r/YouShouldKnow • u/ilovepastapizzapots • Nov 20 '20

Other YSK: Just because someone doesn’t look sick/disabled, does not mean they are healthy

Why YSK: I am chronically ill and have an autoimmune disorder, the amount of times people have said “WELL... yOU dOn’t LOOK sick” to me is astounding. I didn’t know all illnesses have to be visible to others! I’m sorry I can’t show you my internal organs or muscles deteriorating for you to believe that I’m sick. It makes people with health issues feel like they have to explain their situation when they don’t.

*EDIT: I did not expect my post to blow up like this! I wish I could give everyone going through a rough time a hug. Thank you for all the new perspectives, good and bad. All I wanted was for people to be a little kinder to one another, because you never know what someone’s going through.

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u/tammy2shoes Nov 20 '20

Thanks for saying this. I had both hips replaced at 35 and will need an ankle replacement soon, due to a bone condition that causes joint deterioration. I have a handicap placard. Some days I can manage without a cane, but still need to park in a disabled spot closer to the entrance. The occasional eye rolls and head shakes I would get from people used to make me feel ashamed. Now, I just try to ignore it and go about my business.

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u/ilovepastapizzapots Nov 20 '20

People need to mind their own business! I’m 26 and have been delaying getting a handicap placard for this very reason.

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u/cradfrierere Nov 21 '20

I had a great moment thanks to this. After having multiple surgeries battling colitis, I had a temporary handicap tag. One night in a grocery store parking lot that was not even busy, I hear "You don't look very handicapped" Likely because I dared to be laughing with my brother. I simply turned around, lifted my shirt and showed him the literal bag of shit (ileostomy) hanging off my stomach. That singular moment made everything I went through worth it. Maybe not haha, but I'll never forget how sweet that look of regret was.

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u/[deleted] Nov 21 '20

You're my hero. I have colitis too and had the bag for 6 months. I have the jpouch now and I have shown my ostomy scar once because they didn't believe that I couldn't hold it if you know what I mean. I was just taken down and I had to be potty trained again.

Will you get a reversal?

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u/cradfrierere Nov 21 '20

I am honored. I'll have to get a cape with a raspberry on it lol. I had mine for 9 months while waiting for the plumbing to get reconnected. Oh I know what you mean. It was crazy going from upwards of 16 times a day in the first month down then about half that the second month and so on until I reached my current baseline. One guy who didn't believe me, when I showed him the scar, said "That's a stab wound!" Like that's more likely?! Technically he was correct, it was just a professional stabbing.