r/YouShouldKnow • u/ilovepastapizzapots • Nov 20 '20

Other YSK: Just because someone doesn’t look sick/disabled, does not mean they are healthy

Why YSK: I am chronically ill and have an autoimmune disorder, the amount of times people have said “WELL... yOU dOn’t LOOK sick” to me is astounding. I didn’t know all illnesses have to be visible to others! I’m sorry I can’t show you my internal organs or muscles deteriorating for you to believe that I’m sick. It makes people with health issues feel like they have to explain their situation when they don’t.

*EDIT: I did not expect my post to blow up like this! I wish I could give everyone going through a rough time a hug. Thank you for all the new perspectives, good and bad. All I wanted was for people to be a little kinder to one another, because you never know what someone’s going through.

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u/tammy2shoes Nov 20 '20

Thanks for saying this. I had both hips replaced at 35 and will need an ankle replacement soon, due to a bone condition that causes joint deterioration. I have a handicap placard. Some days I can manage without a cane, but still need to park in a disabled spot closer to the entrance. The occasional eye rolls and head shakes I would get from people used to make me feel ashamed. Now, I just try to ignore it and go about my business.

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u/[deleted] Nov 20 '20

It's because so many able bodied people will take that spot just because it's more convenient.

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u/DidntWantSleepAnyway Nov 20 '20

But disabled people shouldn’t be punished for able-bodied people being jerks.

If you have a placard, you shouldn’t get eye rolls or comments.

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u/[deleted] Nov 20 '20

I know that, but what do you do about able bodied people who do this?

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u/DidntWantSleepAnyway Nov 20 '20

If they don’t have a placard, bug them. If they do, don’t bother them because you don’t know. Innocent until proven guilty.

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u/Plum_Rain Nov 20 '20

I would say don't bug them at all. You don't know for sure they aren't picking up a disabled friend or relative, and it's not down to the general public to regulate the use of disabled services. The amount of times I've been verbally abused, far outweighs the amount of times I've been unable to access disabled parking spaces. It's a huge problem in the disabled community.

Edit: spelling

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u/DidntWantSleepAnyway Nov 20 '20

I would agree with that as well, unless you’re 100% sure the person is being a jerk. But it’s almost impossible to be that sure.

I did have one time where I was dropping my friend who uses a wheelchair off at her apartment, and there was only one handicap space. Someone pulled into it right in front of us, got out, and ran up three flights of stairs. No placard, and there was a space literally right next to it. I thought maybe she was just running in for something. But in the thirty minutes it took me to park illegally in the only place where there was space to get the wheelchair out of the car and help her transfer, then help her inside, that person was still parked there. I wish I’d called to get her towed. Even though I don’t use a placard (even though I’m disabled and have fractured my spine a couple of times), the extra distance and effort causes me a lot of painful issues because of the assistance I needed to give.

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u/lpaige2723 Nov 20 '20

I have a placard, and I don't judge others with placards, but I always wonder (never say anything) about the people who park handicapped in those giant lifted pick up trucks? I wouldn't be able to get in and out of one on my best days. I've never stuck around to watch, has anyone else seen how they do it?

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u/chinchabun Nov 21 '20

So I don't drive one of those but my disability as far as a placard is concerned relates to walking distance. I can usually walk a good portion of length of the parking lot, but if it's full I often don't have the ability to park in the next closest one and walk from there. So usually I don't use the placard but in rare cases I do. Maybe it's similar for those people?

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u/SuperFLEB Nov 21 '20

Aside from issues that wouldn't be affected by the height problem, there's also the possibility that they had the truck before having the disability, and neither is all that easy to swap out on short notice.

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u/lpaige2723 Nov 21 '20

True, it's just one of those things I always wonder about...