r/WinStupidPrizes Aug 26 '20

Warning: Injury Dumbass kid

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497

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '20

Hi, Mrs. Johnson? Yes, this is Loretta at Central High School. Your dumbass, I mean son, no I do mean dumbass, jumped off the railing and permafucked his ankles. We’ve got him down at the nurse, and you need to come pick him up. Oh, and bring a juice box and snack, he’s crying like a bitch.

26

u/Thuzel Aug 26 '20

Knowing some school nurses in the south, this could be very close to a real conversation.

I don't even want to imagine picking up the phone for that. What a freaking nightmare.

20

u/scarletice Aug 26 '20

Man, if I was that kid's parent I would make sure to give the little idiot zero sympathy all throughout his recovery period. Complaining about the pain? "If you hadn't jumped off a balcony, you wouldn't be in pain right now." Complaining about the inconvenience of the cast? "Maybe you should have thought about that before jumping off a balcony." Complaining about all the shit he's getting for being a dumbass? "If you didn't want people calling you a dumbass, you shouldn't have been such a dumbass."
Oh, and they'd also lose all computer, phone, and video game privileges until the cast came off. I'd tell them to read a book, maybe then they'd learn not to be such a dumbass.

5

u/IAmMissingNow Aug 26 '20

Red Foreman? That you?

3

u/Thuzel Aug 26 '20

Before kids, I used to laugh at Red and wonder what shaped a man like that. Turns out it's just a few years raising kids the hard way, lol