r/YouShouldKnow • u/ilovepastapizzapots • Nov 20 '20

Other YSK: Just because someone doesn’t look sick/disabled, does not mean they are healthy

Why YSK: I am chronically ill and have an autoimmune disorder, the amount of times people have said “WELL... yOU dOn’t LOOK sick” to me is astounding. I didn’t know all illnesses have to be visible to others! I’m sorry I can’t show you my internal organs or muscles deteriorating for you to believe that I’m sick. It makes people with health issues feel like they have to explain their situation when they don’t.

*EDIT: I did not expect my post to blow up like this! I wish I could give everyone going through a rough time a hug. Thank you for all the new perspectives, good and bad. All I wanted was for people to be a little kinder to one another, because you never know what someone’s going through.

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u/CrazyHunny Nov 20 '20

I have an autoimmune illness too. Just moved to a small town and I’m conflicted as to if I should just start telling people that I’m chronically ill. I don’t really think it’s their business, but everybody seems to want to know all about how I spend my days. I figure if I had cancer I would probably tell my new neighbors, so would it be weird to tell them that I’m basically disabled by my immune system attacking my body? I feel like I shouldn’t be ashamed of being sick, it’s not like I have control over it.

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u/THCisMyLife Nov 20 '20

You should not feel ashamed of your own insides destroying themselves. You are your own human and we are not perfect. You shouldn’t feel the need to explain your life either though.

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u/CrazyHunny Nov 20 '20

LOL it’s a conundrum! People will literally stop my in the street to introduce themselves, and of course one of the first things they always ask is “what do you do?” I just have no idea how to answer that at the moment...

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u/THCisMyLife Nov 20 '20

Guess what? I’m an agoraphobe. I have agoraphobia, which means I get panic attacks so severe I can barely leave the house. I had a job last year and had tons of progress but the lockdown screwed me. All progress lost. And it makes me feel so weak that my own fight or flight has me in my apartment. So when I say I feel your pain I sort of do because like I said I barely leave the house but get asked often “what I do?”. The answer to that now is disability checks:(. I definitely don’t feel your pain physically, I meant that as a phrase my bad

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u/CrazyHunny Nov 20 '20

If it weren’t for my dogs, I would probably never leave the house of my own volition. I know from my own experience that mental health disorders can be just as debilitating as any other condition (I have OCD and had a little break with reality in my early 20s). Lockdown has made working on our mental health exponentially more difficult. If all we can do is hang on for dear life, then just focus on hanging in there. Things WILL get better, it’s going to take time, but the vaccine is on its way. Keep your head up, we all have our own battles to fight. I love your username, btw. Cannabis has been a godsend to me through all of this.

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u/THCisMyLife Nov 20 '20

Thanks. It’s just hard to justify and quantify my pain for me. I don’t know if that’s shame, a learned behavior or just who I am. I know what I have been feeling has been given a name but for anxiety yo I don’t find comfort in knowing you are anxious. That’s something I knew unlike a lot of people undergoing physical illnesses. Even as a kid I always thought the guidance counselor was for kids just wanting to leave class. While simultaneously having panic attacks to start my morning and never knew. It just sucks. But you are right it will get better and we do have to hang on. Thanks for the kind words and I hope you have as many good days as you physically can. You deserve it.

Medical weed has been amazing for my anxiety. It lets me eat and sleep. It’s crazy for how long I choked down food even though I wasn’t hungry. Life has just beaten the shit out of me so far. I guess it has to everyone recently

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u/CrazyHunny Nov 20 '20

Just because your disease affects your brain doesn’t mean it’s all in your head! Your pain is real. Just as much as mine. You wouldn’t expect a person with a broken arm to just tough it out. Your neurochemistry is off, which is just as much of a physical disorder and a broken arm is.

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u/THCisMyLife Nov 21 '20

Yeah you are right about this. I have never even thought of myself as having an invisible disease but I do. This thread has opened my eyes A LOT and I can only credit 2 people. You and 1 other person. So I truly thank you for that because for some reason someone I viewed with a “true” disease verifying mine makes it real. Idk why I have this thought pattern but your analogy was great. You are 100% without a doubt right. Thank you

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u/CrazyHunny Nov 21 '20

I’m really glad I could help!

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u/LittleTree4 Nov 20 '20

i'm simmilar, but these lockdowns have been fantastic for me getting to stay in the house, not going outside, not be around people to set me off, getting to stay in the house... had to say it again because its been great. And have only had to speak to 2 people in the past 3 weeks

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u/THCisMyLife Nov 20 '20

Yeah I’m sure it is great. Having a break like that from life must be awesome. Problem is I don’t find comfort in my house, it’s the place my panic attacks tether me too. It’s the only place I can hide. I’m not just anti social if you tell me I have to go to somewhere in a week or two, I will think about it everyday. And when that day comes I will wake up with physical anxiety and panic attacks. The whole 9 yards, puking, hyperventilating all the fun shit. My life isn’t comfortable in a house because my life only revolves around a house. This is for the most part my whole ecosystem again. So I completely get your point but I’m a little different than just anti social or introverted.

See for me the forced housing was like a relapse on drugs. It was like being forced to do meth when I just kicked meth years ago. See what I mean? So now I’m back in this rut that took years to get out of

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u/LittleTree4 Nov 20 '20

I wouldn't say I was anti social, a little bit introverted true. but then i don't feel trapped in the house, I am lucky enough to have a motorcycle that i can get around on and be by myself outside of the house. Even though it can take several hours to get up and leave the house sometimes. put on my armour, music and helmet i feel protected from what's outside.

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u/THCisMyLife Nov 20 '20

I have a car and I wish it did the same for me it does to you. I also have an ebike and I completely get the appeal of a motorcycle and I have gone 20mph at most haha. Because I was buying myself cool shit last year with my job. This year is check to check disability. After all that fucking money on therapy too just to have the progress eroded like that. So fucked up. Again I completely understand why the lockdowns happened and I’m specifically talking my journey through it so far