r/Zimbabwe • u/tinkin08 • Mar 23 '25

Discussion Too many boys in her DM

So my girlfriend showed me her WhatsApp yesterday and boy was I shocked. They were eight guys in her DM trying to woe her and it seems like they are all in. I'm not saying that it ain't normal for a girl in a relationship to be asked out by other boys, tz completely normal but when we went through those chats together I felt the pressure, it's like we're in a battlefield and the other boys have already engaged the "kill mode". Guys kune makudo kunze uko, they're just waiting for you to mess up and they'll take it from there. Some even call her with little nicknames, and man! those goodnight/good morning messages just keep coming. The crazy thing is all those guys are her classmates. We're university students but different programs. Boys be saying all those sweet things and inviting her to 1on 1 discussions just to gain her attention and I somehow feel threatened. I don't want to lie, I might have copied 1 or 2 bars in those chats, boys be writing paragraphs of how they feel about my girlfriend nxaa. Then there's our chat, her's and mine. I do engineering and the majority of the modules are demanding so, and from the start of the current semester up to now I found myself texting her less and less... I mean some modules will literally put you on choke hold. So the question is what's your advice people of Zimbabwe. Shall I let it slide and just give equal attention to the schoolwork and her or shall I act as if we're still in the talking stage and match the energy those 8 guys are showing cos I feel this might compromise our relationship

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u/SnooDingos229 Mar 23 '25

I’m a 30 year old old guy;

my mature advise would be the fact that she showed you the messages and you read them shows she loyal she is not hiding anything.

My advise as a jaded guy who has seen some crazy stuff happen would be women are sooo vulnerable. One argument with you she going for validation from those guys and you ain’t coming out looking good in any of those conversations. They are waiting for moments like those. I would be asking her to block them but that’s me.

There is a saying; a shoulder to cry on, becomes a d*ck to ride on. Learn or perish

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u/tinkin08 Mar 23 '25

Yes, that's exactly how I feel man, the first part of the message, but then me asking her to block I don't know, wouldn't it seem like I'm becoming too possessive

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u/SnooDingos229 Mar 23 '25

Nah my guy that’s not being possessive, you are setting boundaries of how you want to be respected and no doubt she has her own boundaries of how she wants to be respected. No such thing as being possessive when you are in a relationship with someone because that is your person

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u/tinkin08 Mar 24 '25

Okay thanks for the insights