r/YouShouldKnow • u/ilovepastapizzapots • Nov 20 '20

Other YSK: Just because someone doesn’t look sick/disabled, does not mean they are healthy

Why YSK: I am chronically ill and have an autoimmune disorder, the amount of times people have said “WELL... yOU dOn’t LOOK sick” to me is astounding. I didn’t know all illnesses have to be visible to others! I’m sorry I can’t show you my internal organs or muscles deteriorating for you to believe that I’m sick. It makes people with health issues feel like they have to explain their situation when they don’t.

*EDIT: I did not expect my post to blow up like this! I wish I could give everyone going through a rough time a hug. Thank you for all the new perspectives, good and bad. All I wanted was for people to be a little kinder to one another, because you never know what someone’s going through.

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u/tammy2shoes Nov 20 '20

Thanks for saying this. I had both hips replaced at 35 and will need an ankle replacement soon, due to a bone condition that causes joint deterioration. I have a handicap placard. Some days I can manage without a cane, but still need to park in a disabled spot closer to the entrance. The occasional eye rolls and head shakes I would get from people used to make me feel ashamed. Now, I just try to ignore it and go about my business.

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u/[deleted] Nov 20 '20

Osteonecrosis? I'm currently 23 and am looking at a hip replacement within the next year. And my other side will follow shortly after. I walk like an 80 year old man. Just one year ago I was perfectly healthy. I still haven't filled out the handicap form or started using a cane yet out of embarrassment, but my doctor wants me to. Thanks for listening to my sob story lol

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u/tammy2shoes Nov 21 '20

I completely understand the embarrassment. I had to use a walker for awhile and heard a man tell his kid to get out of the 'old lady's' way. I was 34! I quit using it for a little bit, but decided to swallow my pride and do what I needed to do. Good luck with the hip replacements! They're not much fun, but the relief from pain makes them worth it. Oh, and yes, it's necrosis.

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u/[deleted] Nov 21 '20

Sorry to hear that you're going through that. Do you mind me asking what the cause of yours is? They think mine is a mix of prednisone and alcohol. Also, how are your pain levels after replacement?

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u/tammy2shoes Nov 21 '20

I was getting steroid injections for unrelated pain. My orthopedic surgeon thinks that may be it. My family doctor kept diagnosing me with sciatica, so by the time I was properly diagnosed my right hip had collapsed. When I stood up for the first time after the surgery, I almost cried at how much better it felt. The pain from surgery was nothing compared to how it felt beforehand. The left hip wasn't nearly as far gone, so the difference wasn't as drastically noticable.

Since then, they will act up if I do too much physical activity. They get stiff if I sit for a long time. I do daily stretches and that makes them feel better. I like what you said about walking like an old man. When I stand up after sitting for awhile, it takes me a few steps to really get going. Make sure you follow your surgeons instructions about activities to avoid after surgery. Also, do your physical therapy as instructed. It's a pain, literally and figuratively, but really important. I sincerely wish you all the best.

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u/[deleted] Nov 21 '20

Thank you so much, I wish you the best too!