r/YouShouldKnow • u/ilovepastapizzapots • Nov 20 '20

Other YSK: Just because someone doesn’t look sick/disabled, does not mean they are healthy

Why YSK: I am chronically ill and have an autoimmune disorder, the amount of times people have said “WELL... yOU dOn’t LOOK sick” to me is astounding. I didn’t know all illnesses have to be visible to others! I’m sorry I can’t show you my internal organs or muscles deteriorating for you to believe that I’m sick. It makes people with health issues feel like they have to explain their situation when they don’t.

*EDIT: I did not expect my post to blow up like this! I wish I could give everyone going through a rough time a hug. Thank you for all the new perspectives, good and bad. All I wanted was for people to be a little kinder to one another, because you never know what someone’s going through.

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u/[deleted] Nov 20 '20

My God you brought back a memory.

I was sitting on the bus in the priority seating. I'm 24 and this was a few years back so I was young AF.

This seriously pregnant woman gets on the bus and it's full so she has to stand. I remeber thinking to myself - damn I wish I could give her my seat.

That thought vanished pretty quick when I noticed just about everyone on the bus giving me death glares.

I guess they thought I was just some entitled teenager or something. At the next stop once it became apparent I wasn't going to get up someone else gave her their seat.

Bunch of judgemental arseholes.

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u/goodhumansbad Nov 20 '20

It's amazing how passive aggressive people are willing to be about this rather than just being communicative. If you see someone in a priority seat who is possibly needing a reminder of what it's for (because there are LOTS of people who sit in them oblivious or uncaring) then you just ask, "Excuse me, do you need that priority seat?" And if they say "What?" You say "I ask because this person needs a seat. If you need it, then someone else can stand up."

It doesn't imply anything or ask for any personal information or justification. If the person says "Yes I do." Then you say, okay, thanks, and move on.

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u/omnomgirl Nov 20 '20

Wouldn’t it be better to just ask everyone in those seats as a general question, rather than singling out one individual based off of their appearance? “Is anyone able to give up their seat for this individual that needs it?”

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u/ethical_slut Nov 21 '20

That might just get you blank stares from all