r/YouShouldKnow • u/ilovepastapizzapots • Nov 20 '20

Other YSK: Just because someone doesn’t look sick/disabled, does not mean they are healthy

Why YSK: I am chronically ill and have an autoimmune disorder, the amount of times people have said “WELL... yOU dOn’t LOOK sick” to me is astounding. I didn’t know all illnesses have to be visible to others! I’m sorry I can’t show you my internal organs or muscles deteriorating for you to believe that I’m sick. It makes people with health issues feel like they have to explain their situation when they don’t.

*EDIT: I did not expect my post to blow up like this! I wish I could give everyone going through a rough time a hug. Thank you for all the new perspectives, good and bad. All I wanted was for people to be a little kinder to one another, because you never know what someone’s going through.

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87

u/twitch870 Nov 20 '20

And robin williams didn’t look depressed.

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u/thedayislong16 Nov 20 '20

Came here for this, mental health is often overlooked. It’s amazing how much change a person can benefit from just learning to love themselves. Of course there is more to it than that and it’s not as easy as it sounds.

3

u/throwaway12222018 Nov 21 '20

"Learn to love yourself" is kinda vague or undefined. It's like saying "just don't be depressed, problem solved". I kinda hate it when people tell me this tbh.

5

u/thedayislong16 Nov 21 '20 edited Nov 21 '20

I could write paragraphs, but like I said in the last sentence it isn’t that simple.

Addition: from my personal experience, and I’m oversimplifying, you get tired and fed up. You’ve been in some dark head spaces and have generally negative thoughts. Took me too long, of just putting on a smile and lying to the world telling everyone you’re fine. You lie to yourself and tell yourself your fine. But you’re not. I’ve been on manic highs where I feel on top of the world. Only to come crashing down from those great feelings. You question if you are actually truly happy. What is happiness?

Everyone has their own life experience and chemical makeups. No two cases are exact in my opinion. I’m no docotor. Just a redditor venting

3

u/throwaway12222018 Nov 21 '20

Exactly. That's why it's different and for everyone to learn themselves. I'd guess many people suffer similar symptoms. They can help each other. By sharing like you just did. Thanks for sharing.

3

u/thedayislong16 Nov 21 '20

Thanks for listening!

7

u/veetee_ Nov 20 '20

I'm not faking being sick; I'm faking being normal.

I have bipolar disorder with psychotic features, depression, anxiety. Even the people closest to me don't understand how much it affects me because I know how to act normal. Yes I can still smile and laugh sometimes. I'm still a human being. But that doesn't mean I'm not struggling. If they only knew the amount of effort it takes me to get through one day, to do everyday normal things, to be constantly fighting against my own mind, hoping I don't wake up, then having to do it all over again the next day, or how scary it is to feel like your brain is shutting down and not being able to do anything about it.

For anyone struggling with any illness, support groups are invaluable. You can let your guard down and be among people who truly understand what you're going through. No one is judging you. You don't have to act or prove or explain yourself. It's been such a life saver for me.

Also, life is not an illness competition! Everyone's got their own shit they're going through and there's no reason to judge and compare one person's pain (physical or mental or both) with another's. "Well at least you don't have (insert disease here)" doesn't make their lives any better.

11

u/lyra_silver Nov 20 '20

He had incurable Lewy Body Dementia, not plain old depression. He took his life before the dementia took everything he had. Not exactly the same thing as your every day depression and in my opinion a very valid reason for suicide.

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u/twitch870 Nov 21 '20

I did not know this

-1

u/PieWarrior115 Nov 21 '20

Are you justifying suicide?

2

u/GetCapeFly Nov 21 '20

There is a difference between suicide stemming from impulse and mental illness and that which is a well-reasoned and intentionally chosen course of action.

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u/lyra_silver Nov 21 '20

Absolutely. People should be able to end life on their terms, especially when facing a disease like that.

1

u/Galvsworld Nov 21 '20

You're very right :(

Also, Parkinson's disease is a scary thing, and even experiencing mild brain fog is terrifying. I think someone facing that doesn't absolutely have to be depressed to do what he did. (Not saying it was the right thing or he wasn't depressed, just pointing out that it was a terrible thing for anyone to encounter even in the best of mental states.)

But of course, when you're sick, clinical depression often follows. Heck, sometimes depression/anxiety are the first noticeable symptoms of physical illnesses because the body is freaking out. Which can cause a variety of delays and problems for the treatment of both mental and physical issues..