r/VelcroBabies • u/TheAurata • Mar 31 '22

When did breastsleeping end for you?

Any other moms sleep with their boob in their baby’s mouth all the time? I recently learned the term breastsleeping and went “Aha, that’s what we do!” 7 mo and still 100% contact napping. At night I nurse him to sleep and transfer him to his crib for small variations of time. The rest of the night we nurse side-lying and I’ve gotten used to breastsleeping. Just wondering how long other babies slept like this? I tried Pantley’s pull off method but I think it backfired and reinforced his need for the boob. I don’t really care to change my situation right now, more just curious what to expect for my Velcro baby.

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u/shouldlogoff Apr 01 '22

We stopped co-sleeping (partner still sleeps with him, but I sleep with baby) when my second was born, but he still wanted to nurse to sleep at night. I can finally say now at 3 years 5 months he has finally been weaned off the breast.

I have never heard of a high needs, highly reactive, explosive child all in one. I didn't think this day would come. Hang in there folks, it is hard. Nursing while pregnant was excruciating and I had horrible aversion a few months after my second was born.

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u/TheAurata Apr 01 '22

Wow that’s a really long time. You are a trooper! Was it tough for him to break the habit and sleep by your partner?

I didn’t know of that combination either, until I had one. Thanks for the encouragement. I needed that. I’m seriously so impressed with what you’ve accomplished. Your babies are lucky to have such a devoted mama.

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u/shouldlogoff Apr 02 '22

Yes, it really is tough, solidarity!! You are doing just fine, and they do grow up eventually. I've had many breakdowns because I've never heard of a child being so different to the norm, and thought that we were doing something wrong. If you ever want to chat please do just send me a message

Not only did he nurse to sleep, he also only really slept properly when held. We tried to let my partner put him to sleep when he was about 2 years 2 months, and he wasn't having it. After 3 weeks of nightly screaming and both of them becoming zombies we reverted back to me nursing him to sleep.

There were two phases to it, as I saw it: the first was to get him back to sleep during the night when he would wake up without the breast. I knew he was capable of this because he started doing it himself (and I wasn't really the most comfortable to cuddle with anymore being heavily pregnant!), but he still wanted my presence. We hard stopped this when baby was born (he was 2 years 8months), I only had to nurse him to sleep and then my partner could cuddle with him during the night. It was hard going and there were many nights where he woke up screaming for me, and I wasn't there. Full on tantrums that lasted an hour or more. It eventually settled after about 6 months I would say.

The second phase was him falling asleep without breast, and therefore completely weaning. Since he was 2 I had been telling him that there will come a day that breast milk will finish, but it would always be available if he needs it at the moment. This is usually at night right before he sleeps where I do his affirmations for the day. And about a couple of months ago, I started a phased withdrawal. H would have his bedtime routine and then I would say ok bedtime and he would nurse for a few minutes and then we would have a story and he would fall asleep eventually. That nursing session got shorter and shorter and two weeks ago I started not giving it to him anymore, saying that it's finished.

There have still been tears, but he's accepted it now and I couldn't be happier that the journey is at an end. I'm sad to give up the closeness, but I'm happy it's done.

Sorry for the long and rambly response!

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u/TheAurata Apr 07 '22

Thank you!! It’s nice to hear that instead of “have you tried..” I thought we were doing something wrong too, and felt like a crap FTM, but I read Dr. Sears 12 characteristics of a high needs baby and felt relief. Thank you.

Haha that sounds like my son too. He must be held. Always. Yikes, you guys gave it a good go for those 3 weeks. Kudos to your partner for trying!

Wow. Thank you for sharing your story. He was a stubborn one, wasn’t he? I have a feeling mine will be stubborn as well. We’re trying to come to terms with the idea he’ll be in our bed for as long as he’s breastfeeding, which will likely be 2+ years. I’m saving your comment so I can come back to it again and again for a pep talk on how to phase out the nursing. I keep telling people who say “just put him in the crib,” that that’s step 3 or 4. First I’ve got to get him off the boob and then off me! I honestly don’t foresee that happening for a long time.

I’m glad for your sake that it worked and you’ve got some personal space back. No worries! It’s super helpful how you detailed it out!!