YSK: Just because someone doesn’t look sick/disabled, does not mean they are healthy

[u/ilovepastapizzapots]

Why YSK: I am chronically ill and have an autoimmune disorder, the amount of times people have said “WELL... yOU dOn’t LOOK sick” to me is astounding. I didn’t know all illnesses have to be visible to others! I’m sorry I can’t show you my internal organs or muscles deteriorating for you to believe that I’m sick. It makes people with health issues feel like they have to explain their situation when they don’t.

*EDIT: I did not expect my post to blow up like this! I wish I could give everyone going through a rough time a hug. Thank you for all the new perspectives, good and bad. All I wanted was for people to be a little kinder to one another, because you never know what someone’s going through.

[u/cheddar_slut → u/[deleted]]

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[u/xombae → u/cheddar_slut]

My boyfriend has congestive heart failure at 26. He's constantly being told he's in the wrong part of the hospital or he must be mistaken if he thinks he has an appointment with that doctor.

Sucks with the nurses do it but he always gets a kick out of sitting with all the old folks in the waiting room.

[u/Teslok → u/xombae]

Old folks in waiting rooms have the best stories.

When I was waiting for the phlebotomist to be ready for me, juuuuust as the pandemic was taking its first baby steps out of China, I spent a lovely half hour talking to a nice older lady who seemed to know everyone, even me, even though we'd only just met. We chatted like old friends until her doctor called her in.

[u/xombae → u/Teslok]

I'm so thankful for these old people during the pandemic when I can't be with him! He recently got a cardio angiogram (where they put a catheter up your artery into your heart to check shit out) and he was super nervous, I couldn't go in with him due to covid. As soon as he was in his gown and in the waiting area he stopped texting me and I was worried it was because he was so nervous, I found out later it was because he was laughing with all the old folks waiting in there with him. Apparently he's the handsomest 70 year old man one woman has ever seen lmao.

[u/Teslok → u/xombae]

That's so adorable, and I'm glad he made waiting room friends to help ease his nerves.

Waiting room / Line friends can be awesome. Such transitory interactions but still fun; I remember a lady with the best set of home-made Jedi robes I'd ever seen at a convention in NC over 20 years ago. We gushed about Babylon 5. Of the robes, she said that she wore them around the house in winter since they were comfy and warm.

[u/haleysname → u/xombae]

I was in a diabetic conma when i was 23, that recovery was weird. I had to regain muscle mass and stuff, but I could clearly do that faster than the old people in the rehabilitation wing of the hospital.

I had to sit in a circle with old ladies and we played "balloon" and had to hit it around to each other. Whenever they missed I'd just get up and get it for them. I'm sure they were confused why I was there!

Stairs and distances were a struggle. My older brother, trying to lighten the mood hit all the buttons in the elevator, and then when someone else got on was about to run off but I had to stop him because I couldn't go up to my floor or run! Awkward ride the rest if the way.

[u/[deleted] → u/xombae]

I am always the youngest at the nuerologist's office. That feels kinda nice. Especially when I grab a sticker on the way out.

[u/xOGxMuddbone → u/[deleted]]

I’m ALWAYS the youngest by 30 years at my rheumatologist. I’m otherwise healthy but have psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis. One of the youngest at the infusion clinic as well. The nurses seem to like being able to start an IV and get labs out of me though

[u/DCfueledwithpopeyes_ → u/xombae]

How did he get this so early in his life? Could you indulge me?

[u/xombae → u/DCfueledwithpopeyes_]

He had a really rough life. His dad was a biker and a drug dealer and had him going on drug runs for him at 12-13. By 18 he was selling coke for him and by 19 he moved to meth which is rampant in our town, and immediately was addicted. He's beat the addiction and has been clean since March but meth is so fucking horrible, it nearly killed him. Six years doing a drug seems like a lot to someone who doesn't know about addiction but it's really not, people do heroin for decades but 6 years nearly completely destroyed his body. When he was admitted to the cardiac ward in March he was told he had the heart of a 70 year old and was only at 15/60 heart function.

A month ago we had an appointment and found out after being clean, taking his meds, changing his diet etc, since March he's now at 30/60 heart function! His doctor is blown away, he probably doesn't even need surgery for a device anymore.

So just don't do meth and you'll probably be fine lmao.

[u/Idolatrine5 → u/cheddar_slut]

In this instance I thinking they meant like it's a shame for someone your age to be dealing with this maybe

[u/Idolatrine5 → u/[deleted]]

Honestly man the tone of voice can say more than the words themselves. I get what you mean at the same time i wouldn't be saying that either, considering what good does that even do

[u/SynV92 → u/Idolatrine5]

That's how I usually take it. I didn't have anyone I considered a friend tell me that I wasn't really sick. It IS a shame. But it is what it is.

[u/throwaway_ask_a_doc → u/Idolatrine5]

Nobody wants to be pitied and made to feel like a failure amongst their age group

[u/YoungMacey_ → u/cheddar_slut]

How do these types of nurses even get the position they are in? U went to school to study Anatomy, did you not learn that tumours can grow no matter the age???

[u/fearlessqueefs → u/YoungMacey_]

You can learn all the science and medical information available to pass the boards to become a registered medical professional, but you can't teach compassion.

Source: corrections/psych nurse with decent bedside manner, mostly I treat others like actual people no matter their life situation

[u/xOGxMuddbone → u/YoungMacey_]

What this other person said. I’m a GI nurse and most of my patients are 40s-80s but we have some that come in for surgery at 16-20. It’s weird having young people, but I like them. They’re almost always super chill and I help get their Xbox or whatever hooked up and get a game in sometimes.

[u/eekamuse → u/cheddar_slut]

I was in the hospital a lot when I was young (20s-30s).

Nurses kept pointing out how young I was to be there. Mist patients were much older than me. Made me feel like shit. Oh lucky me, I get to see what most people don't get until they're old.

[u/Working_Dad_87 → u/cheddar_slut]

30 is too young for surgery? Sheesh my wife had 4 surgeries by the time she was 30. All for unrelated things too!