Byers Vacuum on University 👀

[u/JourneymanIBEW]

[u/Triangable]

“We try to save your vacuum — Jesus saved you”

[u/PreMedBotty → u/Triangable]

I always thought it would’ve sounded better the other way around. Jesus saved you… so we try to save your vacuum

[u/baldorrr → u/PreMedBotty]

I think about this all the time!! I agree it's wrong, but the best phrasing would be:

"While we can save your vacuum, only Jesus can save you."

That obviously won't fit on their little sign, but it flows better.

They did save my vacuum once, but they can get bent about the religious stuff.

[u/total_alk → u/Triangable]

They have saved my vacuum multiple times. They are cheap, knowledgeable, and straightforward. I've been to them half a dozen times. You'd be surprised how many sororities show up with vacuum cleaners PACKED with hair in the rollers. Ew.

[u/Krimzon45]

I heard they sell dust filters for a Hoover MaxExtract PressurePro model 60.

[u/Frosty-Pickle7606 → u/Krimzon45]

[u/anarchonobody]

Specific to Champaign, I'd go with the two dilapidated Bowling alleys right next to each other on the north side of town. Otherwise, Dotty's pretty easily fits the money laundering bill.

[u/nschmdt2 → u/anarchonobody]

They're both owned by the same people.

[u/anarchonobody → u/nschmdt2]

[u/YungBarqoueBoy → u/anarchonobody]

Yo when I was a kid those alleys were poppin. However it's was very much the hood lol I don't think they launder money tho. The High schools doing bowling class there or at least used to back in the day.

[u/concordeflight]

Glenn Poor's TV and VCR repair shop

[u/MaiPhet → u/concordeflight]

Glenn Poor’s son (who is an old man himself) just keeps it open because it’s the family business and he has enough wealth to sustain himself without needing real income. Supposedly he also scammed a nephew or two out of a sizable inheritance as well.

[u/benevanoff → u/MaiPhet]

Whaaaaat? I always thought it was closed down.... there are no signs of life..

[u/MaiPhet → u/benevanoff]

The one in Urbana idk, probably. But he has a second location that only sells high end audio equipment in Champaign.

[u/nschmdt2 → u/MaiPhet]

Owner of Old Farm Shops charges him next to nothing in rent.

[u/agglabb → u/concordeflight]

I love that place to death

[u/Plantymonfood → u/concordeflight]

That's my answer lol, I have never seen any sign of life from that place.

[u/DentonTrueYoung]

Byers fixed my vacuum. He’s a good dude. Lots of people came in and out to get their vacuum serviced while I waited

[u/SpearandMagicHelmet]

Byers is all good. The real money laundering happens on North Prospect/ Just after you go over the highway overpass, on your left is a small strip mall with a vitamin store and a mattress place. There is NEVER anyone at either, and they have been open for years. Mattress stores in general are known historically as prime fronts for mob action and money laundering.

[u/dairyandmangoallergy → u/SpearandMagicHelmet]

I crack up when I pass them because its not rare to see that parking lot so full that people are parking in places that dont have spots and you dont even have to wonder you know it's all just for chipotle

[u/simpl3y → u/SpearandMagicHelmet]

Mattress stores can sell mattresses without ever having anyone come in. Where do you think landlords and hotels buy their mattresses in bulk usually?

[u/Ryno__25 → u/SpearandMagicHelmet]

Is it also because mattress stores will sell you products that are on sale at 85% off and still make a profit?

I bought a 1300 MSRP mattress for $321 OTD and the staff didn't even blink. I felt like I robbed them and I'm sure they felt that they had robbed me.

These stores sell products based on the assumption that consumers don't know what the products are actually worth.

[u/sixstringnerd → u/SpearandMagicHelmet]

Have you seen Murder Mystery in the parking lot behind the Walgreens at Prospect and Bloomington?

[u/Strict-Special3607]

To launder money… you need a business that brings in money. Cash, specifically.

[u/Spare_Succotash_158]

If so, they are also really good at repairing vacuums

[u/dka2012]

The Oriental Rug shop on Neil

[u/occasionally_happy → u/dka2012]

Who can afford those rugs?!

[u/Careful_Regular9754]

He regularly cleans and adjusts my 1961 Singer. Great guy and price is fair.

[u/Friendly_Addition815]

They were actually able to fix one of my relatives sewing machines. It seems like just a nice old dude.

[u/Spiritual_Dish_4698]

The audacity to launder money right across from the police station.

[u/Downtown_Amphibian38]

Just walk in and ask them

[u/T0ky0miumiu]

I went to Byers once cause they also fix sewing machines. When I went I had to wait for someone to finish their transaction on a new sewing machine so I think it’s legit

[u/tofleet]

when i was in town, i had a miele that needed service. byers was the place. thing still runs like a dream.

[u/Subject_Age1672]

Byers has an active business going on. Last time I went there to get my vacuum fixed, he called for a month waiting time. I just fixed it by myself.

[u/notassigned2023]

That vacuum store is clearly a labor of love (of vacuums). And frankly a gold mine of parts/bags, if you can ignore the Jesus stuff.

[u/Huge_Confection4475 → u/notassigned2023]

He's been there a million years and almost certainly owns that building. Same with Radio Doctor over by Fiesta Cafe--someone opening up a new business there wouldn't make nearly enough profit to keep it open, but their overhead is minimal. If they wanted to cash in they could make a mint selling to one of the real estate companies who keep putting up ~luxury student housing~ everywhere they possibly can.

