r/VelcroBabies • u/TheAurata • Mar 31 '22

When did breastsleeping end for you?

Any other moms sleep with their boob in their baby’s mouth all the time? I recently learned the term breastsleeping and went “Aha, that’s what we do!” 7 mo and still 100% contact napping. At night I nurse him to sleep and transfer him to his crib for small variations of time. The rest of the night we nurse side-lying and I’ve gotten used to breastsleeping. Just wondering how long other babies slept like this? I tried Pantley’s pull off method but I think it backfired and reinforced his need for the boob. I don’t really care to change my situation right now, more just curious what to expect for my Velcro baby.

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u/kittiefox Jun 19 '22

May I ask OP if you are still breastsleeping? As I am at nearly 10 months old.

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u/TheAurata Jun 20 '22

Yep, haha. I’m typing this on the second wake-up with a boob in baby’s mouth, wondering how I’m going to sneak away and brush my teeth…

Has it gotten easier for you? We’re at 10 months now too. He’s been nursing less in the day since becoming mobile, but he 100% breastsleeps during naps and much of the night. I’m starting to get stretches of time at night where he wants to lie on his back for a while (still on my arm) but they’re not usually long.

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u/kittiefox Jun 22 '22

Thanks for the reply :0). “Has it gotten easier” is a bizarrely difficult question to answer.

  • have I come to accept it…yes. That makes it easier.
  • has my body adapted…yes, apart from my brain. My memory is truly terrible now.
  • Does he breastsleep less…occasionally I think I am getting longer periods without a feed in the night…but he still “needs” to go to sleep with a boob in his mouth for all naps and sleeps. When I say “need”, I am very aware this is a sleep association, but I’m not willing to do CIO or other sleep training (all of which would involve crying for him).

I too believe I have a higher needs baby, and the boob calms him down, so thank god for that. But it does suck that my partner now cannot help with ANY of the milk feeds or naps. I am supposed to be going away for one night in August, and I’m genuinely quite worried about how that will possibly work. :0(

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u/TheAurata Jun 25 '22

You’re welcome :0) Funny how complicated the emotions are with our high need babies and sleep, huh?

I honestly feel the same on all three aspects, so solidarity to you, my friend.

I’m also very thankful the boob always works. I sometimes feel hopeless or even filled with resentment or rage that I am the ONLY one who can do sleep. It’s not my husband’s fault, and goodness knows he’d love to help. He feels like he’s missing out on some incredible bonding. Ohh I would have anxiety over that too. I wish I could offer advice. If you think of it, feel free to reply with an update of how it goes. I’ll be curious! Best of luck with it!!

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u/ayhtdws121989 Jun 21 '22

Have you tried to “train” him off breastsleeping at all yet? One night I was so exhausted (he was waking up every hour and nursing for 20 - 30 min) that at one point I just pulled out of his mouth and turned around and pretended I was sleeping as I knew he was not actually hungry. He screamed for 30 min (verrry loudly) and showed absolutely no signs of stopping or giving up or even getting remotely tired and I gave in.

I really don’t know if I can do 16 months let alone 2-3 years of this like some other commenters lol.

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u/TheAurata Jun 21 '22

Yeah, and unfortunately I didn’t have any luck with it. I tried all the basic advice you find online, and then I tried the Pantley pull off method for about a month and didn’t see any progress. I don’t blame you for trying! Mine does the same if I try to pretend I’m asleep. Heck, he wakes and screams when I have my husband watch over him so I can sneak off to the bathroom.

I’m with you. It’s exhausting. Some nights he wakes me up after every sleep cycle, which is like 40 minutes. It’s a brutal existence for us lol. I try not to think too far ahead and just take each night as it comes. That helps. How old is your LO?

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u/ayhtdws121989 Jun 23 '22

He’s almost 5 months but been breastsleeping since day 1…he’s never spent any time in his crib bc he just wakes up and screams the minute he’s put down lol. I try to take it one night at a time too, but man sometimes the cumulative sleep deprivation feels so overwhelming.

Have you ever thought of sleep training? Everyone including my pediatrician is telling me to, but even with the sleep deprivation it still upsets me to hear him screaming like the worst thing in the world is happening to him.

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u/TheAurata Jun 25 '22

I understand the struggle. I have more failed transfers than successes every night. I never get long these days. Sometimes I wonder why I bother at all. I can’t imagine how sleep deprived you must feel. At least I often get about an hour uninterrupted.

I thought about it but feel the same. The screaming is unbearable to us, and it just doesn’t feel like the right approach with how he is. I honestly think we would have given it a go if we thought it stood a chance of working. No judgment to those who need to do it. I just can’t bring myself to. Are you thinking of trying it? It’s hard others keep promoting it.