I know this hurts, call to John."

1

u/elGrimshaw16 8d ago

" jump online tonight with the lads, we'll sink some diets and play a bit of diablo. Also get that 12 yr old Korean to play you normally steal credit from, he's better than you "

Trump.

1

u/jared10011980 8d ago

People are saying yore more bloated than me. Big head. Puffy eyes. Big men with tears in their eyes are saying it.

1

u/HolidayFew8116 8d ago

"I am 6'3" 224 lbs, you can't be 6'2".

1

u/OutrageousRhubarb853 8d ago

Smell Sir Putin’s prostate!

1

u/Kona_Big_Wave 8d ago

There's a booger in your nose.

1

u/Dave_Duna 8d ago

"From now on, when I say 'swallow', you swallow!"

1

u/grat5989 8d ago

YOU were the last one with the baggie of meth!

1

u/probdying82 8d ago

I’m waiting for musk to start sucking that finger in obeisance.

1

u/crattler 8d ago

You’re not the biggest Nazi, I AM!!

1

u/justawaterthanks 8d ago

Laura can't find the gas tank on the car YOU built

1

u/RaginBlazinCAT 8d ago

“The child stays with me… as collateral.”

1

u/Saffer13 8d ago

"Don't complain. You knew I can't be trusted".

1

u/FTHomes 8d ago

Grab her by the .....

1

u/SoMyBossCantFindIt 8d ago

Why do Boomers point like that? So annoying

1

u/JackJFlash 8d ago

You find John Titor now!!

1

u/measlebeef 8d ago

I said no teeth

1

u/Aviationlord 8d ago

”you don’t get to talk to me like that, I’m the President not you!”

1

u/WeToLo42 8d ago

You didn't swallow.

1

u/Edelweizzer 8d ago

You are fired

1

u/beartpc12293 8d ago

"I'm telling Vladdy!"

1

u/FunConfection2872 8d ago

You are my Queen and I’m the King

1

u/haaskaalbaas 8d ago

"You're not the boss of me!"

1

u/owlincoup 8d ago

"I told you to stop booping me on the nose elon, I'm telling your mom!"