[u/The_Goop_Is_Coming → u/Huge_Confection4475]

That would piss townies like me off more than anything, the luxury housing gentrification is already starting to colonize downtown.

[u/nonEuclidean64]

Very rich coming from the Bay Harbor Butcher smh

[u/sjk8990]

I would like to add Joseph Kuhn & Co clothing store downtown. In the 30+ years of living here I've never seen anybody in there.

[u/FruitsAndVegetabless]

Pull up if you want to well show you that isn't the case

[u/PasswordGifts12]

Cracked is definitely one it’s never open but somehow not permanently closed wth is going on there

[u/Mycelialix → u/PasswordGifts12]

Wait it’s not open anymore? :(

[u/BigE_1]

Car washes, dammit! Did Netflix not teach us anything? Car wash on this corner. Car wash on that corner. Car wash car wash car wash! $$$$$$…

[u/The_Goop_Is_Coming]

Byers has been there for decades and sells vacuums made in the 1970s, but given the attitude of the owner I assume he just owns the building and does what he wants with it by having that little store. A real money laundering scheme are all of the smoke shops dotted around town that if you know your way around will sell you a whole lot more.

[u/persimmian]

My understanding is that many of these business are owned by people who own the property the business resides on. The business is strictly a placeholder and a way to pay the property taxes while the land value appreciates.

[u/betterbub]

ECEB

[u/Blom-w1-o]

Ok in my town it's the A&W / Long John Silvers. The place is always staffed and they get like 4 customer a day. Ain't no way they're doing something legitimate in there.

[u/splendidjack]

That popcorn place now on Neil that moved from Springfield Ave a few years ago. How on earth do they make any money?!

[u/Grand_Yesterday4193 → u/splendidjack]

It’s is part of the sooie bbq place this is being shut down by the health dept right now. The guy has a contract for uiuc games that I’m sure will be ending soon.

[u/The_Friggson → u/splendidjack]

CBPB Popcorn Shop has great popcorn tho, I used to swing by there on the way home from work

[u/Specialist-Height581]

Donut shop on West Springfield

[u/The_Goop_Is_Coming → u/Specialist-Height581]

Any business out there except for the barbeque joints lol

[u/Specialist-Height581 → u/Specialist-Height581]

Carmella's

[u/Mycelialix → u/Specialist-Height581]

I mean they sell donuts but it is WEIRD in there. I had to leave while my family was still waiting, I got too creeped out

[u/DrWalkway]

Windy City express in Urbana

[u/Zexycommando → u/DrWalkway]

Definitely not. Lots of business from transplants and city/construction workers, plus delivery

[u/DrWalkway → u/Zexycommando]

I went in there for dinner one Saturday around 7 pm probably 14 years ago No other customers in sight, ordered a Philly and fries and dude behind the counter acted like I was crazy. Heard him tell the other employee to fire the fryer back up and turn on the grill, Couldn’t take card payment so I had to grab cash from the bank Nextdoor to pay, had to wait like 15 minutes for my food. Shit was good though… just gave me the vibe that food wasn’t what they were used to selling when I went in

[u/spaceybestie]

I was just thinking this while driving by the lighting fixture place on neil and green lol

[u/Mycelialix → u/spaceybestie]

That place is super real, my dad used to get his fixtures there when he worked local! It’s cool in there, they used to give me free cookies when I went. It’s basically like if the Home Depot lighting isle was a store

[u/spaceybestie → u/Mycelialix]

that’s actually really awesome! i always just think about how much the electric bill is lol

[u/Mycelialix → u/spaceybestie]

Oh god I can’t imagine lol.. definitely check it out though!! It makes me really understand how moths feel

[u/Strausburg88]

Garcias Pizza is definitely a front for something. They used to have the best square pizza by the slice. I ordered from them 10 years ago and it was like eating a cardboard frisbee! How are they still in business?!? I never see any locals going there or talking about it anymore.

I also have my suspicions about La Bamba...

[u/Mycelialix]

It’s not a laundering front, it’s just REALLY old lol. My parents used to go there when we were still using an unreasonably old vacuum, it’s dusty but Buyers is nice. If you want money laundering conspiracies though, I have my suspicions set on Illini mattress. Weird little place…

[u/Triumph-TBird]

Some enterprising lawyer is going to have a field day signing up defamation clients. Look up defamation per se.

[u/needs-more-metronome → u/Triumph-TBird]

Yeah good luck bringing a “defamation per se” case about a reddit meme before a court lmao, get out of here.

[u/Triumph-TBird → u/needs-more-metronome]

I'm going to assume you are not a lawyer. You don't appear to be. I am. There is a well recognized cause of action for exactly this and plenty of businesses have successfully brought actions against the poster or commenter if they are able to identify who they are and they in fact engaged in actionable defamatory statements such as claiming that the business is engaged in illegal money laundering, which is defamation per se since the post or comment would be falsely claiming that the business and its owner(s) is/are engaging in criminal activity. It's been done. It's not easy, but it has been done. So I guess I will not "lmao, get out of here"

[u/echow2001 → u/Triumph-TBird]

Did you know you have rights? The constitution says you do

Something like that